Apr. 21: Never mess with the United States Postal Service.

You are in Alabama State Penetentiary for life after being convicted of mail fraud. Prison, you've discovered, is boring. You sit in your cell all day with your cell mate, a convicted murder who goes only by Spanky the Splicer, trying to find something to do. You've finally had enough and decide you need escape, but you'll need to be creative. All you have is a box of 100 toothpicks with the tips cut off, a four month old blueberry pie, and the play button from a VCR. How do you get out?

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Yahoo! Answers:

you couldnnt..
(Well that's an overly pessimistic response... I like it.)

find the first guard i can see take his weapon take his keys and shoot my way out. and ill make sure to pee on everyones face that i kill

Hide in a bin covered by the toothpicks and pie
They just throw me out nd then i can escape from the dump
Plus the blueberry pie shuld last me the trip so i wont starve
(Yeah, you have fun living off the four month old pie.)

well ill figure tht out when im there

First I'd get my cell mate Spanky the Splicer to splice together the toothpicks into a long wooden pole (I assume that is why he is called the Splicer). I'd stick the blueberry pie on the end and dangle it out of the cell just before lunch so the fat hungry guard can see and come running to eat it. As it is four months old, he will get immediate diarrhoea and as he is running to the bathroom, I'll use my toothpick pole to hook the keys from his belt and use them to free myself from my cell. I'll use the play button from the VCR to give to Spanky to 'play' with so he doesn't try to follow me. I'll creep out of the building and use my toothpicks to pole vault over the fence and get the hell out of there! How's that?
(Actually Spanky gave that name to himself because he enjoys alliteration. His real name is Cal Tulowitz and he killed people with clothes hangers.)

lol
(This is normally where I would call you a complete idiot. However, in a somewhat interesting twist of fate, I feel this would be doing you a great injustice, for...)

OPEN THE DOOR..... LOL JK IDK
(...this, this is an idiot. "LOL JK IDK"... This may be a little over the top, but I hope your keyboard came to life and broke your face.)

i distract the guard with play button use the tooth pick to poke my cell mate so he can give me his cell phone he does it I contact the aliens and they get me out (my brothers in the aliens force he used be in nasa he gets paid in ufos which he sells) and i shove the pie at the guards face so he cant do anything before taking it off which gives me more time
P.S if u ever want aliens to help you call them at 1800 668 6868

i don't want to escape...... where will i get free lodging and food in these times of recession....
(Don't forget the free cable and workout facilities.)

i would get the gaurd to me with the cake then i will put the pie in the back of the cell. ill let my cell mate knock him down when the gaurd comes in the cell(i asume my cell mate is strong)
i get the gun of the gaurd an shoot my cell mate (to not let him go with me i dont wanna endanger other people xD) then i have 6 bullets left
i pick up my pie that the gaurd wanted i will shoot the next gaurd ill see and pick up his gun than i have about 13 bullets i kill every person on my way outside and when im olmost outside i keep an gaurd(that i didn't shot yet) hostage then i let him open the gate go to my house and eat the delicous pie with the gaurd and use the toothpicks to clean my teath then ill kill the gaurd i kept hostage.
(Where did you get the cake?)

give the guards the pie giving them food poisoning and steal their keys them kill them with toothpicks after taking their guns. Then blast my way out of the mutha------ place
(Kill them with the toothpicks after taking their GUNS. That seems like an outrageously inneficient use of time.)

think about every single episode of Prison Break and think like Michael Scofield.

Time to call Macguver! I would skip the play button and the toothpicks, rip the pie in half, put the two halves together to make a hole and put that hole on a wall.
(That doesn't work as well when it's typed out.)

i would convince the cell mate to escape, and when he did, while the cops are looking for him i sneek out by stabing people's eyes out with toothpiks

eat the pie.

Kill Spanky by gouging out his eyes with the play button, rub the pie filling on your sides, and slide through the bars. Throw the toothpicks at the other prisoners.
(Please, you know Spanky was in 'Nam. He would rip out your small intestine and skip rope with it before you could get close enough to gouge out his eyes. As the young people these days say, Spanky is "one bad mutha".)