Feb. 23: I tell you what, Stan, if Lenny hadn't been there, well, I wouldn't be talking to you today...

You're on the subway when you step on the wrong guy's foot. He begins shouting obscenities and glaring at you, so you figure you're about to take a shot to the face. However, in an unexpected turn of events, he challenges you to a subway duel, complete with weapons. Not wanting to seem like a coward in front of the other passengers, you accept. Unfortunately, you overlooked the fact that he is in possession of the only real weapon, a rather intimidating knife. Weapons at your disposal include the following: an old lady's purse containing nothing but 6 pounds of Jolly Ranchers, a tube sock, and, for some reason, a small iguana named Lenny. How do you survive and win the duel?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Take the jolly Ranchers (whatever they are ) put them in the tube sock and bash him over the head.
(I'm sorry, but who doesn't know what a Jolly Rancher is?)

Throw a bunch of unopened mega sized ENERGY DRINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feed the iguana the Jolly Ranchers and squeeze its stomach using it as a sort of Jolly Rancher machine gun and then while he is being barraged by the endless wave of candy I use the purse and tubesock to form a zipline from the bar above that people hang onto and slide into the guy with my leg out in prime position to hit him in the nads and disarm him.
*Source*: I did it the other day

distract him with Lenny the iguana while filling the tube sock with jolly ranchers and hit him in the head BAM! and ur a bad ***

by calling 911.........

throw Lenny at your enemy. While hes distracted fill you tube sock with as many jolly ranchers as you can. Attack him with the tube sock like its a flail. Go for the head to knock him out. Congratulations! YOU WIN!!!!1 strip him of all his valuables. in a few weeks, the salmonella from lenny the iguana kills you foe.

By not giving a crap what the other passengers think and not accepting the duel. Otherwise I would definitely use the purse to block the knife and then knock the guy out with it. But then I'd buy the lady a new purse.

Plan A - Dodge the Knife then knock him out with the 6 lbs of jolly ranchers
Plan B - Throw the old lady at him...lol...

i get my kid to kick his ***
(Have you no honor, sir?)

I go buy a five dollar footlong and we split it.

Yell RAPE. Hahhhaah, kidding.

step on the right guys foot

Run,......FAST.....!!

i... fill the sock with the candies and hit him with it? and i woldn't hurt the poor iguana :) or maybe he's so frightened of them i place the iguana on his shoulder... and he faints!! I WIN! :D

id use the purse handles to wrap around his arm and neck and fight him using distance. Surprisingly ive hit someone with a purse before cause I pulled it off this random girl and just started swinging i wasntnt thinking straight haha.
(This was a dude.)

interest him in a jolly rancher before the duel begins, while he's distracted put them all in the sock and use it as a mace. when he's done with putting the rancher in his mouth, throw Lenny on him and pray to God he's afraid of those things. Start bashing him with the 6 pound sock.

I yell rape and then while he's looking away, fill the sock with jolly ranchers and bash him in the face! Then, I'll sick the iguana on him, and make a run for it!

oh the purse for sure... throw the jolly ranchers at the attackers eyes... then set the iguana on the floor to maybe scare him off? then confuse him with the tube sock throw and then finish with whacking him across the face with the purse. XD

throw a jolly rancher at his temple

tell him youll trade all that stuff for the knife if hes weird enough to start a duel and yell stupid obscenities..then im sure hell like the lizard and the 6 lbs of jolly rachers..i dunno about the tube sock tho..haha

attack him before you pick your weapon go for the legs

ah hehe ...sorry

*Source*: *apologetic*
(..................wha?........I don't.............*head explodes*)

No problem. I never go anywhere without my axe.

Scream "OH MY GOD WHAT THE ---- IS THAT?!" and point behind him. Then while everyone everyone was looking the other way I'd steal the Jolly Ranchers and make a run for it. Then when he inevitably catches up with me, I'll offer him some jolly ranchers on the condition that he forgives me.

It was easy really. I fed Lenny some of the Jolly Ranchers, he had a strange reaction that you would probably see in some kind of superhero movie and went all radioactive and superstrengthy... He was just about to jump up and beat the guy who challenged me up (because iguanas love me.. naturally) But then the old grandma lady leaped up (she'd be sleeping) because she discovered her super magical Jolly Ranchers had been stolen. Obviously, she was a black belt (anyone who owns magical fruit flavored hard candies is a master in martial arts) and started knocking everyone out with this sick pressure point thingy so that no one could realize that she was a secret agent and then she realized that the guy who challenged me had been the evil guy she was looking for and he had just planted a bomb with his cohort under a bench. The duel was just a distraction... duh. And she went all kung-fu on them. After they were passed she turned them in to the FBI or wherever. Then she took me and Lenny out to Baskin Robins.
ta da

(Administrative Comment: The most popular answer by far was putting the Jolly Ranchers in the sock and beating the guy with it. But I have to ask... the guy's about to come after you with a knife...

Why are you taking the time to put hundreds of Jolly Ranchers into a sock when they came conveniently in a much larger purse?

Seems like a foolish waste of time to me...)