Feb. 17: These people would never survive in the big city...

New York City. Early evening. You are on vacation here from Saskatchewan and it's been a darn good time, don't you know... Anyway, you're walking down the sidewalk whistling the tune to "O Canada" when you get mugged. A dubious ruffian wielding a blackjack has pulled you into an alley and backed you into a corner. When he finds that your Rolex is fake (you bought it on a street corner 5 minutes ago, 3 blocks back) and your wallet is empty (you spent all your cash on the Rolex), he is angered and decides to beat you senseless. You are just off a crowded New York street so, of course, no one helps you. You conclude that your only manner of escape is the old cartoon gag: yell something random to distract him and flee in his confusion. The first blow is coming down any second. What do you yell?

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Yahoo! Answers:

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!!

im gay!!!

hello there officer...!!
(This guy apparently thought he was doing me a personal favor in answering this question, so after this he wrote "pls answer mine :" with a link to the question below it. The question: "Please rate my chest shape from 1-10." I elected not to participate.)

Saskatchewan. I've heard of that place from a episode in sex in the city. Anyone that rocks a fake Rolex is a Lahooser!

Wait here, I'll go get you some money.

OLD YELLER!!!

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS IN NYC EVERYBODY WANTS TO WATCH A FIRE YET NO ONE WILL STOP IF YOU YELL HELP!

Omgwth.

oh freak, i farted. i have NO idea why i just wrote that. that was really the first thing that came to mind just now.

LOOK UP there!

i'm from the city so believe this would work yell "officer shot, officer shot" and there will be like 5 cop cars there in like 10 seconds

something random like look over there a turtle! then kick him in the groin and run like mad

"What the ---- is that?"

"HEY! That is NOT NICE!"

Not the hair, NOT THE HAIR!

I Would Yell WHO ------ FARTED?! just to --- with him, then run

I have AIDS and cough in his face

Hey! Gimme all your money!
No honey, he's robbing you...
Shut up, you dumb slut!
You know you can't go talking to me out loud, remember?
Hey, I said shut up! Tell her mugger!
what makes you think he'd take your side?
Shut up damn voices, shut up!
(Source: "thing 1 and thing 2, in my head....")

"Mutley do something !".

"Insane in the Membrane!" while headbanging to Cypress Hill if that failed......."Mutley do something !".
(not entirely sure why he felt the need to answer twice)

"i have std's!"

thank god the police lol

"Stop, in the name of the law!"

i love you! and fate has brought us together again! now give it to me baby! lol idk. that would be pretty distracting though. then id kick him in the balz

HAVE A HANDFUL OF SKITTLES - TASTE THE RAINBOW BABY! *Tosses purse at robber*

"Don't you remember when your mother told you that it was wrong to steal and hurt people? Well, she wouldn't be happy if you are to inflict pain on me" Psych him out a little.

People like to see a good fire, so it is best to yell fire if you are being attacked. You will get lots of attention, and someone will come running with a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher has two good uses. You can hit the mugger over the head, or spray it with the material, blinding them for a good length of time. If you are a ventriloquist, you can always yell Freeze, put your hands up! I hope I never need to find out.