Feb. 24: Rejected Question Day!

In the course of creating and seeking answers to these challenging questions, you occasionally get one that just doesn't work. For whatever reason, responses to some questions are either lacking in quantity or just have a bunch of lame answers. Maybe the question was too long or not interesting enough or maybe people just aren't as creative as I give them credit for. Whatever the reason, the poor showing on these questions means you get three new questions today. That's right, three! You're so lucky... Enjoy this month's rejected questions!

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Question #1 (I got a little carried away with this one.)

You're walking down the street one day when from a nearby third story window you hear a rather large amount of cursing followed quickly by the slamming of a window. You look up just in time to have a large, heavy manila envelope smack you right in the face. After you recover consciousness, you decide not to pursue the matter further (you fear confrontation). You do, however, open the manila envelope to see what could be in it to make it heavy enough to knock you out. It's apparently a novel. It details the story of Jimmy Callahan, a rogue inspector for the Food and Drug Administration. Jimmy is hot on the trail of Viktor Borsch, a Russian mobster who, it had been discovered, has begun circulating some bad cantalopes in the New York City market. Most of the plot consists of Jimmy taking out many of Borsch's much less important cronies, which gets pretty boring after a while. However, after 7 hours of reading, you finally get to the part you've been waiting for. Jimmy arrives at the abondoned K-Mart that is Borsch's hideout. This will be the final showdown. He walks in, finding Borsch waiting for him, surrounded by 15 henchmen armed with bad cantalopes and toxic peanut butter. Unfortunately, the story stops there. Clearly the person who hit you with the novel was a frustrated writer, angry at what they viewed as a pathetic attempt to create a book. But you like it, so you decide to finish it for them, publish it, make millions of dollars, and retire to Costa Rica. All you have to do is conclude it. It should be noted that in chapter 32 Jimmy stated that he doesn't believe in the use of firearms. So, Mr./Ms. author, how does the story end?

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Yahoo! Answers:

You're going to be mauled by a vicious army of lobsters!
*Source*: I didn't read the incredibly long paragraph, sorry

Your dog runs you over with the car you got him for his birthday.

Victoria Principal walks into the shower and finds Jimmy there.
"Good morning!" Jimmy says, smiling his best Dallas smile, because that's where he's from.
"Oh, Jimmy!" Victoria says. "I just had the craziest dream! You were about to be wasted by a bunch of Russian thugs in an abandoned K-Mart!"
"Really?" Jimmy replies. "Well obviously, it was just a dream, because here I am, and I'm alive and well."
"Yes, you are," she says. "But it all seemed so...so real."
The End

its too much to read

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Question #2 (A riddle.)

If the South African wallabe moves at a speed of 16.7 kilometers per hour and the square root of yellow is the west coast of Finland, what does a chupacabra do for fun on a Thursday night?

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easy, he goes on yahoo answers and answers questins about his brethrin
*Source*: well.....ima chupacabra

idk
(He found this answer to be so awesome that he cited himself as the source.)

Smoke a bunch of pot then satisfy his munchies with some nice fresh goat.
*Source*: He's my dealer :p

eat corn

goes to china to play real checkers ....

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Question #3 (It's really a shame this didn't get a better response...)

You're on a hike in the mountains of Peru when you get lost. You wander for 3 days only to find yourself deeper in the hills and even more lost than you were before. At the end of the 3rd day you find yourself a cave in which to spend the night. Due to water deprivation, you have been hallucinating rather vividly. So far you've seen a large bottle of Aquifina, a talking pineapple, and Barack Obama dancing with a giant chicken. While you're in the cave you see the most bizarre and terrifying creature you've ever laid eyes on. Assuming it's a hallucination, you are somewhat amused at what your brain can produce. But it's not a hallucination, it's the rare and evil Peruvian Cat Monkey, about to devour you. What does it look like?

jerry springer on steriods : )

mankey

i read this story to my girlfriend over the phone and we both started laughing!
(If you're reading questions from Yahoo Answers to your girlfriend over the phone it's time to hang up.)

It's actually a mankey.
http://www.silalb.com/Giochi/Pokemon/Pok...
Which, if you think about it, does look sort of like a cat crossed with a monkey. from peru. lol

hell

a cat monkey???

omg im not reading that..now i just dont care

My lunch.

Dick Cheney

looks a little like curious george..