Apr. 16: If only you'd bought that Prius, then this would never have happend.

While ice fishing in northern Canada, you are attacked by global warming. Right as you hook a bite, a carbon induced heat blast instantaneously melts the ice you're on, leaving you in freezing water. Global warming also, in that moment, killed your dog and changed you middle name to Francis, but you aren't concerned with that at the moment. In an unusual moment of good fortune you are rescued by two Eskimos riding a whale. Global warming had destroyed their igloos and stolen their supplies and women, so you join forces with them to get revenge on the climate changing jerk. What is your plan of action?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yahoo! Answers:

Lots of refrigerators (Nothing.. Global Warming is a myth.. perhaps I'll send Santa and the Easter Bunny after it?)
(I've met the Easter Bunny. You wouldn't know it from his rep, but he is one bad cottontail. He and Santa would kick global warming's emissions-induced posterior.)

Duh! Move to Central California, change your name back (unless it was dorkier than Francis before) and invite the Eskimos on your surfing vacation frenzification of fun!
(I don't know what 'frenzification' is, but it sounds awesome. Cowabunga!)

start an army with the eskimos on a mission to erase our carbon footprints

if we are so concerned with global warming(which is fake) why is the media not denouncing obamas plan to force our grandchildren into debt. At this rate my grandkids will be born in debt, in a poluted pond.
(What are you, a frog?)

Your plan of action is to wake up from this hideous dream and get back to reality!! The whole global warming thing gets changed to "climate change" when the weather turns cooler!! It happens every year, you fool!! It's not unnatural. Stop it!! By the way, my father's name (God rest his soul) was Francis; they called him Frank. And, he was the greatest man you ever wanted to meet!! So there,.
(I'm a little shocked that you actually see this as promoting the awareness of global warming. I felt that I laid on the sarcasm pretty thick.)

After a brief moment of ignorant reasoning, and because I'm tired of hearing Pukak tell his old college roommate how hot it is, I snatch the cellphone from his hand and make my call. In approximately 30 jiffies, Richard Branson shows up on his hovercoptercycle and whisks us away.
After a slight detour to battle Communism in 1962, the four of us soon find ourselves in Global Warming's Sinister Necropolis of Chlorofluorocarbons. The door shuts behind us.
To your WEST is a dark hallway, from which an alluring and blue smell drifts into your nostrils. To the EAST is a door marked "Kaylie's Room NO BOYS ALLOWED!". Straight ahead to the NORTH is an open doorway to a crappy 80s-themed party. >_

Pedal my way cross-ocean to Tokyo on my unicycle.

I would forget the revenge. I would open up a resort and have people come in and enjoy the warm weather. How often does a person get to sun bathe in Northern Canada?

you-you-idfk!!!
(What is this, some kind of chant?)

I would sit down next to you to see what you are smoking

Swim south to Acapulco. Threy say it's really quite nice down there.

Go kill the guy someone!!!
(Exactly.)