Feb. 21: Personally, I would go with something inconspicuous. But, hey, what do I know?

You’ve just finished testifying against a mafia boss for his role in a huge counterfeit peso scheme. You are the prosecution’s key witness and your testimony is so blatant and persuasive that the mob boss gets the chair. Due to the fact that a significant portion of his mob is still at large you are put into the witness protection program. The feds inform you that, because of an irreversible computer error, you will be living on the outskirts of Cleveland. You are less than thrilled about this, so as a consolation they let you pick your new name and tell you that it can be any name you choose. No limitations. What’s your new name?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Man, how I could I be so irresponsible? Well, I like my original name, but under the circumstances I choose Jack Killblood.

Emma Lynne Moon lol. I am a "Psychic" so I'll just do some "dirty work" to get them off my back, let 'them' see things that aren't there.

It will be ::: Never Atone i like the dramatic sound and when ppl call me that they have to say it in a very suave manner otherewise I'll have them murdered.. hahaha

ididn't do it, maine

Dixie Liberty.

(One person, in a truly great moment of inspiration and creativity, answered this question with my Yahoo screen name, which I will withhold for the sake of privacy.)

i prefer having no name is that is fine with u. people would adress me as you, she..

The Dude

Egg Benedict (seriously)

Hmm ... Coney Conifer

Alyssa Cunningham Haha cool question :)

A Pimp Named Slickback

E-Fizzle Cornholio.

This wouldn't happen to me since I would never be dumb enough to testify against the mafia, especially the boss. Sorry, I don't recall. I just can't remember where I was that day your honor.
OK, lets say I do testify and this scenario plays out, I would call myself Vincent Barriano or The Guy To Soon Be At The Bottom Of Lake Erie Because I Ratted Out The Mob. It's a long name but it fits.

McLovin

Kathleen Jones
(Her and Alyssa Cunningham can get together in downtown Cleveland and celebrate being the only two people to answer who weren't hunted down and chopped to pieces within 3 days.)

I. M. Screwed

woouw nice story il go with vicky cristina ! just like the movie umm because it sounds dangerous but starting a new life at cleveland i guess.. and 4 a guy ray

Heh. Cynthia Iris Isabella Penelope Squarepants.

Mr. BIGFAT RAT

Ma Fia Boss

(Administrative Comment: The seventh answer got me thinking, and I'm trying to decide how meeting new people would go down if you didn't have a name...

Scenario 1:
Johnson: Hello there, my name's Johnson.
You: That's nice.
*Johnson walks away, frustrated with your apparent lack of manners and social skills*

Scenario 2:
Johnson: Hello there, my name's Johnson.
You: Nice to meet you. I don't have a name.
Johnson: Uh huh...
*Johnson still walks away, but this time he does so backwards while giving you the same look he would have given you if you'd just claimed to be a talking cactus*

Either way, you're not making any new friends.)