Feb. 27: Including Chuck Norris in some capacity is apparently a sure fire way to get a question answered.

Would you rather be killed by Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?

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Yahoo! Answers:

jack bauer is the new chuck norris

I want Jack to torture me first and yell "DAMN IT" and Son of a -----!"

chuck norris because the second im touched by him, i die an instantaneous death.

I would rather kill them both.
(Ha, good luck with that. You may last 6 seconds. Unless of course you're Jason Bourne, in which case you would still get owned, but you may put up a better fight.)

Chuck Norris. Bauer would torture me and take pleasure in it. Norris would kill me quickly.

Chuck Norris already looks like a child molester
(I tried for a long time to justify this as a vote for Chuck, but I can in no way construe this to be an answer to the question at hand.)

iff i die i wouldnt care

Jack Bauer

Jack Bauer

Chuck Norris, he'd make it quick. Not to mention he's a real person. Kind of hard to get killed by a fictional character.
(Unless it's Jack Bauer. God help us if he was real. God help us all...)

Both are poncey woofters
(For those of us who aren't British: A man is 'poncey' if he is a bit feminine but not quite gay. A 'woofter' is a gay man. So apparently this person is making the claim that they are both quasi-gay homosexuals.
Stupid British...)

Chuck Norris I heard he has his signature on the bottom of his boot so when I get roundhouse kicked in the face, at least I got his autograph.
*Source*: You've been... THUNDERSTRUCK!

i think i'll just kill myself if i see this question again....
(You have no idea how strong the temptation was to immediately post this again.)

im superman, only chuck noris round house kicks can kill me, other guy cant.

Chuck Norris

jack bauer because it would be less painful than by the hands of Chuck
(Not so sure about that one...)

chuck norris.....at least i just have to go through one and only one R.H.K.

Chuck Norris of course. a quick roundhouse kick to the face and boom dead. thats quite a way to go.

(OK, I realize it is a powerful asset when in the hands of Chuck Norris, but I think we're beginning to give the roundhouse kick a little too much credit.)

Chuck of course.

Clint Eastwood

Final Talley:

Chuck Norris: 8
People Who Sucked At Life and Didn't Answer the Question: 7
Jack Bauer: 4
Clint Eastwood: 1