Apr. 3: If you've got to do it you might as well do it in style.

If you were to gouge your eyes out in the most epic fashion possible, how would you do it?

For example: I would use a live flamingo. And not a struggling flamingo, either. I would use no physical action, just pure manliness to exercise my dominion over the flamingo and force it into submission, use it to gouge the eyes, and then let it go on its way.

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Yahoo! Answers:

that's my greatest fear, i'm not even gonna go there
(You're greatest fear is that you will epically gouge out your own eyes? That one's pretty low on my list...)

i would use a vacuum duct-taped to somebodies uvula.

with chop stick!!

I would use the claw of a man-eating scorpion.

I'd use a porcupine

I would use a live tiger =D and daisys

With a fork?

I wouldn't, that's sick

i would use a tucan
to each his own......

I'd use a spork. :] Agggghhhh!! The agonyy! Oh, there's a piece of salad still on here but anyway, Arrrahhhhghhh!

Samurai swords
(Just make sure you can go through with it...
http://onecuriousyahoo.blogspot.com/2009/03/mar-2-there-has-to-be-more-efficient.html )

My fingers. I had a dream that I gouged out my right eye with my fingers once. And when I went to put it back in, I poked a whole in it and dark blood ran down my cheek. I was more scared of what my mom would say then my loss of sight. It was a pretty awesome dream.
(Hey, that's great no one cares.)

I would probably use my own fingers.. LOL.

do what?

i would use a snake
yes of course the fake oness!!

hmmm.... I'd [omitted], freeze it, then poke my eyes out...lol...
(I was originally going to leave this one out, but I thought I'd include this part and leave the rest to your imagination.)

I'd set up a rip-cord accross the Grand Canyon and stick a hook in one eye and slide down it to the other side where a long pike would be waiting just perfectly for my other eye to slide onto it.
(I think we have a winner.)

i would use a fishing hook!

I'm glad you asked...
For years I've wanted to gouge my eyes out with the main antenna on the Voyager 1 space probe.
I have to admit though, it's been a long hard road trying to figure out how to catch up to it so that I can fulfill my wish.
Yeah, I know, Voyager 2 is closer to us.
But what are you gonna' do?

i would have to go wit a banana, or maybe a crucifix... lol, dont do it! : D
(And if thy right eye offend thee...)

i heard spoons are the way to go. i hope i helped! ...if you want us to give an opinion on ur problem, its easier if we know whats wrong :)
(What makes you think there's something wrong?)

firecracker under the eyelids would be sweet as long as a camera is running. Otherwise I'd use a corkscrew like the ones you open a bottle of wine with.

i would use forks?! lol

a silver spoon lolz

creepy

A rusty spoon.

fingernails

The top of the Eiffel Tower.

After seeing Rosie O'Donnell sans clothing, I believe I would place my face in the cage of a live, hungry, and angry wolverine.
(*involuntary shudder*)

Yuck.. OK I'll use a fork?

gross

i hope this never happens but i would let a bear do that for me.

I would use a random stranger's middle finger.

ummm....i'd sharpen a pencil really sharp, then skydive into it! :D

lol, reading Oedipus? I would probably.... um.... squirt ketchup on my eyes!!!

(If I were doing this for the same reason Oedipus did, I would probably have to do way more than gouge out my eyes. And I think you need to recheck the definition of 'gouge'.)

I Would sneeze without closing my eyes so my eyes would pop outtta my head that way i can sotta see what i am doing then i would cut of the tendons and put the remains in someones soup/sandwich yummmm

What are you...high?

Either a pitchfork or a sheaf...