Apr. 22: I was just going to try it once. They said learning to read would be cool. They were wrong.

You work at Palabra Rehab Facility where you treat people who have become hooked on phonics. This is a serious condition affecting 2.3% of children who grew up in the 90's. They are all now young adult word junkies. What is your main treatment for someone who suffers from this affliction?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Make them listen to Jessie Jackson speeches until their ears bleed.
(That's just cruel.)

laugh at them

Baseball bat.
(Eh, still not as painful as listening to Jessie Jackson.)

a rifle. it is the only kind thing to do... poor sobs... ;)

make them play sudoku for six hors a dae....thatl fixm
(I see what you were going for here, but I don't understand why you spelled 'sudoku' correctly.)

You burn their "Word-A-Day" calendars.

OMG I remember Hooked on Phonics! I also remember like Muzzy or something like that to teach you foreign language. Now I look back and shudder.
(OMG that isn't what I asked.)

Phonology treatment

baseball bat, too,,,,

Lets all just give a moment- and be thankful they were never effected by a much worse disorder of a similar variety, usually chronic- almost never curable.. and thats being hooked on ebonics!
(Fo' shizzle.)

Get them hooked on drugs.

Easy. Heroin.

kiddnap them, and then leave them stranded in Redneck country... that will suffice.

Your not funny, stop trying so hard.
(Don't worry, I'm not.)

Fail
*Source*: Lara Croft, heroine of heavy metal and paragon of progressive rock
(Source fail!)

(Administrative Comment: The only thing Lara Croft is paragon of is not getting shot by the Chinese. And if we've learned anything from Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (a movie not even worth Wal-Mart's $5 bin), it's that not being shot by the Chinese, regardless of how many of them there are and what kind of ammunition they have, really isn't all that difficult.)