That's right, everyone, the wheels are turning again and we are about to get rolling once more. That little hiatus was much needed and, while it isn't quite over yet, we will soon be back up with an equal or lesser level of quality than before. I have prepared a treat for you to celebrate the preparations for the OCY return. Now, I know at the end it says questions will be back Tuesday. I have decided to make that a week from Tuesday instead. I need to leave this one up for a little while. But until that next question comes up, enjoy our second audio blog!
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
Hiatus
Again I'm afraid I have nothing for you. In fact, until further notice, the stupid questions will have to be postponed. If you'll keep checking back when Saturdays roll around, you will eventually find that we're up and running again. Until then, well you'll just have to find something else to waste your time on.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sorry
I regret to inform you that, due to circumstances out of my control, there will be no stupid questions this week. I may make up for it. I may not. Check back in on Saturday to see.
And now ladies and gentlemen, John West salmon:
And now ladies and gentlemen, John West salmon:
Friday, July 24, 2009
July 25: You are a very hard sleeper.
You wake up one morning to find that you were robbed during the night. Among the missing items, two are extremely problematic: your entire wardrobe (that's every article of clothing you own) and your cell phone (your only telephone). And what you sleep in, well... let's just say going outside could be awkward. Very, very awkward. You live alone. What do you do?
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Yahoo! Answers:
I'd put a towel on and drive to my friend's house.
make clothes out of toilet paper and paper towel =]
(You better hope it's not raining.)
um. grab a towel?
(That's it? Seem's like you'd want to do a little more than that.)
Looks like I have to go all natural.
I would ring every doorbell on my floor, then lay in the middle of the floor... See what happens then.
free ball it to town and go shopping!!
Go outside in a blanket, and walk to my best friends house, because I can do that.
And take her clothes. Provided they fit, which I doubt.
Make a toga from a sheet and go grab some clothes from my neighbors.
i go file a police report...i sleep naked so i suppose ill just grab my shower curtain and wrap that around me for the time being.
(Shower curtain... interesting choice. I don't know that the police station would be my first stop when wearing my bathroom.)
call a friend and ask to borrow clothes,file a police report. take a shower, then go shopping for new clothes and a cell phone
(OK, you even said you'd go get a new phone (clearly indicated to be your only one), and yet you still plan to call someone. I'm going to pretend you planned on using skype or something like that so my faith in the human race doesn't sink any lower.)
erm.... I would take a towel or blanket or something and go to my neighbors, that i trust.
hahahah
(That's a good call not going to your neighbors who you don't trust. Solid decision making on display right here.)
Find something in the house and make temporary clothing out of it.
Wrap myself up in a towel go to the thrift shop and buy me some cheap clothes to wear for the day, then find the mother ****** who took my **** and cut [various parts of the male or female anatomy] off >.
order clothes on jcpenny.com and have clothes shiped and stay inside til they come
(Not exactly efficient, but a good idea. Hope you didn't have anywhere to go for 2-3 business days.)
i'd pull out my sewing machine, stip my bed of it's sheets, then make myself a dress. then i'd drive to the police station and find my clothes!
(Now that's doing this thing right.)
go next door in a blanket, use the phone THERE, then maybe call a couple of friends to pick you up. then kill the robber. how embarrassing.
(Call a couple of friends to pick you up? I don't get it, you just walked next door...)
I'd be really happy because then I i could get new clothes. I would try to cover myself with a blanket and walk to my neighbors house or the nearest pay-phone.Caught you now, didn't I?
make kind of like an Indian sarong out of a sheet or a towel and put a bindy on my head and go shopping ;D
Make breakfast. Get some coffee in me, and walk to the neighbors in a towel. Ask to borrow the phone after a humorous exchange about what happened, and then see if I can borrow some clothes, and go buy some new ones. That would be funny... unless it really happened. lol
(Good to see you aren't too worked up about it.)
Check the security cameras to plot revenge on the culprit. Then email a friend and explain what happened and ask him to bring me some clothes.. then I would go to a store and buy more clothes, after that its all revenge planning....
ski mask.. check
latex gloves.. check..
poncho.. check...
lime.. check..
plastic bags.. check..
shovel.. check..
full magazine.. check..
knock to the neighbors wall, ask for clothes.
(That would be an interesting conversation to have through a wall. Especially if you didn't live in an apartment.)
Well i would email my friend to bring me clothes cause you never said that they stole my laptop.
(I did not. A small oversight on my part.)
First id b very angry, then i would walk to neighbors house and ask for help....
(Unless you missed a step somewhere in there, you and your neighbors are quite close...)
Order one pair of clothes online and have them shipped OVERNIGHT....
Eaaaaasy!
1- Make sure to make a Police Case, and report Excessive Prices on 'each item' stolen.
2- Call the Homeowners insurance with the police case number on record. There will be a deductible, but it will be covered with the 'excessive amounts".
3- Yiiiippeeeee! Go shopping for an all new wardrobe with the insurance money!
4- Save some money to change all locks in the house, and in your bedroom.
5- Never, but 'ever', lose 'the devastating' look on you... of course, because of the great trauma you just went through...
(6 - Get convicted of insurance fraud.)
Email mys friends and have them pick something up 4 me
i...
would be naked
(Possibly, yes.)
Take some of sister's
(What part of 'you live alone' did you not understand?)
ummm be naked idk
call a friend and tell him to bring some extra clothes over so you can change into them.then if you have some money then shop til you drop make sure if you have style or want to change your wardrobe this is the time to do it.
(You - have - no - phone. Pay attention!)
Put on my girlfriends mini skirt and walk out. With my hair even being a guy i probably look pretty hot
(I will ignore the apparent contradictions presented by your girlfriend's skirt being available to you, as the mental pictures you have forced into my head are both distracting and disturbing.)
Don't go outside unless to pick leaves. That's what Adam & Eve used.
Be naked! That's what GO D would've wanted!
use a towel or a blanket
duhhh!!
haaha
That's actually an interesting question! I guess I would throw lots of blankets on around me to cover my parts that need to be covered and run to my neighbors house to use THEIR phone or borrow clothes.
Just thinking seriously.
(Thank you for explaining the purpose of the blankets. We were all very confused.)
gladwrap anyone?
i wear my bed sheet . cut a big hole in its center and put my head in and wear it as a caftan.
(I'm very impressed with the creative outfits people are forming out of bed sheets.)
Assuming that my computer was also stolen, and that there was no way to contact outside help electronically, I would take a sheet off my bed and wrap myself with it, and then go to to the nearest neighbor's house to call the police and also to arrange for clothing to be brought to me, while perhaps borrowing some from the neighbor.
It is also possible that someone would eventually come over, perhaps the mailman, and I could then get help through them.
(Get help through the mailman, huh? Hopefully you're a little more tactful than this...)
wait till the mail man came knock him out take his clothes his phone and his wallet max out his credit card buying clothes a phone a new computer and eat some breakfast then come back home find out where the mailman lives drop him off then when he wakes up hell think it was a dream
(One minute he's at work, next minute he's lying on a his front porch stark naked with a lump on his noggin. That's one crazy dream.)
(Administrative Comment: I briefly contemplated trying to find a way to eliminate the possibility of coverage. But that would have made the question way too long. And I'm not sure how the bed sheet would be stolen.)
(Administrative Comment #2: Perhaps it is the creativity drought I've been in lately with these questions, but I think this is easily the best one we've seen in a while. Don't get used to it.)
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Yahoo! Answers:
I'd put a towel on and drive to my friend's house.
make clothes out of toilet paper and paper towel =]
(You better hope it's not raining.)
um. grab a towel?
(That's it? Seem's like you'd want to do a little more than that.)
Looks like I have to go all natural.
I would ring every doorbell on my floor, then lay in the middle of the floor... See what happens then.
free ball it to town and go shopping!!
Go outside in a blanket, and walk to my best friends house, because I can do that.
And take her clothes. Provided they fit, which I doubt.
Make a toga from a sheet and go grab some clothes from my neighbors.
i go file a police report...i sleep naked so i suppose ill just grab my shower curtain and wrap that around me for the time being.
(Shower curtain... interesting choice. I don't know that the police station would be my first stop when wearing my bathroom.)
call a friend and ask to borrow clothes,file a police report. take a shower, then go shopping for new clothes and a cell phone
(OK, you even said you'd go get a new phone (clearly indicated to be your only one), and yet you still plan to call someone. I'm going to pretend you planned on using skype or something like that so my faith in the human race doesn't sink any lower.)
erm.... I would take a towel or blanket or something and go to my neighbors, that i trust.
hahahah
(That's a good call not going to your neighbors who you don't trust. Solid decision making on display right here.)
Find something in the house and make temporary clothing out of it.
Wrap myself up in a towel go to the thrift shop and buy me some cheap clothes to wear for the day, then find the mother ****** who took my **** and cut [various parts of the male or female anatomy] off >.
order clothes on jcpenny.com and have clothes shiped and stay inside til they come
(Not exactly efficient, but a good idea. Hope you didn't have anywhere to go for 2-3 business days.)
i'd pull out my sewing machine, stip my bed of it's sheets, then make myself a dress. then i'd drive to the police station and find my clothes!
(Now that's doing this thing right.)
go next door in a blanket, use the phone THERE, then maybe call a couple of friends to pick you up. then kill the robber. how embarrassing.
(Call a couple of friends to pick you up? I don't get it, you just walked next door...)
I'd be really happy because then I i could get new clothes. I would try to cover myself with a blanket and walk to my neighbors house or the nearest pay-phone.Caught you now, didn't I?
make kind of like an Indian sarong out of a sheet or a towel and put a bindy on my head and go shopping ;D
Make breakfast. Get some coffee in me, and walk to the neighbors in a towel. Ask to borrow the phone after a humorous exchange about what happened, and then see if I can borrow some clothes, and go buy some new ones. That would be funny... unless it really happened. lol
(Good to see you aren't too worked up about it.)
Check the security cameras to plot revenge on the culprit. Then email a friend and explain what happened and ask him to bring me some clothes.. then I would go to a store and buy more clothes, after that its all revenge planning....
ski mask.. check
latex gloves.. check..
poncho.. check...
lime.. check..
plastic bags.. check..
shovel.. check..
full magazine.. check..
knock to the neighbors wall, ask for clothes.
(That would be an interesting conversation to have through a wall. Especially if you didn't live in an apartment.)
Well i would email my friend to bring me clothes cause you never said that they stole my laptop.
(I did not. A small oversight on my part.)
First id b very angry, then i would walk to neighbors house and ask for help....
(Unless you missed a step somewhere in there, you and your neighbors are quite close...)
Order one pair of clothes online and have them shipped OVERNIGHT....
Eaaaaasy!
1- Make sure to make a Police Case, and report Excessive Prices on 'each item' stolen.
2- Call the Homeowners insurance with the police case number on record. There will be a deductible, but it will be covered with the 'excessive amounts".
3- Yiiiippeeeee! Go shopping for an all new wardrobe with the insurance money!
4- Save some money to change all locks in the house, and in your bedroom.
5- Never, but 'ever', lose 'the devastating' look on you... of course, because of the great trauma you just went through...
(6 - Get convicted of insurance fraud.)
Email mys friends and have them pick something up 4 me
i...
would be naked
(Possibly, yes.)
Take some of sister's
(What part of 'you live alone' did you not understand?)
ummm be naked idk
call a friend and tell him to bring some extra clothes over so you can change into them.then if you have some money then shop til you drop make sure if you have style or want to change your wardrobe this is the time to do it.
(You - have - no - phone. Pay attention!)
Put on my girlfriends mini skirt and walk out. With my hair even being a guy i probably look pretty hot
(I will ignore the apparent contradictions presented by your girlfriend's skirt being available to you, as the mental pictures you have forced into my head are both distracting and disturbing.)
Don't go outside unless to pick leaves. That's what Adam & Eve used.
Be naked! That's what GO D would've wanted!
use a towel or a blanket
duhhh!!
haaha
That's actually an interesting question! I guess I would throw lots of blankets on around me to cover my parts that need to be covered and run to my neighbors house to use THEIR phone or borrow clothes.
Just thinking seriously.
(Thank you for explaining the purpose of the blankets. We were all very confused.)
gladwrap anyone?
i wear my bed sheet . cut a big hole in its center and put my head in and wear it as a caftan.
(I'm very impressed with the creative outfits people are forming out of bed sheets.)
Assuming that my computer was also stolen, and that there was no way to contact outside help electronically, I would take a sheet off my bed and wrap myself with it, and then go to to the nearest neighbor's house to call the police and also to arrange for clothing to be brought to me, while perhaps borrowing some from the neighbor.
It is also possible that someone would eventually come over, perhaps the mailman, and I could then get help through them.
(Get help through the mailman, huh? Hopefully you're a little more tactful than this...)
wait till the mail man came knock him out take his clothes his phone and his wallet max out his credit card buying clothes a phone a new computer and eat some breakfast then come back home find out where the mailman lives drop him off then when he wakes up hell think it was a dream
(One minute he's at work, next minute he's lying on a his front porch stark naked with a lump on his noggin. That's one crazy dream.)
(Administrative Comment: I briefly contemplated trying to find a way to eliminate the possibility of coverage. But that would have made the question way too long. And I'm not sure how the bed sheet would be stolen.)
(Administrative Comment #2: Perhaps it is the creativity drought I've been in lately with these questions, but I think this is easily the best one we've seen in a while. Don't get used to it.)
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
July 23: There are parts of this question that seem awfully familiar...
You're walking down the street when a stranger offers you some cheesecake from his coat pocket. You are tempted, but refuse due to your religous beliefs. The stranger gets really offended and starts chasing you with an axe. The ordeal turns into a Jason Bourne style rooftop to rooftop chase and after one particularly long jump you break your leg. The axe murderer is close. You have two hopes of survival and do some quick math. If you try to get up and run you have a 10% chance of survival, but this will be excruciatingly painful due to your affliction. Permanent damage is likely. If you stay and attempt to fight back without moving, your chances are 7.3%. What do you do?
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Yahoo! Answers:
I would just stand there and allow him/her to kill me...... However i would request that he/she made my death extra slow and painful!
(Well that doesn't make much sense. But then, when do we ever expect otherwise here?)
i will say sorry and ask the stranger for the cheese cake. there will be 50% of survival chance. he may kill me 50% chance. or give the cake and leave me alone another 50%. and i will eat it. and ask God to forgive me [if I shouldn't have eaten it for religious beliefs. God will forgive at this crucial moment].
I'd stay and fight back because he is mentally deranged!
I'd make sure I am on the edge of the roof and when he jumps onto my roof I would stop him from landing then he falls to his death! Or if he was on the same roof as me I'd edge him over to the side of the roof, then duck down when he swings the axe so he looses his balance and falls off the roof to his death!
There is no escape for the axe murderer if he is trying to kill me! lol!
(None of those things were options.)
I'll say,"I love cheesecakes, really." or I'll kick him in the groin and shove the axe in his ***.
(Um... ouch.)
desert lent
can't get it exactly
(It took me forever to figure this one out. I kept looking at that going, "What does the desert have to do with anything?" I mean, people make some pretty big topical leaps in their answers, but usually there is some noticeable connection. And then I realized: "Oh... He meant dessert!" I should have known from his second line there that something like that had happened.)
axe him to stop >> lol
(I really hope he kills you.)
Umm let's see...
I see a stranger trying to offer me something. Run.
Problem solved.
(But you see, you've already refused. That stuff I described wasn't theoretical. It already happened. So unless you have a time machine, you better think of something quick.)
wheres the other choices? you mean i cant talk my way out of it. Geeze, i guess i would run.
(No. Talking doesn't work. Axe murderers are very irrational people. Especially when they possess cheesecake.)
I would just eat the damn cheesecake and then go antiquing with him.
(Your mother never taught you not to go antiquing with strangers?)
run at lest i'll be alive to see another day even if i cant walk
(That's not what the odds say.)
call the police or shoot him with my gun or eat his cheese cake
(If you had a gun, don't you think I would have mentioned it? I mean, that would make things a lot easier.)
i take the damn cheesecake then pretend to eat it but when he walsk away i put it in my pocket unti i find a trashcan
I would probably stick and fight since im pretty strong so it will probably raise my chances of beating him by atleast.. o lets see 22.3547% according to my calculations. And I wouldnt have to deal with the excruciatinging pain from running.
(Your calculation's off. You forgot to account for the fact that your leg is broken, so the decimal point is in the wrong place. It's .223547%. It is in these critical times when you will regret ever asking the question "When am I ever going to use this crap?" Kids, stay in school.)
eat the cheesecake
(God is going to strike you cheesecake-eating fools down.)
Wake up. It's only a dream?
(I'm getting real tired of this answer.)
Yikes ! Someone already gave the answer, although I would have said:
EAT THE CHEESECAKE, POCKET LINT AND ALL
(That is both blasphemous and unsanitary.)
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Yahoo! Answers:
I would just stand there and allow him/her to kill me...... However i would request that he/she made my death extra slow and painful!
(Well that doesn't make much sense. But then, when do we ever expect otherwise here?)
i will say sorry and ask the stranger for the cheese cake. there will be 50% of survival chance. he may kill me 50% chance. or give the cake and leave me alone another 50%. and i will eat it. and ask God to forgive me [if I shouldn't have eaten it for religious beliefs. God will forgive at this crucial moment].
I'd stay and fight back because he is mentally deranged!
I'd make sure I am on the edge of the roof and when he jumps onto my roof I would stop him from landing then he falls to his death! Or if he was on the same roof as me I'd edge him over to the side of the roof, then duck down when he swings the axe so he looses his balance and falls off the roof to his death!
There is no escape for the axe murderer if he is trying to kill me! lol!
(None of those things were options.)
I'll say,"I love cheesecakes, really." or I'll kick him in the groin and shove the axe in his ***.
(Um... ouch.)
desert lent
can't get it exactly
(It took me forever to figure this one out. I kept looking at that going, "What does the desert have to do with anything?" I mean, people make some pretty big topical leaps in their answers, but usually there is some noticeable connection. And then I realized: "Oh... He meant dessert!" I should have known from his second line there that something like that had happened.)
axe him to stop >> lol
(I really hope he kills you.)
Umm let's see...
I see a stranger trying to offer me something. Run.
Problem solved.
(But you see, you've already refused. That stuff I described wasn't theoretical. It already happened. So unless you have a time machine, you better think of something quick.)
wheres the other choices? you mean i cant talk my way out of it. Geeze, i guess i would run.
(No. Talking doesn't work. Axe murderers are very irrational people. Especially when they possess cheesecake.)
I would just eat the damn cheesecake and then go antiquing with him.
(Your mother never taught you not to go antiquing with strangers?)
run at lest i'll be alive to see another day even if i cant walk
(That's not what the odds say.)
call the police or shoot him with my gun or eat his cheese cake
(If you had a gun, don't you think I would have mentioned it? I mean, that would make things a lot easier.)
i take the damn cheesecake then pretend to eat it but when he walsk away i put it in my pocket unti i find a trashcan
I would probably stick and fight since im pretty strong so it will probably raise my chances of beating him by atleast.. o lets see 22.3547% according to my calculations. And I wouldnt have to deal with the excruciatinging pain from running.
(Your calculation's off. You forgot to account for the fact that your leg is broken, so the decimal point is in the wrong place. It's .223547%. It is in these critical times when you will regret ever asking the question "When am I ever going to use this crap?" Kids, stay in school.)
eat the cheesecake
(God is going to strike you cheesecake-eating fools down.)
Wake up. It's only a dream?
(I'm getting real tired of this answer.)
Yikes ! Someone already gave the answer, although I would have said:
EAT THE CHEESECAKE, POCKET LINT AND ALL
(That is both blasphemous and unsanitary.)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Don't ask me why the crocodile's there. I don't know.
You are the newest jester in the king's court. It's not really a position you wanted, but through a combination of too much credit card debt and some bad luck, here you are. Here's the problem: the king wants to laugh, but he's tired of the standard joke teller. The last guy was a stand-up jester and he was fed to a wild boar. So you have to take a different approach, but you haven't decided what it would be when you find yourself in front of the king. Looking around you see a deck of cards, a blow dryer, and an untrained crocodile on a leash. You don't have to use these things, but they are there. How do you make the king laugh and escape a horrible death?
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Yahoo! Answers:
[The first answer is the guy who posted the Potter Puppet Pals link. I know, I said you wouldn't see this question, but I had a change of heart brought on mainly by a lack of creativity and the desire to go to bed.]
Point a gun to his head and say "Laugh you sonofa----- or else I'll fa king shoot!"
(I almost didn't even include this one, but his clever use of the word 'king' was too good to pass up.)
[Do something obscene] and dance.
(I don't think you want to know what it was.)
I have no idea.
(You are a waste of precious oxygen.)
i will i think use all these things. i will blow the cards one by one into the crocodile's mouth, with a bad aim at it . the king will laugh seeing the crocodile running after each card and missing some and eating some. i will also make it a game of it by asking the courtiers to count how many cards went into the crocodile's mouth. i hope the king will laugh at this
(Wild boar attack!)
Haha hop into the croc's mouth! its a lot better then the 'horrible death' the king would bring to me right? and the king would either save me or watch and either way he laughs!
Everyone enjoys my pain.
*sweating*
Knock knock
*kings bored voice*: Whos there?
Lettuce
king: lettuce who (*bored voice*)
Lettuce in, were cold out h-here...he he ha ha ha ha!
...
ARGHGHHA! OMG! THE PAIN! ARGH! THE PPAAAINN!
(I'm glad you've accepted your fate.)
i would blow the dryer in the croc's face, to make him blind.... then, i would make him pick a card.
Throw The Blow Dryer At The Crocodile Really Hard Then Throw The Cards Above My Head So They Go Everywhere And Laugh. XD
(Why Do You Feel The Need To Capitalize Every Word?)
Crap I'm no joker so I'd probably get fed to the gator!
(You get fed to the boar. Geez... pay attention.)
I'd fight the crocodile like in this fight scene.
(That was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.)
Feed someone to the croc and say "crikey, he's a hungry lil bugger!"
is the king ticklish?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
[The first answer is the guy who posted the Potter Puppet Pals link. I know, I said you wouldn't see this question, but I had a change of heart brought on mainly by a lack of creativity and the desire to go to bed.]
Point a gun to his head and say "Laugh you sonofa----- or else I'll fa king shoot!"
(I almost didn't even include this one, but his clever use of the word 'king' was too good to pass up.)
[Do something obscene] and dance.
(I don't think you want to know what it was.)
I have no idea.
(You are a waste of precious oxygen.)
i will i think use all these things. i will blow the cards one by one into the crocodile's mouth, with a bad aim at it . the king will laugh seeing the crocodile running after each card and missing some and eating some. i will also make it a game of it by asking the courtiers to count how many cards went into the crocodile's mouth. i hope the king will laugh at this
(Wild boar attack!)
Haha hop into the croc's mouth! its a lot better then the 'horrible death' the king would bring to me right? and the king would either save me or watch and either way he laughs!
Everyone enjoys my pain.
*sweating*
Knock knock
*kings bored voice*: Whos there?
Lettuce
king: lettuce who (*bored voice*)
Lettuce in, were cold out h-here...he he ha ha ha ha!
...
ARGHGHHA! OMG! THE PAIN! ARGH! THE PPAAAINN!
(I'm glad you've accepted your fate.)
i would blow the dryer in the croc's face, to make him blind.... then, i would make him pick a card.
Throw The Blow Dryer At The Crocodile Really Hard Then Throw The Cards Above My Head So They Go Everywhere And Laugh. XD
(Why Do You Feel The Need To Capitalize Every Word?)
Crap I'm no joker so I'd probably get fed to the gator!
(You get fed to the boar. Geez... pay attention.)
I'd fight the crocodile like in this fight scene.
(That was one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.)
Feed someone to the croc and say "crikey, he's a hungry lil bugger!"
is the king ticklish?
Friday, July 17, 2009
July 18: For a site that so many people visit, this sure does happen to me a lot...
Well, I logged onto Yahoo and put up a couple questions, and not two minutes later did the blasted thing go down. Which of course means that I can't do a whole lot today. However, before YA crashed on me, one guy submitted an answer to the question (which you'll probably never see as it was pretty lame). This answer provided me with something to show you to keep you a step under mildly entertained. There's like a 99% chance that you've seen these before, but I'm afraid it's all I've got. I laugh every time I see these, so maybe you can find the same joy in them.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
July 16: Serves you right for stealing the hat from that snowman you jerk.
You are a magician in the middle of a show and you've come to the part where you pull a rabbit out of your hat. You've done this a thousand times, so you've gotten a little careless as time has gone on, and this time you pull out a rhino by accident. The rhino isn't happy about being stuffed into that tiny hat, so he's looking for blood. You must protect yourself and your audience (liability issues), but all you have to defend yourself are your feeble magic tricks. How do you subdue the rhino?
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Yahoo! Answers:
With your own strength you push the rhino back into the hat
(Now that would be a crowd pleaser. You don't see that one too often.)
use ecko unlimited sneakers! XD
(Ha, that's not as clever as you think it is.)
you hypnotize the rhino into falling asleep.
This has got to be the strangest question I've ever read on here. And that's saying a lot.
(Why, thank you. And I didn't even have any inspiration for it. Just sat down and made it up. Pretty good, huh?)
run.....run as fast as two legs could
Turn it into a cute kitten!!!!and try not tyo look scared
Interesting... point at the crowd and say 'EAT THEM!' Then vanish in a puff of smoke! It works for everyone
(Until the fuzz hunt you down. You can't get out of setting a rhino on hundreds of people.)
Im not sure ,confusing question .
Vot me for best answer please .
(I won't be votting you for anything. You didn't even answer the question, which wasn't that confusing by the way. I don't see what's so strange about accidentally producing an angry rhinoceros out of nowhere. These are the kinds of things you need to be prepared for.)
I would spontaneously combust. And hope that everyone does the same....its the only way.
(Make sure you have your nose spray handy!
http://onecuriousyahoo.blogspot.com/2009/02/nasal-sprayspontaneous-combustion.html)
I agree with buster [the guy that said this was the strangest question he'd ever seen] but I would use some invisibility trick maybe :)
(Won't work. You're overlooking the little known fact that rhinos can smell fear.)
do the disappearing act on the rhino. bet it'll be surprised to find itself charging at some sand dune in the Sahara desert!
It's easier to disappear yourself. Why tempt fate?
saw him in half
(You better hope there's not a PETA rep in the audience.)
(Administrative... Um, I Don't Know What You'd Call This: I leave you today with a little taste of what I will be doing this evening. Just thought I'd share. Rock on.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
With your own strength you push the rhino back into the hat
(Now that would be a crowd pleaser. You don't see that one too often.)
use ecko unlimited sneakers! XD
(Ha, that's not as clever as you think it is.)
you hypnotize the rhino into falling asleep.
This has got to be the strangest question I've ever read on here. And that's saying a lot.
(Why, thank you. And I didn't even have any inspiration for it. Just sat down and made it up. Pretty good, huh?)
run.....run as fast as two legs could
Turn it into a cute kitten!!!!and try not tyo look scared
Interesting... point at the crowd and say 'EAT THEM!' Then vanish in a puff of smoke! It works for everyone
(Until the fuzz hunt you down. You can't get out of setting a rhino on hundreds of people.)
Im not sure ,confusing question .
Vot me for best answer please .
(I won't be votting you for anything. You didn't even answer the question, which wasn't that confusing by the way. I don't see what's so strange about accidentally producing an angry rhinoceros out of nowhere. These are the kinds of things you need to be prepared for.)
I would spontaneously combust. And hope that everyone does the same....its the only way.
(Make sure you have your nose spray handy!
http://onecuriousyahoo.blogspot.com/2009/02/nasal-sprayspontaneous-combustion.html)
I agree with buster [the guy that said this was the strangest question he'd ever seen] but I would use some invisibility trick maybe :)
(Won't work. You're overlooking the little known fact that rhinos can smell fear.)
do the disappearing act on the rhino. bet it'll be surprised to find itself charging at some sand dune in the Sahara desert!
It's easier to disappear yourself. Why tempt fate?
saw him in half
(You better hope there's not a PETA rep in the audience.)
(Administrative... Um, I Don't Know What You'd Call This: I leave you today with a little taste of what I will be doing this evening. Just thought I'd share. Rock on.)
Monday, July 13, 2009
July 14: I would rather not know how this one got started.
What is your overall opinion of the congratulatory bum slap?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Hate it.
i have never been a fan of the congratulatory bum slap.
if it were up to me, i would put an end it.
(Put an END to it... Haha! Good one.)
It's only acceptable on the baseball diamond
what ever happened to a high five or one of those "jump into the air and hit my stomach with another persons stomach" type things.
Is the bum slap really necessary?
(Don't forget the fist bump. And, by the way, you are referring to the chest bump I believe. Chest bump. Not stomach bump. That would be both awkward and relatively painful.)
It has been abused too many times by the old creepy coach who married a manly looking woman just so he could say that he dont like it the other way.
(This doesn't make any sense, and yet I'm still disgusted. Odd...)
Haha, me and my friends used to do that in high school and say "good game, good hustle", even when there was no game and/or hustle to be had. We used to joke that it wasn't gay if you said that(of course, we all understand it never has to be gay. any same sex interaction could be construed as gay, thats all in intention. But we had a good laugh anyways.) All and all, id have to say its a bit silly.
(You didn't have many friends, did you?)
i think it's just an excuse for guys in tight pants to touch each other inappropriately and not be gay.
men slapping men on the bum...hmmmm...WRONG!
Always a little weird, especially on the baseball diamond. But my feelings are: open handed slap, ok. Any cupping of the hand, mr. face meet mr. dirt.
(Also, there must be no lingering. There's a fine line between celebratory bum slap and assault.)
eeeww
(Yeah, pretty much.)
people who like to slap butts?
Hahahahah
pervy second uncles, sweaty bosses, cocky boys...
DOWN WITH THE BUM SLAP
It's good for morale.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Hate it.
i have never been a fan of the congratulatory bum slap.
if it were up to me, i would put an end it.
(Put an END to it... Haha! Good one.)
It's only acceptable on the baseball diamond
what ever happened to a high five or one of those "jump into the air and hit my stomach with another persons stomach" type things.
Is the bum slap really necessary?
(Don't forget the fist bump. And, by the way, you are referring to the chest bump I believe. Chest bump. Not stomach bump. That would be both awkward and relatively painful.)
It has been abused too many times by the old creepy coach who married a manly looking woman just so he could say that he dont like it the other way.
(This doesn't make any sense, and yet I'm still disgusted. Odd...)
Haha, me and my friends used to do that in high school and say "good game, good hustle", even when there was no game and/or hustle to be had. We used to joke that it wasn't gay if you said that(of course, we all understand it never has to be gay. any same sex interaction could be construed as gay, thats all in intention. But we had a good laugh anyways.) All and all, id have to say its a bit silly.
(You didn't have many friends, did you?)
i think it's just an excuse for guys in tight pants to touch each other inappropriately and not be gay.
men slapping men on the bum...hmmmm...WRONG!
Always a little weird, especially on the baseball diamond. But my feelings are: open handed slap, ok. Any cupping of the hand, mr. face meet mr. dirt.
(Also, there must be no lingering. There's a fine line between celebratory bum slap and assault.)
eeeww
(Yeah, pretty much.)
people who like to slap butts?
Hahahahah
pervy second uncles, sweaty bosses, cocky boys...
DOWN WITH THE BUM SLAP
It's good for morale.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
July 10: The best part about this question is that it wasn't possible for me to offend anyone.
You have been abducted by a gaggle of Amish people. Why? I think only you know that. Whatever you did it must have been bad, because you now find yourself wrapped completely in duct tape and suspended from a barn ceiling by your toes with nothing below you but hay and cow manure. And one cow. How do you escape this fiendish Amish trap?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrowbOGZJwg
(This really isn't relevant as far as answering the question, but if you haven't seen this you should definitely check it out.)
Amish... duct tape... you must be dreaming... wake up and it'll all be over.
turn a flashlight on they scatter light cockroaches
let your toes rip off then fall into the manure then wiggle and eat your way out
(Eat your way out? That's disgusting.)
I would just relax.. Hey there Amish not Mujahideen........
Run faster than a horse-drawn carriage.
(That's going to be difficult as a duct tape mummy.)
Walk away.
The duck tape flew away. (Amish people don't use duct tape.)
(You should know by now that I like a bad joke as much as the next guy... But this is below even my level of tolerance.)
By exiting out of this site?
Moo.
(I'm sorry. For whatever reason, I felt that I had to do that.)
why? are you in it cause that would be kinda awesome.
i would teleport myself to the outside of the barn, (because i have super powers and you don't)
(I actually am. I didn't have a flashlight like the other guy suggested so I figured I'd give the laptop a shot. It's not working. And I'm starting to get a little light headed.)
Pretend to be possessed to scare them away.
Wriggle around to become sweaty and to loosen the duct-tape to eventually free yourself, fall into the hay, and run away.
Well, I Amish people dont have duct tape, so I cant answer that
(Actually, you could have, you just chose not to.)
(Administrative Comment: I'm certainly no expert on the Amish, so I don't know if they can use duct tape or not. But if they can't, what a sad life they lead...)
(Important Administrative Comment: I've had a slight change of heart. Instead of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, posts will appear Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday until normal format is resumed. But not this Saturday.)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrowbOGZJwg
(This really isn't relevant as far as answering the question, but if you haven't seen this you should definitely check it out.)
Amish... duct tape... you must be dreaming... wake up and it'll all be over.
turn a flashlight on they scatter light cockroaches
let your toes rip off then fall into the manure then wiggle and eat your way out
(Eat your way out? That's disgusting.)
I would just relax.. Hey there Amish not Mujahideen........
Run faster than a horse-drawn carriage.
(That's going to be difficult as a duct tape mummy.)
Walk away.
The duck tape flew away. (Amish people don't use duct tape.)
(You should know by now that I like a bad joke as much as the next guy... But this is below even my level of tolerance.)
By exiting out of this site?
Moo.
(I'm sorry. For whatever reason, I felt that I had to do that.)
why? are you in it cause that would be kinda awesome.
i would teleport myself to the outside of the barn, (because i have super powers and you don't)
(I actually am. I didn't have a flashlight like the other guy suggested so I figured I'd give the laptop a shot. It's not working. And I'm starting to get a little light headed.)
Pretend to be possessed to scare them away.
Wriggle around to become sweaty and to loosen the duct-tape to eventually free yourself, fall into the hay, and run away.
Well, I Amish people dont have duct tape, so I cant answer that
(Actually, you could have, you just chose not to.)
(Administrative Comment: I'm certainly no expert on the Amish, so I don't know if they can use duct tape or not. But if they can't, what a sad life they lead...)
(Important Administrative Comment: I've had a slight change of heart. Instead of Monday, Wednesday, Friday, posts will appear Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday until normal format is resumed. But not this Saturday.)
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
July 8: Please don't be too upset. I can't handle the guilt.
Dear faithful OCY masses,
SQotD is about to undergo a slight format change that you may not like all that much. You see, as we have surpassed 100 posts, it's become harder and harder to come up with fresh ideas and the overall quality, if we're being totally honest with ourselves, has decreased somewhat. Therefore, I have made the executive decision to go to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday format. That should take some of the creative pressure off while still maintaining a three question per week pace.
Now, I could make all kinds of excuses for having to go to this format. And I think I will:
- The economy's terrible and I can't afford to hire any more staff. And don't tell them I said this, but the people I have now... well, they aren't exactly giving 100%. They keep grumbling about wanting to be paid.
- I'm afraid exposing so much stupidity may provoke North Korea to nuke us. You know, national security and all that.
- To help the environment. And if you're wondering how this helps the environment, you can save both of us a lot of frustration and just let it go.
- I need more time to ward off the impending super-intelligent hamster attack.
- I have been recruited by the CIA to perform covert operations in Sweden on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'd tell you more, but then I would have to kill you, and then you wouldn't get to see any more questions. So you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.
- While its connection to typing is fuzzy at best, I secretly fear carpal tunnel syndrome.
So as you can see, my hands are tied. Now, this is by no means a permanent change. I expect to return to the weekday format sometime in early September, when I will be in a much better situation to be inspired. It may even go back before that. Who knows? But anyway, I'm sorry if this news proves to be devastating to you.
See you Friday.
Or, as the Swedes say:
Vi ses på fredag.
Watch CBS News Videos Online
SQotD is about to undergo a slight format change that you may not like all that much. You see, as we have surpassed 100 posts, it's become harder and harder to come up with fresh ideas and the overall quality, if we're being totally honest with ourselves, has decreased somewhat. Therefore, I have made the executive decision to go to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday format. That should take some of the creative pressure off while still maintaining a three question per week pace.
Now, I could make all kinds of excuses for having to go to this format. And I think I will:
- The economy's terrible and I can't afford to hire any more staff. And don't tell them I said this, but the people I have now... well, they aren't exactly giving 100%. They keep grumbling about wanting to be paid.
- I'm afraid exposing so much stupidity may provoke North Korea to nuke us. You know, national security and all that.
- To help the environment. And if you're wondering how this helps the environment, you can save both of us a lot of frustration and just let it go.
- I need more time to ward off the impending super-intelligent hamster attack.
- I have been recruited by the CIA to perform covert operations in Sweden on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'd tell you more, but then I would have to kill you, and then you wouldn't get to see any more questions. So you'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you.
- While its connection to typing is fuzzy at best, I secretly fear carpal tunnel syndrome.
So as you can see, my hands are tied. Now, this is by no means a permanent change. I expect to return to the weekday format sometime in early September, when I will be in a much better situation to be inspired. It may even go back before that. Who knows? But anyway, I'm sorry if this news proves to be devastating to you.
See you Friday.
Or, as the Swedes say:
Vi ses på fredag.
Watch CBS News Videos Online
Monday, July 6, 2009
July 7: It's another Rejected Question Day! Hooray!
It's been a while since I've given you the pleasure of experiencing some of the sub par questions I've posted onto Answers. I know you secretly like these, and find the low quality and/or poor responses inexplicably entertaining, so we'll go ahead and have a look at some recent rejected questions.
*********************************************************
Question # 1 (You have to make a living somehow...)
You've been laid off and are desperately seeking employment. After much searching, you realize your options are pretty limited, and settle on the only thing available that fits your particular set of skills: professional wrestler. What is your wrestler name and what does your costume look like?
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Yahoo! Answers
haha good question but im not creative :)
(I posted this twice and this was the only response I got the first time. I'd say it was a waste of my time, but that's pretty much the essence of this whole experiment.)
Mr. Italiano
I would have a cape that looks like the Italian flag. And My Green suit would have a Italian Style tie with a red and white shorts.
The black Axe
and my costume wld b a pair of ED Hardy Jeans wit a axe and blood spray painted
im not a fan of tight pants
************************************************************
Question # 2 (I still had Batman on the brain.)
What would you carry in a your utility belt?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
I think so
(Good work. I mean, really, you've gotta love when they put so much thought into it.)
Duct tape, a can of Scrubby Bubbles and an acetylene torch.
If it can't be fixed with duct tape or cleaned with SB, I'll turn into ashes.
(If you have duct tape, you don't need the other two things.)
************************************************************
Question #3 (This one was a little too high brow for the Polls & Surveys crowd.)
From the tidbits you pick up from watching the news once a week, you decide that the government sucks and that it's about time for nice little coup. And hey, what the heck, you might as well head it up. After a long period of time you amass enough followers to do the deed and march on the capital. It is here you realize that you've overlooked a small detail. You have no weapons. None. Not even a pitchfork. But you've come this far, so there's no turning back. How do you successfully overthrow the government without using force?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Why would you want to overthrough the government why dont you just sit back and put up ith it like everybody else?
(Because the guy on CNN told me I didn't have to.)
Call myself a government then give them a bunch of ununderstandable, multifunctional, large worded blabber that they would not understand but look stupid if the hinted so, on tv.
(When you start with the large worded blabber, make sure and throw in 'ununderstandable'. That's a good one.)
sometimes, i see ghosts
(I would be willing to wager that at any given time at least 5% of the people answering questions on Yahoo are under the influence of either alcohol or some recreational drug.)
well if i've "amassed enough followers" as you so wonderfully put, I wonuldn't NEED weapons- I would get myself into a high enough postion in the government until I could throw it from the inside out. Ever heard of Hitler? Yeah, basically that's what he did got enough followers until HIS way became THE way. i guess in order to do that you'd have had to have had this plan form the beginning unless you want years of more work... a better question is how did you manage to forget that you might need weapons? and why would you not have any weapons? those might also be important in answering this situation.
********************************************************
Question #4 (I know, I originally said that I wasn't going to post this. But I think it needs to be seen, especially considering the additional positive remark that was added late.)
What do you think of these songs?
it sucks
(Yes, a bit of a scathing remark to start, but then...)
Utter brilliance!!
LOL thats so cute!!
love it.
why do you wanna know?
(Why do you want to know why I want to know? Yeah.)
no
GAY
*********************************************************
Question # 1 (You have to make a living somehow...)
You've been laid off and are desperately seeking employment. After much searching, you realize your options are pretty limited, and settle on the only thing available that fits your particular set of skills: professional wrestler. What is your wrestler name and what does your costume look like?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers
haha good question but im not creative :)
(I posted this twice and this was the only response I got the first time. I'd say it was a waste of my time, but that's pretty much the essence of this whole experiment.)
Mr. Italiano
I would have a cape that looks like the Italian flag. And My Green suit would have a Italian Style tie with a red and white shorts.
The black Axe
and my costume wld b a pair of ED Hardy Jeans wit a axe and blood spray painted
im not a fan of tight pants
************************************************************
Question # 2 (I still had Batman on the brain.)
What would you carry in a your utility belt?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
I think so
(Good work. I mean, really, you've gotta love when they put so much thought into it.)
Duct tape, a can of Scrubby Bubbles and an acetylene torch.
If it can't be fixed with duct tape or cleaned with SB, I'll turn into ashes.
(If you have duct tape, you don't need the other two things.)
************************************************************
Question #3 (This one was a little too high brow for the Polls & Surveys crowd.)
From the tidbits you pick up from watching the news once a week, you decide that the government sucks and that it's about time for nice little coup. And hey, what the heck, you might as well head it up. After a long period of time you amass enough followers to do the deed and march on the capital. It is here you realize that you've overlooked a small detail. You have no weapons. None. Not even a pitchfork. But you've come this far, so there's no turning back. How do you successfully overthrow the government without using force?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Why would you want to overthrough the government why dont you just sit back and put up ith it like everybody else?
(Because the guy on CNN told me I didn't have to.)
Call myself a government then give them a bunch of ununderstandable, multifunctional, large worded blabber that they would not understand but look stupid if the hinted so, on tv.
(When you start with the large worded blabber, make sure and throw in 'ununderstandable'. That's a good one.)
sometimes, i see ghosts
(I would be willing to wager that at any given time at least 5% of the people answering questions on Yahoo are under the influence of either alcohol or some recreational drug.)
well if i've "amassed enough followers" as you so wonderfully put, I wonuldn't NEED weapons- I would get myself into a high enough postion in the government until I could throw it from the inside out. Ever heard of Hitler? Yeah, basically that's what he did got enough followers until HIS way became THE way. i guess in order to do that you'd have had to have had this plan form the beginning unless you want years of more work... a better question is how did you manage to forget that you might need weapons? and why would you not have any weapons? those might also be important in answering this situation.
********************************************************
Question #4 (I know, I originally said that I wasn't going to post this. But I think it needs to be seen, especially considering the additional positive remark that was added late.)
What do you think of these songs?
it sucks
(Yes, a bit of a scathing remark to start, but then...)
Utter brilliance!!
LOL thats so cute!!
love it.
why do you wanna know?
(Why do you want to know why I want to know? Yeah.)
no
GAY
Sunday, July 5, 2009
July 6: Unfortuanely, it's only a one way trip.
You have a hankering for some calories, so you head to McDonald's for 6 double cheese burgers. They're having one of those fun scratch off games, so you get a large Coke (diet, of course). After your meal you do some scratching and realize you've won. Your prize, an all expenses paid trip to the moon. What fun moon things will you do while you're up there?
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Yahoo! Answers:
walk
jump on a trampoline
bring some crackers and devour it. (swiss cheese..)
(The moon is provolone, stupid.)
It would be awesome to have praise and worship exalting God on the moon :D
moon earth?
lolz no i would go on a moon bounce and see if they work in space :D
do it on the moon
(Do what? Do you know what he's talking about? Uh huh... no, no way. That's ridiculous.)
planting!
I would bring a friend and populate the moon! And when we controlled the universe, I would eat some cheese. :)
Haha, interesting question.
Here's a star, to go with your moon.
(A very, very close friend, apparently.)
Alright, first things first I would scoop up some cheese and eat it there. Second, I would have to run all around til I fall in a crater. Next, I would play hide and seek with the aliens and hide in the crater. Ooo then I would scream as much as I could until someone slaps me for being so dang annoying! Well, I guess I would like to do some exploring/observing and get some of the rocks and such to observe when I get home, or I can sell them....either way. And by the end of the day I would scoop up all the cheese there and bring it with me!!! Haha lol
Yeah McDonalds would so have that type of prize! lol
Oh maybe i should smuggle someone so that we can play hide and go seek together with the aliens!
(I would like to volunteer to be the person who slaps you.)
i would moonwalk on the moon :)
Well, first off I need to know what kind of cheese the moon is made of - then I'll have a better answer.
and btw, I would of course ask the Man in the Moon to supper *__*.
I would definitely jump around singing walking on the moon by the police I don't think it could get much better
Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon!
(I know how it could get better. You could sing a song that doesn't suck.)
Grafffiti!
The Moon Walk of course!
look at rocks?
(Yay!)
shoot a huge nuke at earth
(I see a very small flaw in your plan...)
hop around like an idiot
I would moon the earth. But then hurry home for another double cheese burger. Mmmmm.
Reported for the violation of community guidelines.
(Sweet! This is my goal now. I figure if I haven't violated the community guideline, the question isn't good enough. What do I care? I have more Yahoo accounts than I know what to do with now.)
Impossible. I'd never go to McDonalds.
(That'll make it hard to sue them later on in life when you put on some pounds.)
find some nummy moon cheese and make a lovely sandwich
dance, sing, float, make love to a rock .
yenno, normal things like that .
(I have so many things I would like to say here, but not one of them is in any way appropriate.)
i'd collect as much cheese as i could.
I'd probably be too sick puking up my six double cheeseburgers to do any fun moon things...
I would tan. Because EVERYONE tans on the moon.
uhh...im too high to understand.
(Don't worry. You probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway.)
I'll bring a lap top......
X3
that's how much i love the computer >.<>.>
runnn
I would take a ---- in a crater then scribble IF.UI Gallieo in my urine
Afterwards it was Mcdonalds!
I would bring my all expenses paid McDonalds meal up to the moon with me (because my moon trip is of course, completely decked out in McDonald's gear), and eat the french fries by throwing them in the air, then leaping to catch them in my mouth. However, this would be a problem, as I would be wearing a space suit on the normal earth moon. So the moon in my fantasy has air. It's like earth with less gravity.
Yes, I do have ADD... got a problem?
Thank you for allowing me to rant. Good question!
(No, no... thank YOU.)
sex on the moon!!!!!!!!!! no im kidding, id jump up nd do a bunch of flips nd tricks nd stuff like u do on those bungee jumpy thingys lolz idk
(I will ignore the first part of your answer and skip straight to the issue here: How much time do you actually save by leaving the 'a' out of the word 'and' while taking the time to type out complex, high level words such as 'thingys'?)
...huh?
Well initially politeness would dictate that I ask the local inhabitants permission just to be there, I don't mean Americans. Then I would look at all the buildings and ask where does Bert Newton live.
(According to Wikipedia, he's an old Australian actor who's nickname was 'Moonface'. He also won a Golden Logie, whatever that is.)
hmmm first play 360 FIRST EVER CONSOLE IN SPACE after that probably go play soccer and juggle forever which would be awesome. then go meet the moon aliens try their native foods, kick their butts in soccer due to their lack of cordination and come back with my new space friend whos name cannot be typed.
First of all I would play some basket ball then dress up as superman then pretend to fly and do back flips and stuff like that
(So basically the same thing you do every day, then?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
walk
jump on a trampoline
bring some crackers and devour it. (swiss cheese..)
(The moon is provolone, stupid.)
It would be awesome to have praise and worship exalting God on the moon :D
moon earth?
lolz no i would go on a moon bounce and see if they work in space :D
do it on the moon
(Do what? Do you know what he's talking about? Uh huh... no, no way. That's ridiculous.)
planting!
I would bring a friend and populate the moon! And when we controlled the universe, I would eat some cheese. :)
Haha, interesting question.
Here's a star, to go with your moon.
(A very, very close friend, apparently.)
Alright, first things first I would scoop up some cheese and eat it there. Second, I would have to run all around til I fall in a crater. Next, I would play hide and seek with the aliens and hide in the crater. Ooo then I would scream as much as I could until someone slaps me for being so dang annoying! Well, I guess I would like to do some exploring/observing and get some of the rocks and such to observe when I get home, or I can sell them....either way. And by the end of the day I would scoop up all the cheese there and bring it with me!!! Haha lol
Yeah McDonalds would so have that type of prize! lol
Oh maybe i should smuggle someone so that we can play hide and go seek together with the aliens!
(I would like to volunteer to be the person who slaps you.)
i would moonwalk on the moon :)
Well, first off I need to know what kind of cheese the moon is made of - then I'll have a better answer.
and btw, I would of course ask the Man in the Moon to supper *__*.
I would definitely jump around singing walking on the moon by the police I don't think it could get much better
Giant steps are what you take, walking on the moon!
(I know how it could get better. You could sing a song that doesn't suck.)
Grafffiti!
The Moon Walk of course!
look at rocks?
(Yay!)
shoot a huge nuke at earth
(I see a very small flaw in your plan...)
hop around like an idiot
I would moon the earth. But then hurry home for another double cheese burger. Mmmmm.
Reported for the violation of community guidelines.
(Sweet! This is my goal now. I figure if I haven't violated the community guideline, the question isn't good enough. What do I care? I have more Yahoo accounts than I know what to do with now.)
Impossible. I'd never go to McDonalds.
(That'll make it hard to sue them later on in life when you put on some pounds.)
find some nummy moon cheese and make a lovely sandwich
dance, sing, float, make love to a rock .
yenno, normal things like that .
(I have so many things I would like to say here, but not one of them is in any way appropriate.)
i'd collect as much cheese as i could.
I'd probably be too sick puking up my six double cheeseburgers to do any fun moon things...
I would tan. Because EVERYONE tans on the moon.
uhh...im too high to understand.
(Don't worry. You probably wouldn't have gotten it anyway.)
I'll bring a lap top......
X3
that's how much i love the computer >.<>.>
runnn
I would take a ---- in a crater then scribble IF.UI Gallieo in my urine
Afterwards it was Mcdonalds!
I would bring my all expenses paid McDonalds meal up to the moon with me (because my moon trip is of course, completely decked out in McDonald's gear), and eat the french fries by throwing them in the air, then leaping to catch them in my mouth. However, this would be a problem, as I would be wearing a space suit on the normal earth moon. So the moon in my fantasy has air. It's like earth with less gravity.
Yes, I do have ADD... got a problem?
Thank you for allowing me to rant. Good question!
(No, no... thank YOU.)
sex on the moon!!!!!!!!!! no im kidding, id jump up nd do a bunch of flips nd tricks nd stuff like u do on those bungee jumpy thingys lolz idk
(I will ignore the first part of your answer and skip straight to the issue here: How much time do you actually save by leaving the 'a' out of the word 'and' while taking the time to type out complex, high level words such as 'thingys'?)
...huh?
Well initially politeness would dictate that I ask the local inhabitants permission just to be there, I don't mean Americans. Then I would look at all the buildings and ask where does Bert Newton live.
(According to Wikipedia, he's an old Australian actor who's nickname was 'Moonface'. He also won a Golden Logie, whatever that is.)
hmmm first play 360 FIRST EVER CONSOLE IN SPACE after that probably go play soccer and juggle forever which would be awesome. then go meet the moon aliens try their native foods, kick their butts in soccer due to their lack of cordination and come back with my new space friend whos name cannot be typed.
First of all I would play some basket ball then dress up as superman then pretend to fly and do back flips and stuff like that
(So basically the same thing you do every day, then?)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
July 2: *Theme from The Natural*
I'm back from Game #2 (another very exciting win for your Texas Rangers). Here's some happy thoughts:
- I. LOVE. BASEBALL.
(You knew I had to work it in somehow. Why beat around the bush?)
- In the world of television, there has never been a show quite like the original Batman TV series (you know, before Adam West became the mayor of Quohog). The Batman series originating in 1966 really is an enigma. On one hand, you examine the overall quality. The dialogue is awkward, a lot of the acting is terrible, and the show was canceled after three years because Fox wanted to cut some characters and the Batman people didn't like it. Oh, and Robin may be the single most annoying character in the superhero world. That being said, that show is incredible. It is inexplicably entertaining. At first I thought it was just me and my great liking for Batman. Then I dug a little deeper and found out that it actually won an Emmy back in the day. How can you not like it? The overly dramatic narration, the Bang!, Ka-pow!, and Biff! screens that come up during fights, and let us not forget the theme song, which is an enigma in its own right:
That may be the single most poorly written theme song in the history of TV. But once you hear it, you're singing it for the rest of the day. You're either walking around going "Batman...Batman...Batman" or (more likely) "Duh-nuh-na-nuh-nuh-nuh-na-nuh". That doesn't even make any sense when it's typed out, but if you've watched that clip up there you know exactly what I'm talking about, and by the time you read these words have probably already sung it through at least twice.
- If one is looking to hire security guards for his or her establishment or venue, the applicants should be required to both run a certain distance in a certain amount of time and be put through extensive agility drills. I only say this because at the game tonight, when the Rangers won on a walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth (Woohoo!), a fan who was no doubt at least slightly intoxicated hopped onto the field and took some victory laps. There were four security guards after him, and he made them look like fools. They tried to surround him, corner him, and run him down, and I'm pretty sure three of the four ended up on the turf. This guy had some mad skills. He was juking right, juking left, hopping over the reach of diving guards, all while waving his hands about and playing to the crowd. We were all cheering for him in our euphoric state. The only reason they caught him was that he gave himself up so he could high five some other members of the crowd. So, if you're looking for security guards, check the resumes for speed and agility. And maybe form tackling.
Eh, that's about it. I think I'll sign off in 1966 Batman style:
(Overly dramatic narrator voice)
Is this all SQotD has to offer?
Will there be a question tomorrow?
Why does he keep ranting about how awesome Batman is?
Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.
And remember, the worst is yet to come!
- I. LOVE. BASEBALL.
(You knew I had to work it in somehow. Why beat around the bush?)
- In the world of television, there has never been a show quite like the original Batman TV series (you know, before Adam West became the mayor of Quohog). The Batman series originating in 1966 really is an enigma. On one hand, you examine the overall quality. The dialogue is awkward, a lot of the acting is terrible, and the show was canceled after three years because Fox wanted to cut some characters and the Batman people didn't like it. Oh, and Robin may be the single most annoying character in the superhero world. That being said, that show is incredible. It is inexplicably entertaining. At first I thought it was just me and my great liking for Batman. Then I dug a little deeper and found out that it actually won an Emmy back in the day. How can you not like it? The overly dramatic narration, the Bang!, Ka-pow!, and Biff! screens that come up during fights, and let us not forget the theme song, which is an enigma in its own right:
That may be the single most poorly written theme song in the history of TV. But once you hear it, you're singing it for the rest of the day. You're either walking around going "Batman...Batman...Batman" or (more likely) "Duh-nuh-na-nuh-nuh-nuh-na-nuh". That doesn't even make any sense when it's typed out, but if you've watched that clip up there you know exactly what I'm talking about, and by the time you read these words have probably already sung it through at least twice.
- If one is looking to hire security guards for his or her establishment or venue, the applicants should be required to both run a certain distance in a certain amount of time and be put through extensive agility drills. I only say this because at the game tonight, when the Rangers won on a walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth (Woohoo!), a fan who was no doubt at least slightly intoxicated hopped onto the field and took some victory laps. There were four security guards after him, and he made them look like fools. They tried to surround him, corner him, and run him down, and I'm pretty sure three of the four ended up on the turf. This guy had some mad skills. He was juking right, juking left, hopping over the reach of diving guards, all while waving his hands about and playing to the crowd. We were all cheering for him in our euphoric state. The only reason they caught him was that he gave himself up so he could high five some other members of the crowd. So, if you're looking for security guards, check the resumes for speed and agility. And maybe form tackling.
Eh, that's about it. I think I'll sign off in 1966 Batman style:
(Overly dramatic narrator voice)
Is this all SQotD has to offer?
Will there be a question tomorrow?
Why does he keep ranting about how awesome Batman is?
Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel.
And remember, the worst is yet to come!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Baseball > Blog
Hello, sports fans. Unfortunately I have nothing for you today, as I went to a Ranger game this evening and didn't get back in time to get a question up. Another thing you may consider to be unfortunate (though I am rather pleased about it), is that I will be attending another Ranger game tomorrow night. However, I will try to have some thoughts for you tomorrow to give you a little entertainment. Should be strong, so come back tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel.
Monday, June 29, 2009
June 30: A little parody of a Y!A classic...
Main question: Would you consider me to be attractive?
I'm 6' 8", 135 pounds. I have green hair and a pretty fair complexion, as I am allergic to sunlight. My left eye is lazy, and I'm missing 3 teeth and one of my ear lobes from a piercing gone horribly wrong. My entire wardrobe is orange and purple and I enjoy parachute pants and cowboy boots (one orange, one purple). It's a shame I don't have a picture, but I want your opinion anyway. Pretty good lookin' right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
5 star
ew neveer.
(Ouch.)
Sounds like my kinda man! or wo-man.
wait your 6'8 and weighs 135 pounds?? so your skinny then o.O
(You'd think so.)
Gorgeous!
yousa dime! top of da line babyy
("Yousa"? What're you... Jar Jar Binks?)
If I saw you, I'd think you were a tower...
(Well that would be stupid.)
i'd hit that
You sound exactly like my avatar.
Hot.
HECK YAH
can I have your number, you sound just like my type!
(Sorry, babe. My heart belongs to a circus freak.)
damnnnnn. your sexy as hell. save me some room in your parachute pants ;) ?
(Is "sexy as hell" a compliment? I can't tell.)
LMAO.
(She then put an inordinate amount of empty lines, making me scroll a long way, all to find...)
NO.
O M G Youre invited to...
a party in my pants!
(Did Brian tell you to say that, Brick?)
SEXY that is just my kind of man! random, joyous, and unique! Wanna hang out sometime?
~Brittany~
(Hey, I can't imagine a healthier relationship than hanging out with some Y!A stalker.)
Hey hottie, call me some time
HOT! XD
Im sry but it is nearly impossible for you to be 6' 8" and 135 pounds because you would consist of nothing but skin and bones and be dead, or close to it. If this is true, which I highly doubt, then you have a serious eating disorder...dude, wtf?
(Congratulations on being the only moron to not be absolutely sure that this was a joke. Even the people in the Singles & Dating section got this one. And your answer was in even in the Jokes and Riddles section. Come on!
But I appreciate your concern.)
(Administrative Comment: I have to laugh at questions like these, because there are so many legit ones out there on Answers. Mainly females: "Am I pretty?" "Do you think I'm hott?" "Rate me 1-10. Pics!" It's pretty sad. I have to think it would be a shot to the self esteem. Because two kinds of people answer these questions. The first, of course, is creepers. Second are the people who answer them in a brutally negative fashion to have fun at another's expense and punish them for asking such a retarded question. I may or may not have fallen into that second category before when in need of points to ask more questions.)
I'm 6' 8", 135 pounds. I have green hair and a pretty fair complexion, as I am allergic to sunlight. My left eye is lazy, and I'm missing 3 teeth and one of my ear lobes from a piercing gone horribly wrong. My entire wardrobe is orange and purple and I enjoy parachute pants and cowboy boots (one orange, one purple). It's a shame I don't have a picture, but I want your opinion anyway. Pretty good lookin' right?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
5 star
ew neveer.
(Ouch.)
Sounds like my kinda man! or wo-man.
wait your 6'8 and weighs 135 pounds?? so your skinny then o.O
(You'd think so.)
Gorgeous!
yousa dime! top of da line babyy
("Yousa"? What're you... Jar Jar Binks?)
If I saw you, I'd think you were a tower...
(Well that would be stupid.)
i'd hit that
You sound exactly like my avatar.
Hot.
HECK YAH
can I have your number, you sound just like my type!
(Sorry, babe. My heart belongs to a circus freak.)
damnnnnn. your sexy as hell. save me some room in your parachute pants ;) ?
(Is "sexy as hell" a compliment? I can't tell.)
LMAO.
(She then put an inordinate amount of empty lines, making me scroll a long way, all to find...)
NO.
O M G Youre invited to...
a party in my pants!
(Did Brian tell you to say that, Brick?)
SEXY that is just my kind of man! random, joyous, and unique! Wanna hang out sometime?
~Brittany~
(Hey, I can't imagine a healthier relationship than hanging out with some Y!A stalker.)
Hey hottie, call me some time
HOT! XD
Im sry but it is nearly impossible for you to be 6' 8" and 135 pounds because you would consist of nothing but skin and bones and be dead, or close to it. If this is true, which I highly doubt, then you have a serious eating disorder...dude, wtf?
(Congratulations on being the only moron to not be absolutely sure that this was a joke. Even the people in the Singles & Dating section got this one. And your answer was in even in the Jokes and Riddles section. Come on!
But I appreciate your concern.)
(Administrative Comment: I have to laugh at questions like these, because there are so many legit ones out there on Answers. Mainly females: "Am I pretty?" "Do you think I'm hott?" "Rate me 1-10. Pics!" It's pretty sad. I have to think it would be a shot to the self esteem. Because two kinds of people answer these questions. The first, of course, is creepers. Second are the people who answer them in a brutally negative fashion to have fun at another's expense and punish them for asking such a retarded question. I may or may not have fallen into that second category before when in need of points to ask more questions.)
Sunday, June 28, 2009
June 29: But he sure plays a mean Wii Sports.
You are over at a friend's house playing a Wii on his very large, very expensive HD TV. There are three of you playing. The TV's owner excuses himself to go to the restroom, leaving you playing with Pepe, who happens to be mute and illiterate. At this time you accidentally let your controller fly into the TV, destroying it. You don't have the money to replace it. A brilliant idea strikes you: You could very easily blame it on Pepe. He has no way to defend himself. Would you do it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
hell yea
honestly i don't think i'd have the heart, or the balls for that matter, to do something like that lol
(You know, both of those pieces of anatomy are used figuratively in this situation. I really don't think you had to specify the source of guilt.)
poor Pepe! no, i would say i did it. :( i know, stupid.
Hahaha....good idea, but NOPE...! I blame it on supernatural power and the flying spaghetti....lol
(I don't know why I didn't think of that.)
nah man, pass the cheeeeeese.
(Provolone or Swiss? What...? What do you mean that's probably not what she's talking about...?)
No I would own up to it and take the blame, and then jack pepe's wallet =) jk
(Good plan.)
yes
no, the guilt would destroy me on the inside
(I think they have medication to help with that.)
Blame the mute!
NO. bad bad bad karma.
with further thought, this would never happen because i wear the safety strap =)
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thts sick and wrong!
(Nice use of exclamation points.)
No. I'd take the blame. I think Nintendo replaces TVs if that happens. Score!
no! that is so rude!!!!
you can only blame things on blind people duh...
BEST ANSWER ...... :) ?
(There's no way I was picking this as best answer anyway. But there's nothing to deter me from doing so quite like that.)
That is wrong to blame it on the mute
No...
absolutely not.
No. that's ignorant and does the illiterate one have to have a stereotypical hispanic/mexican name?
yea i guess a coward as ignorant as you would pass the blame b/c you would be too scared to admit your error and you'd look for the easy way out.
(I was actually thinking Italian when I picked the name Pepe.)
No that would be very mean and childish. But so funny!!!!!!!!!!!
No way. That's so mean, I mean even if you don't have the money you did it, and I'm sue your friend wouldn't be a complete jerk about breaking the TV.
Well I would just buy him a new TV.
But if I couldn't afford it, yeah.
But its just gonna come back to bite you in the a**
So I would just fess up.
(So, to recap: No you wouldn't, but yes you would, so no you wouldn't. Awesome.)
no
NOPE definitely!!! may be your fault.
(May be?)
no - I take responsibility for my actions.
(Good for you. Enjoy the debt of your friend's new TV.)
Sadly, i think i might, and the most worst thing would be, i wouldnt feel the least bit guilty.
but, maybe, id chicken out. i know i would... the owner would come back in, looking all shocked and stuff, and they would ask me what would happen, and it would be on the tip of my tounge to say... "Pepe did it by accident, i dont know what happend, it all happend so fast..." or something, but instead, id say.. "im soo sorry.." heck, i might have even grabbed Pepe's remolt to make it look relistic... but... and then i have to think of karma... oh... how horrible...
no
Is Pepe also blind with mental deficiencies?
(Does Pepe look like a pinball wizard? No. Sidenote: If you don't get this or the title of this question, you should listen to The Who more often.)
No! And don't do it. You already know what your stating is wrong. Not only are you going to lose your honor as a person for lying about what happened, but you're also going to get someone else in trouble for it. It's not as extreme, but you might as well kill someone and blame your loved one for it. Just fess up to it. It may be hard on you at first, but at least the consequences won't lead to a worse outcome.
(If I've learned anything from you people, it's that honor is overrated.)
LMAO HELL YEAH!
I don't know. I probably wouldn't but it's hard to tell.
I think that would be funny though:
"I'm ba-"
"PEPE DID IT!!!!"
well, it depends if Pepe has the money to pay for it. If he does, yes, I blame it on him
(Yeah, that makes it OK...)
No I would feel so bad!
oh yeah no doubt about it.
id consider it, but no, id feel so guilty all the time
No, not the right thing to do.
Besides Pepe could probably act out what happened.
(Administrative Comment: We just got a Wii. It's fun.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
hell yea
honestly i don't think i'd have the heart, or the balls for that matter, to do something like that lol
(You know, both of those pieces of anatomy are used figuratively in this situation. I really don't think you had to specify the source of guilt.)
poor Pepe! no, i would say i did it. :( i know, stupid.
Hahaha....good idea, but NOPE...! I blame it on supernatural power and the flying spaghetti....lol
(I don't know why I didn't think of that.)
nah man, pass the cheeeeeese.
(Provolone or Swiss? What...? What do you mean that's probably not what she's talking about...?)
No I would own up to it and take the blame, and then jack pepe's wallet =) jk
(Good plan.)
yes
no, the guilt would destroy me on the inside
(I think they have medication to help with that.)
Blame the mute!
NO. bad bad bad karma.
with further thought, this would never happen because i wear the safety strap =)
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thts sick and wrong!
(Nice use of exclamation points.)
No. I'd take the blame. I think Nintendo replaces TVs if that happens. Score!
no! that is so rude!!!!
you can only blame things on blind people duh...
BEST ANSWER ...... :) ?
(There's no way I was picking this as best answer anyway. But there's nothing to deter me from doing so quite like that.)
That is wrong to blame it on the mute
No...
absolutely not.
No. that's ignorant and does the illiterate one have to have a stereotypical hispanic/mexican name?
yea i guess a coward as ignorant as you would pass the blame b/c you would be too scared to admit your error and you'd look for the easy way out.
(I was actually thinking Italian when I picked the name Pepe.)
No that would be very mean and childish. But so funny!!!!!!!!!!!
No way. That's so mean, I mean even if you don't have the money you did it, and I'm sue your friend wouldn't be a complete jerk about breaking the TV.
Well I would just buy him a new TV.
But if I couldn't afford it, yeah.
But its just gonna come back to bite you in the a**
So I would just fess up.
(So, to recap: No you wouldn't, but yes you would, so no you wouldn't. Awesome.)
no
NOPE definitely!!! may be your fault.
(May be?)
no - I take responsibility for my actions.
(Good for you. Enjoy the debt of your friend's new TV.)
Sadly, i think i might, and the most worst thing would be, i wouldnt feel the least bit guilty.
but, maybe, id chicken out. i know i would... the owner would come back in, looking all shocked and stuff, and they would ask me what would happen, and it would be on the tip of my tounge to say... "Pepe did it by accident, i dont know what happend, it all happend so fast..." or something, but instead, id say.. "im soo sorry.." heck, i might have even grabbed Pepe's remolt to make it look relistic... but... and then i have to think of karma... oh... how horrible...
no
Is Pepe also blind with mental deficiencies?
(Does Pepe look like a pinball wizard? No. Sidenote: If you don't get this or the title of this question, you should listen to The Who more often.)
No! And don't do it. You already know what your stating is wrong. Not only are you going to lose your honor as a person for lying about what happened, but you're also going to get someone else in trouble for it. It's not as extreme, but you might as well kill someone and blame your loved one for it. Just fess up to it. It may be hard on you at first, but at least the consequences won't lead to a worse outcome.
(If I've learned anything from you people, it's that honor is overrated.)
LMAO HELL YEAH!
I don't know. I probably wouldn't but it's hard to tell.
I think that would be funny though:
"I'm ba-"
"PEPE DID IT!!!!"
well, it depends if Pepe has the money to pay for it. If he does, yes, I blame it on him
(Yeah, that makes it OK...)
No I would feel so bad!
oh yeah no doubt about it.
id consider it, but no, id feel so guilty all the time
No, not the right thing to do.
Besides Pepe could probably act out what happened.
(Administrative Comment: We just got a Wii. It's fun.)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
June 26: And Farrah Fawcett too.
Well, folks, I tried, but nobody seems to be answering any
questions tonight unless they're about this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8&feature=featured
Seeing as any question I asked involving Michael Jackson
would have probably not been all that appropriate under the
circumstances, I decided to just hold off. I mean, the guy
did die. So, we'll just hold off for now and come back
Monday.
questions tonight unless they're about this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqxo1SKB0z8&feature=featured
Seeing as any question I asked involving Michael Jackson
would have probably not been all that appropriate under the
circumstances, I decided to just hold off. I mean, the guy
did die. So, we'll just hold off for now and come back
Monday.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
June 25: Глупый Вопрос дня
Когда вы нажмете что коалу арбуза, какой была его реакция?
(I guess I owe you a little explanation before we move on. I took a question and put it into the Google translator, which is no doubt highly inaccurate. I then used the line 'What happened here?' to get people to look at the question. More explanation in the Administrative Comment. Also, I apologize to anyone who speaks Russian for the bad translation.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
hahahahaha
nothing
(Something must have happened. I can't read my own question.)
I don't know?
(No, you don't. I assume you wanted an answer since you used a question mark.)
My guess is you started to feel a little Russian.
"When you will press that the koala of a water-melon who was its reaction"
What?
Say whaaat?
what is this some kind of terrorist message?
What your going to kill the Presi..(bang)
(Only if you're the koala.)
ITS A SECRET CODE!
(NO IT'S NOT!)
someone wrote something in russian
When you click that koala watermelon, what was his reaction?
??????????????????????????????????? I'm tired and don't feel like trying to figure it out. Just someone tell me! Please.
(I will not condone laziness. You can get your own piece of pie.)
When you press that [koalu] of the watermelon, such as was its reaction-
this was per yahoo babelfish. I'm guessing it's a little off maybe?
(A little, yes.)
What happened here is that you put a Russian (or Ukranian) sentence in an English Q & A forum, where it would be sheer luck if someone who could read it came along. Suggest you ask again, putting the name of the language used, in the title so as to (hopefully!!) attract speakers of that language!!
(That would defeat the entire purpose and make this way less entertaining.)
When you will press that the koala of a water-melon who was its reaction?
hmmm.
if only i could read that.
Cal copied and pasted?
(Yep.)
Korian people got a hold of your comp.?
(Probably. It's seems like those Koreans are trying to do just about anything to us these days. Though I will definitely take this over being blown up.)
When you click that koala watermelon, what was his reaction?
silly russians
UM?! O.o''?! wha?
(Am I supposed to be able to decipher meaning from that?)
(Administrative Comment: The question was, "When you hit that koala with the watermelon, what was its reaction?")
(I guess I owe you a little explanation before we move on. I took a question and put it into the Google translator, which is no doubt highly inaccurate. I then used the line 'What happened here?' to get people to look at the question. More explanation in the Administrative Comment. Also, I apologize to anyone who speaks Russian for the bad translation.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
hahahahaha
nothing
(Something must have happened. I can't read my own question.)
I don't know?
(No, you don't. I assume you wanted an answer since you used a question mark.)
My guess is you started to feel a little Russian.
"When you will press that the koala of a water-melon who was its reaction"
What?
Say whaaat?
what is this some kind of terrorist message?
What your going to kill the Presi..(bang)
(Only if you're the koala.)
ITS A SECRET CODE!
(NO IT'S NOT!)
someone wrote something in russian
When you click that koala watermelon, what was his reaction?
??????????????????????????????????? I'm tired and don't feel like trying to figure it out. Just someone tell me! Please.
(I will not condone laziness. You can get your own piece of pie.)
When you press that [koalu] of the watermelon, such as was its reaction-
this was per yahoo babelfish. I'm guessing it's a little off maybe?
(A little, yes.)
What happened here is that you put a Russian (or Ukranian) sentence in an English Q & A forum, where it would be sheer luck if someone who could read it came along. Suggest you ask again, putting the name of the language used, in the title so as to (hopefully!!) attract speakers of that language!!
(That would defeat the entire purpose and make this way less entertaining.)
When you will press that the koala of a water-melon who was its reaction?
hmmm.
if only i could read that.
Cal copied and pasted?
(Yep.)
Korian people got a hold of your comp.?
(Probably. It's seems like those Koreans are trying to do just about anything to us these days. Though I will definitely take this over being blown up.)
When you click that koala watermelon, what was his reaction?
silly russians
UM?! O.o''?! wha?
(Am I supposed to be able to decipher meaning from that?)
(Administrative Comment: The question was, "When you hit that koala with the watermelon, what was its reaction?")
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
June 24: I don't expect you to understand the complexities here. Not all of us can be scientific geniuses.
You're working in the lab one day, when you find a brand new machine that the Chemistry gods have sent into your presence. It's the Graph Crapper 7000, a machine that blasts anything you put in it with atoms, blowing it to pieces. It then gives you a graph of the molecular breakdown of the object. But that's definitely not the fun part. You are alone with this multimillion dollar piece of equipment, so you of course must play with it. What are you going to obliterate in an awesome atom smashing spectacle?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
rocks... lots and lots of rocks...
my neighbor's dog who poops everywhere
I would disassemble it and melt the pieces then destroy the blueprints and any other information about it. Not what you were expecting sorry.
today's humor
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies that look like your grand mother running around with tattoos and face jewelry?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !
(Not only is that not funny, both of those things are absolutely terrifying.)
Godfather 3
Oh look my B***** coworker seems to have left her precious Gold Card in her desk...
Whoops
(Why must you use something so awesome for evil?)
I would blow up Miley Cyrus.
My bosses house.
You.
(Bring it.)
North Korea.
north korea
A celebrities house.
Britney Spears. (I would sleep like a baby)
marshmallows.
I would blow up my father.
and maybe hitler if he was stil alive.
I'd rather have a case of hand grenades. We need to get out more.
(Hand grenades would be fun too. But what would be even more fun is putting a case of hand grenades into the Graph Crapper 7000.)
a penny
(And then the Feds swoop down upon you and take you into custody. And you thought that whole defacement of government property thing was a myth...)
Why blow only 1 thing?
I would Blow on a Rampage
my new blow-up doll that i just got
(Oh, you are too clever.)
the horrible town i grew up in after i move my family out, all those other rotten ------- gotta go
(Ah, memories...)
I would blow up the Earth and everything and everyone on it, so that way we can all find out together what waits for us after death.
(While several people here seem to be overestimating the size of the Graph Crapper 7000, I think you may have the biggest issue. In more ways than one.)
my high school
but i can give you the moleculor break down already
50% angst
20% blood sweat and tears
10% homework
5% hating yourself
5% hating everyone else
5% friends
4% boys/girls
1% learning **** youll never use in your life ever again
Hackensack, NJ. Superman reluctantly promised Miss Testmocker that if she saved him from the kryptonite, he would stop the nuclear bomb headed there instead of the one headed towards California. He then had to spin the Earth backwards to reverse time to stop that bomb and save California. Certainly if the bomb blew up Hackensack instead of California, he would have done the world a service by getting rid of New Jersey, and he wouldn't have bothered to reverse time.
(Batman is better.)
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Especially if the Graph Crapper 7000 has a "slow" setting.
(That can be arranged.)
Anything poisoness and EVIL! LoLz :) Like spiders! Well not all of them........
What's the molecular composition of a Bible? Is gold leaf really gold? Inquiring minds gotta know.
Also... a watermelon. It's not a guy toy unless it can obliterate watermelons.
(I know what I'm doing next time I'm bored.)
microwave all the way
my past!
i'd blow up some atoms
i'd just take some atoms and put them in and smash them
I'll go blow up some people who really get on my nerves
Okay, so you've asked this about four times now.
I guess you kept trying until you got a lot of answers.
(That's the idea, pal.)
(Administrative Comment: I discovered today that there's a guy who uses Yahoo Answers to go around searching solely for questions pertaining to Chuck Norris and answering them as if he was Chuck himself. Just thought I'd share.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
rocks... lots and lots of rocks...
my neighbor's dog who poops everywhere
I would disassemble it and melt the pieces then destroy the blueprints and any other information about it. Not what you were expecting sorry.
today's humor
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies that look like your grand mother running around with tattoos and face jewelry?(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies !
(Not only is that not funny, both of those things are absolutely terrifying.)
Godfather 3
Oh look my B***** coworker seems to have left her precious Gold Card in her desk...
Whoops
(Why must you use something so awesome for evil?)
I would blow up Miley Cyrus.
My bosses house.
You.
(Bring it.)
North Korea.
north korea
A celebrities house.
Britney Spears. (I would sleep like a baby)
marshmallows.
I would blow up my father.
and maybe hitler if he was stil alive.
I'd rather have a case of hand grenades. We need to get out more.
(Hand grenades would be fun too. But what would be even more fun is putting a case of hand grenades into the Graph Crapper 7000.)
a penny
(And then the Feds swoop down upon you and take you into custody. And you thought that whole defacement of government property thing was a myth...)
Why blow only 1 thing?
I would Blow on a Rampage
my new blow-up doll that i just got
(Oh, you are too clever.)
the horrible town i grew up in after i move my family out, all those other rotten ------- gotta go
(Ah, memories...)
I would blow up the Earth and everything and everyone on it, so that way we can all find out together what waits for us after death.
(While several people here seem to be overestimating the size of the Graph Crapper 7000, I think you may have the biggest issue. In more ways than one.)
my high school
but i can give you the moleculor break down already
50% angst
20% blood sweat and tears
10% homework
5% hating yourself
5% hating everyone else
5% friends
4% boys/girls
1% learning **** youll never use in your life ever again
Hackensack, NJ. Superman reluctantly promised Miss Testmocker that if she saved him from the kryptonite, he would stop the nuclear bomb headed there instead of the one headed towards California. He then had to spin the Earth backwards to reverse time to stop that bomb and save California. Certainly if the bomb blew up Hackensack instead of California, he would have done the world a service by getting rid of New Jersey, and he wouldn't have bothered to reverse time.
(Batman is better.)
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Especially if the Graph Crapper 7000 has a "slow" setting.
(That can be arranged.)
Anything poisoness and EVIL! LoLz :) Like spiders! Well not all of them........
What's the molecular composition of a Bible? Is gold leaf really gold? Inquiring minds gotta know.
Also... a watermelon. It's not a guy toy unless it can obliterate watermelons.
(I know what I'm doing next time I'm bored.)
microwave all the way
my past!
i'd blow up some atoms
i'd just take some atoms and put them in and smash them
I'll go blow up some people who really get on my nerves
Okay, so you've asked this about four times now.
I guess you kept trying until you got a lot of answers.
(That's the idea, pal.)
(Administrative Comment: I discovered today that there's a guy who uses Yahoo Answers to go around searching solely for questions pertaining to Chuck Norris and answering them as if he was Chuck himself. Just thought I'd share.)
Sunday, June 21, 2009
June 22: If you can't beat 'em...
Chuck Norris pops up in answers to a lot of questions. What's the strangest question you've seen Chuck become a part of?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
This one LOL!
i dont like him
(You better not let Chuck Norris hear you say that.)
hahahaha lifes like a box of choclates
you never know when chuck norris is gonna kill you
hes actually in every question, you can only see him if youre awesome
Chuck Norris Questions about kung fu
(...That actually seems like it would make a lot of sense. You fail.)
Chuck Norris is his own question.
And he is his own answer.
(That's deep, man. Deep.)
some chick was having family probs and crap. lots of drama.
every single question involving him!
Is Chuck Norris the only one that can help you when you are constipated??
(I think we have a winner.)
who should the world president
(He'd have my vote.)
the boogie man checks his closet every night for chuck norris.
normal people have superman pajamas, superman has chuck norris pajamas.
one time chuck norris removed one hair from his beard and scewerd three men in the heart with it.
(Thanks for sharing. I'm sure no one's heard those before.)
let's have chuck shave his back for charity
I love him
This has got to be the strangest question about Chuck Norris ever.!
"How long would Chuck Norris last in the worst housing project?"
(.....O.....K......)
Chuck Norris isn't in questions, he just lets them share his space =]
does chuck norris eat miley cyrus for breakfast, i saw that one 2 days ago
(Administrative Comment: I forgot to mention this last time, but Friday featured the 100th post for Stupid Question of the Day! Was it the 100th question. Not by a long shot. Was it even the 100th legitimate post? Absolutely not! Technical difficulties and my own laziness have prevented that. But nevertheless, this thing's telling me I've posting 100 times, so I'm going to pretend like it's significant and go meditate on why I have so much spare time.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
This one LOL!
i dont like him
(You better not let Chuck Norris hear you say that.)
hahahaha lifes like a box of choclates
you never know when chuck norris is gonna kill you
hes actually in every question, you can only see him if youre awesome
Chuck Norris Questions about kung fu
(...That actually seems like it would make a lot of sense. You fail.)
Chuck Norris is his own question.
And he is his own answer.
(That's deep, man. Deep.)
some chick was having family probs and crap. lots of drama.
every single question involving him!
Is Chuck Norris the only one that can help you when you are constipated??
(I think we have a winner.)
who should the world president
(He'd have my vote.)
the boogie man checks his closet every night for chuck norris.
normal people have superman pajamas, superman has chuck norris pajamas.
one time chuck norris removed one hair from his beard and scewerd three men in the heart with it.
(Thanks for sharing. I'm sure no one's heard those before.)
let's have chuck shave his back for charity
I love him
This has got to be the strangest question about Chuck Norris ever.!
"How long would Chuck Norris last in the worst housing project?"
(.....O.....K......)
Chuck Norris isn't in questions, he just lets them share his space =]
does chuck norris eat miley cyrus for breakfast, i saw that one 2 days ago
(Administrative Comment: I forgot to mention this last time, but Friday featured the 100th post for Stupid Question of the Day! Was it the 100th question. Not by a long shot. Was it even the 100th legitimate post? Absolutely not! Technical difficulties and my own laziness have prevented that. But nevertheless, this thing's telling me I've posting 100 times, so I'm going to pretend like it's significant and go meditate on why I have so much spare time.)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
June 19: SQotD does not condone physical violence.
If someone you didn't know walked up to where you are right now, slapped you upside the head, and then walked away without a word what would you do?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
knock the betch out
(This may be the least clever way I've ever seen someone try to get around Yahoo's censor. An ! in place of the e would have been much more effective.)
look at him, confused.. thinking "what's wrong?" then walk away as if nothing happened
Eat a bagel
(That'll show him.)
Just because we don't know each other doesn't mean we can't love each other.
(Tell that to the dude who just popped you in the noggin.)
Go after them, then slap and punch them twice as hard, then walk away.........
Put them on life support.
go after that person and thump 'em all out ...i cant stand being dissed
(Yeah, it really hurts your street cred.)
Put a foot in their *** as they walk away.
(That's gonna make it hard to walk away.)
kick em in the shin he'd be limpin away
slap that person back lol
(Oh my, you are funny.)
Chase them and punch them.....
They wouldn't have that hand for very long.
id be up their butt demanding an explanation...which ultimately wouldnt help them any from me whoopin up on em
(It's a good idea, but i'd be in their face demanding an explanation instead. It would be way more effective and much less uncomfortable for both of you.)
find out what they were doing in my house
Quick, back-handed slap to the nuts, followed immediately by open palm-web thrust to exposed throat when his head instinctively moves forward in response to groin attack.
(You know, all they did was slap you. I think that first move is more than enough for your revenge. After that you've gone a step beyond cruel.)
slap dat ******* ***** so ******* hard she will cry home to her mom
i'd go f-ing ape s*** on their ***!
(How is that different from going normal s*** on someone's ***?)
grab them by the hair and slam their head into my knee and walk away without a word
(I've always wanted to do that to someone...)
i woudl wonder why they were in my bedroom at 12 at night???
put the smackdown on their candy ***
Go back to them, give them a dead leg, then a leg sweep (since they're now limping or hopping on one leg) then ask them why they just did that. If no answer comes out, then I'd punch them in the jejunum, which is a part of your lower intestine, and when punched, it makes them throw up.
(I can't imagine the jejunum makes it into attack plans very often.)
Id probably grab him/her and punch them then throw them out my window on 2nd floor n act like i never knew about it n that it never happened lol i wuld
first of all i dont think anyone in their right mind would do such a thing .. and if they did my --- would react right away and attack them back ..
I'd say HEY!!!! then when they walk off jump on their back and punch their head
I will tap the persons shoulder and when they turn around take their picture and go report to the police . If you hit the person back you are also doing something wrong .
Beat the ---- out of him/her
Report them to the Police.
Spit on them.
go to them and politely slap the **** out of them till im happy and cuss and whatever will make me pleased to get revenge :)
(At least you would do it politely.)
I'd body slam them to the ground. And then I would walk away and call them a ******.
laugh and then go and gleefully kick their ---
Beat the ______ out of them
kick their ****!
(I'm having a hard time figuring out what foul word he said here that was four letters long.)
I probably deserved it.
(That's right you did.)
probably stick my tongue out at them and them smack them back XD
be bewildered,shout back at them, and if the person duznt reply, run ahead and kick ***....
(Administrative Comment: This is totally unrelated, but you may remember a while back that someone used the, I don't know what you'd call this, um, phrase I guess, "ROFLOLMAOM". Absolutely disgusted and very confused, I went hunting for the meaning, when I came across the Urban Dictionary definition, which I found quite entertaining. It's worth checking out:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ROFLOLMAOMG)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
knock the betch out
(This may be the least clever way I've ever seen someone try to get around Yahoo's censor. An ! in place of the e would have been much more effective.)
look at him, confused.. thinking "what's wrong?" then walk away as if nothing happened
Eat a bagel
(That'll show him.)
Just because we don't know each other doesn't mean we can't love each other.
(Tell that to the dude who just popped you in the noggin.)
Go after them, then slap and punch them twice as hard, then walk away.........
Put them on life support.
go after that person and thump 'em all out ...i cant stand being dissed
(Yeah, it really hurts your street cred.)
Put a foot in their *** as they walk away.
(That's gonna make it hard to walk away.)
kick em in the shin he'd be limpin away
slap that person back lol
(Oh my, you are funny.)
Chase them and punch them.....
They wouldn't have that hand for very long.
id be up their butt demanding an explanation...which ultimately wouldnt help them any from me whoopin up on em
(It's a good idea, but i'd be in their face demanding an explanation instead. It would be way more effective and much less uncomfortable for both of you.)
find out what they were doing in my house
Quick, back-handed slap to the nuts, followed immediately by open palm-web thrust to exposed throat when his head instinctively moves forward in response to groin attack.
(You know, all they did was slap you. I think that first move is more than enough for your revenge. After that you've gone a step beyond cruel.)
slap dat ******* ***** so ******* hard she will cry home to her mom
i'd go f-ing ape s*** on their ***!
(How is that different from going normal s*** on someone's ***?)
grab them by the hair and slam their head into my knee and walk away without a word
(I've always wanted to do that to someone...)
i woudl wonder why they were in my bedroom at 12 at night???
put the smackdown on their candy ***
Go back to them, give them a dead leg, then a leg sweep (since they're now limping or hopping on one leg) then ask them why they just did that. If no answer comes out, then I'd punch them in the jejunum, which is a part of your lower intestine, and when punched, it makes them throw up.
(I can't imagine the jejunum makes it into attack plans very often.)
Id probably grab him/her and punch them then throw them out my window on 2nd floor n act like i never knew about it n that it never happened lol i wuld
first of all i dont think anyone in their right mind would do such a thing .. and if they did my --- would react right away and attack them back ..
I'd say HEY!!!! then when they walk off jump on their back and punch their head
I will tap the persons shoulder and when they turn around take their picture and go report to the police . If you hit the person back you are also doing something wrong .
Beat the ---- out of him/her
Report them to the Police.
Spit on them.
go to them and politely slap the **** out of them till im happy and cuss and whatever will make me pleased to get revenge :)
(At least you would do it politely.)
I'd body slam them to the ground. And then I would walk away and call them a ******.
laugh and then go and gleefully kick their ---
Beat the ______ out of them
kick their ****!
(I'm having a hard time figuring out what foul word he said here that was four letters long.)
I probably deserved it.
(That's right you did.)
probably stick my tongue out at them and them smack them back XD
be bewildered,shout back at them, and if the person duznt reply, run ahead and kick ***....
(Administrative Comment: This is totally unrelated, but you may remember a while back that someone used the, I don't know what you'd call this, um, phrase I guess, "ROFLOLMAOM". Absolutely disgusted and very confused, I went hunting for the meaning, when I came across the Urban Dictionary definition, which I found quite entertaining. It's worth checking out:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ROFLOLMAOMG)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
June 18: Honor is dead.
You're playing poker in an old west saloon and you've just cheated the wrong cowboy. He jumps across the table, grabs you by the bolo tie and drags you out into the street. It's time for an old fashioned shootout. 10 paces. Now, it's a fairly nice day, so you would rather not die. Therefore, the way you see it, you have three options. Man up and try to beat this punk, run away while his back is turned and hope he doesn't catch you, or throw all honor away and shoot him while he's counting off his paces. You should know: your draw is average at best and you hit your target about as often as Shaq hits a free throw (that's bad). What do you do?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
You call upon chuck Norris.
(Should have seen this one coming.)
I would try to take him back inside and buy him a drink
(That wasn't an option.)
Have my friend cut him down long range with a rifle
(Neither was that. But I'll give you this: If you can accomplish this in the time that elapses in this scenario, you certainly deserve to live.)
Take 3 steps then turn around and shoot him.
Haha that'll teach 'em to mess with me.
go on with the shoot out if i die it will be with honor
I'd run.
P.S. I don't wear bolo ties. I really would rather be dead.
(One day someone is going to strangle you to death with a bolo tie and the irony will be awesome.)
Run away.
lol.
kill the guy while his back is turned and run like hell lolz
(I think the only way you can make "lol" or any similar expression worse is by adding a z to the end of it.)
i would call chuck norris
(I don't understand, do you have his phone number or is he like Spiderman and just always there when needed?)
Dig a hole fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Congratulations, you win the Idiot of the Day award. You choose to run, but go the only direction where he can trap and shoot you without exerting any effort. You deserve what's coming to you.)
when his back is turned shoot the muthaf*****
If I'm playing poker, I wouldn't have to cheat. I'm a bad mofo at poker. But if I were you, I guess I would shoot him in the back and run!!!
chuck Norris
(This really is getting out of hand.)
run away!!!
Fold your cards
Run Away
Knee him in the groin and beat him in the back of the neck with my desert eagle while hes bending over. Then elbow him in the spine and shoot his left thigh before grabbing my money and leaving.
-Bob
(Administrative Comment: Actually, this really is more of a personal note, so if you aren't part of a band called The Robbers, you can stop reading now. Really, it isn't worth your time, so go away. There's nothing left for you here. Fine, keep reading, but this won't have any significance to you at all and you will have wasted valuable seconds of your life.
I tried getting response on your song, but it's just not happening. It looks like you won't be able to make an appearance here after all. Only got four responses. Unlike us, you have apparently achieved high enough quality to where people don't feel compelled to share their dislike. I congratulate you.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
You call upon chuck Norris.
(Should have seen this one coming.)
I would try to take him back inside and buy him a drink
(That wasn't an option.)
Have my friend cut him down long range with a rifle
(Neither was that. But I'll give you this: If you can accomplish this in the time that elapses in this scenario, you certainly deserve to live.)
Take 3 steps then turn around and shoot him.
Haha that'll teach 'em to mess with me.
go on with the shoot out if i die it will be with honor
I'd run.
P.S. I don't wear bolo ties. I really would rather be dead.
(One day someone is going to strangle you to death with a bolo tie and the irony will be awesome.)
Run away.
lol.
kill the guy while his back is turned and run like hell lolz
(I think the only way you can make "lol" or any similar expression worse is by adding a z to the end of it.)
i would call chuck norris
(I don't understand, do you have his phone number or is he like Spiderman and just always there when needed?)
Dig a hole fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Congratulations, you win the Idiot of the Day award. You choose to run, but go the only direction where he can trap and shoot you without exerting any effort. You deserve what's coming to you.)
when his back is turned shoot the muthaf*****
If I'm playing poker, I wouldn't have to cheat. I'm a bad mofo at poker. But if I were you, I guess I would shoot him in the back and run!!!
chuck Norris
(This really is getting out of hand.)
run away!!!
Fold your cards
Run Away
Knee him in the groin and beat him in the back of the neck with my desert eagle while hes bending over. Then elbow him in the spine and shoot his left thigh before grabbing my money and leaving.
-Bob
(Administrative Comment: Actually, this really is more of a personal note, so if you aren't part of a band called The Robbers, you can stop reading now. Really, it isn't worth your time, so go away. There's nothing left for you here. Fine, keep reading, but this won't have any significance to you at all and you will have wasted valuable seconds of your life.
I tried getting response on your song, but it's just not happening. It looks like you won't be able to make an appearance here after all. Only got four responses. Unlike us, you have apparently achieved high enough quality to where people don't feel compelled to share their dislike. I congratulate you.)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
June 17: Thoughts
Slow night on Yahoo. Here are some thoughts for you. This is important stuff, make sure and read carefully. There may be a quiz.
- I was at Wal-Mart the other day and saw, when walking back to my vehicle, a car that had "Baby on Board" written on the back window in shoe polish. Now, I've seen these signs before and I think I understand the paranoia that goes into protecting one's offspring. But I think the people who use these Baby on Board signs kind of live in a fantasy world. This (along with any derivative of this) never happens, no matter how much you wish it did:
(Someone's driving along and spots a car with a Baby on Board sign)
"By George, there's a small child riding in yonder motor vehicle! I must take great care not to make violent contact with yonder motor vehicle using my own car. Here, I shall move over into the adjacent lane, which is clearly a perilous move considering it is far more crowded. For over in yonder lane I do not have to take nearly as much care concerning striking the vehicle of another. And if I am the cause of a severe and possibly fatal automotive accident, I at least can have the peace of mind of knowing I did not hit anyone that was courteous enough to inform me of the presence of a young lad or lass."
It's not like a "Student Driver" sign, where you avoid the vehicle because it might do something stupid to hurt you. The baby isn't driving the car. If I'm wrong, please prove it to me. Because if I am I'm going to write "Don't Hit Me!" in really big letters on my car.
- Never go to Wal-Mart at 5:30 in the afternoon. Unless of course you hate yourself and like fighting through thousands of people and waiting in really long lines. Optimal Wal-Mart shopping time is 10 Pm - 11 PM. The crowds aren't as big, and they haven't started stocking yet. This is one of the most valuable things I've learned in college.
- Dual monitor display is like the coolest thing ever.
- Just to reinforce what I said in my last group of thoughts, you should never read Moby Dick. It doesn't get any better in the last 200 pages.
- I've done something recently that I never thought I would do: I've watched about 10 hours of a single documentary. I know what you're thinking... "What would possess you to do that?", "Dear God, why?", "Why do you think I care?". These are questions I asked myself. Except for maybe that last one. But it's interesting stuff. It's called "Ken Burns' Baseball". Watch it if you like awesome things.
- I was at Wal-Mart the other day and saw, when walking back to my vehicle, a car that had "Baby on Board" written on the back window in shoe polish. Now, I've seen these signs before and I think I understand the paranoia that goes into protecting one's offspring. But I think the people who use these Baby on Board signs kind of live in a fantasy world. This (along with any derivative of this) never happens, no matter how much you wish it did:
(Someone's driving along and spots a car with a Baby on Board sign)
"By George, there's a small child riding in yonder motor vehicle! I must take great care not to make violent contact with yonder motor vehicle using my own car. Here, I shall move over into the adjacent lane, which is clearly a perilous move considering it is far more crowded. For over in yonder lane I do not have to take nearly as much care concerning striking the vehicle of another. And if I am the cause of a severe and possibly fatal automotive accident, I at least can have the peace of mind of knowing I did not hit anyone that was courteous enough to inform me of the presence of a young lad or lass."
It's not like a "Student Driver" sign, where you avoid the vehicle because it might do something stupid to hurt you. The baby isn't driving the car. If I'm wrong, please prove it to me. Because if I am I'm going to write "Don't Hit Me!" in really big letters on my car.
- Never go to Wal-Mart at 5:30 in the afternoon. Unless of course you hate yourself and like fighting through thousands of people and waiting in really long lines. Optimal Wal-Mart shopping time is 10 Pm - 11 PM. The crowds aren't as big, and they haven't started stocking yet. This is one of the most valuable things I've learned in college.
- Dual monitor display is like the coolest thing ever.
- Just to reinforce what I said in my last group of thoughts, you should never read Moby Dick. It doesn't get any better in the last 200 pages.
- I've done something recently that I never thought I would do: I've watched about 10 hours of a single documentary. I know what you're thinking... "What would possess you to do that?", "Dear God, why?", "Why do you think I care?". These are questions I asked myself. Except for maybe that last one. But it's interesting stuff. It's called "Ken Burns' Baseball". Watch it if you like awesome things.
Monday, June 15, 2009
June 16: Self-sacrifice for the sake of posting a quesiton.
What do you think of about this song?
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Yahoo! Answers:
Due to the nature of this question, I have once again taken the liberty of dividing the answers into categories that are both accurate reflections of their quality and totally unbiased.
People Who No Doubt Were Professional Music Critics Using Yahoo Answers
yes
(So blown away he could only muster up a single word. We tend to have that effect on people.)
I think I may be dumber after listening to it.
lol, funny though.
eh...?
(Yes, it was amazing wasn't it?)
Its pretty good.
Work on voice alot.
The meaning is definitely there.
(You have no idea. And you should lay off the singing. He was making up the words as he went along.)
uumm..........well..........
i think its original
(Thank you.)
Wow. Thats umm...Thats....Good?
(Yes.)
.........
(I think that about sums it up.)
not amazing but not horrible
(I'll take it.)
not exactly my cup of tea... but it made me laugh. thanks for that:)
(You are quite welcome.)
People Who Don't Like Music
i listened to about 10 seconds...it's not very good
(You should have listened to the rest of it.)
15 seconds in I turned it back... sorry, lol
(Same deal.)
In the immortal words of Butt Head:"Huh! Huh! What the hell is this crap? They suck! Huh! Huh! Huh!"
(I'm glad you didn't like it. People who quote Butt Head aren't exactly in our target fan base.)
HORRIBLE!!!
its not that good.
(You're not that good.)
not that good
uh no
i like this:
(She posted a link to the new Papa Roach song "I Almost Told You That I Loved You", a song so graphic I'm shocked they're allowed to play it on the radio.)
Fool
ill check the song tomorrow
why?
1)I'm on my laptop, in my bed
2)Ppl would wake up coz its 1:30am
3)I dont have headphones
(Administrative Comment: So, yesterday. Bottom line: I got distracted. Therefore, no post. My bad.)
(Administrative Comment #2: I'm seriously considering posting a similar question using a song by the Robbers. Anyone objecting to this has, oh, let's say... 48 hours to make your concerns known.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Due to the nature of this question, I have once again taken the liberty of dividing the answers into categories that are both accurate reflections of their quality and totally unbiased.
People Who No Doubt Were Professional Music Critics Using Yahoo Answers
yes
(So blown away he could only muster up a single word. We tend to have that effect on people.)
I think I may be dumber after listening to it.
lol, funny though.
eh...?
(Yes, it was amazing wasn't it?)
Its pretty good.
Work on voice alot.
The meaning is definitely there.
(You have no idea. And you should lay off the singing. He was making up the words as he went along.)
uumm..........well..........
i think its original
(Thank you.)
Wow. Thats umm...Thats....Good?
(Yes.)
.........
(I think that about sums it up.)
not amazing but not horrible
(I'll take it.)
not exactly my cup of tea... but it made me laugh. thanks for that:)
(You are quite welcome.)
People Who Don't Like Music
i listened to about 10 seconds...it's not very good
(You should have listened to the rest of it.)
15 seconds in I turned it back... sorry, lol
(Same deal.)
In the immortal words of Butt Head:"Huh! Huh! What the hell is this crap? They suck! Huh! Huh! Huh!"
(I'm glad you didn't like it. People who quote Butt Head aren't exactly in our target fan base.)
HORRIBLE!!!
its not that good.
(You're not that good.)
not that good
uh no
i like this:
(She posted a link to the new Papa Roach song "I Almost Told You That I Loved You", a song so graphic I'm shocked they're allowed to play it on the radio.)
Fool
ill check the song tomorrow
why?
1)I'm on my laptop, in my bed
2)Ppl would wake up coz its 1:30am
3)I dont have headphones
(Administrative Comment: So, yesterday. Bottom line: I got distracted. Therefore, no post. My bad.)
(Administrative Comment #2: I'm seriously considering posting a similar question using a song by the Robbers. Anyone objecting to this has, oh, let's say... 48 hours to make your concerns known.)
Thursday, June 11, 2009
June 12: I don't really even like Trix. But it's the principle of the thing.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of this freakin' rabbit trying to steal my Trix. We need to do something about it. How do we stop him?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Try to get the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms to help you out, maybe that'll help.
(I tried, but he just kept running away screaming something like, "You'll never get me Lucky Charms!" Psychopath...)
Why not just give him Trix?
(They're mine.)
quit poppin pills then u'll prolly be better........................
nothing beats the stopping power of a .357 Magnum revolver or a .40 cal semi-auto pistol.
Give him his **** Trix. He'll leave you alone if you give him a box.
(As I said, they're mine.)
I give don't know why we can't just give it too him. Poor guy.
I want a world where rabbits can eat cereal without being chased by crazy kids.
Add some cyanide to the next bowl... just make sure the wife don't know or well, then again, I'll be an alibi.. ;)... lol, jk
you're a retard
give the box to the trix rabbit.
(If I'm a retard for asking the question, what does that make you for answering it?)
trap him
like the ones in movies.
idk!
(Yes, because I've seen all those movies where the people are trapping rabbits.)
give him a job and directions to a walmart
I always felt sorry for the Trix Rabbit b/c he never actually got to sit down and take a bite of the cereal. Maybe he needs to get a real rabbit job so that he can afford his own Trix cereal...
*Source*: Growing up feeling sorry for the Trix Rabbit, Charlie Brown not being able to kick Lucy's football, and Lucky the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms cereal...
(That's a sad childhood.)
With a GIANT ROBOT!!!! AND LAZERS
do it like Wil. E Coyote and call the acme company...
(Yeah, that worked out soooo well for him.)
The simplest way to stop him is to take out his everlasting batteries, that will stop him in his tracks lol...!
(I think you're slightly confused, but I have to say... The Trix rabbit running on Energizer would be an unstoppable force.)
(Administrative Comment: Long ago in a land far away from here there was a village that was situated at the foot of a small mountain. The people who lived in this village were the Trids, a secluded group known chiefly for their small stature. Overall the Trids were a happy people. They enjoyed chocolate, chess, and frolicking. But one thing that made the Trids sad was that they could not frolic on the mountain by their village. You see, there was a giant who lived on this mountain overlooking the village of the Trids, and anytime a Trid would try to ascend even a short way up the mountain, the giant would come and give them a swift kick to send them rolling back down into the village. This troubled the Trids. Why would anyone want to do this to such a harmless, happy group of folks? One day one of the smarter Trids had a great idea. "Let's call the rabbi from the next town," this Trid exclaimed, "he'll know what to do!" His fellow villagers found this to be a fantastic idea, for this particular rabbi's wisdom was praised throughout the land. So the Trids invited the rabbi to the village and, after learning of the predicament faced by the poor Trids, he agreed to go and see if he could talk some sense into the giant. The next day the rabbi set off up the mountain, always ready to be kicked back down again. But the rabbi marched on for several minutes without a kick. Finally he saw the giant sitting on a rock a little way up the slope. He carefully approached. The giant looked up and saw him, but did nothing. After a momentary pause, the rabbi continued up to where the giant was sitting. Getting the giant's attention, the rabbi said, "Mr. Giant, forgive me, but I don't seem to understand. Why did you not come and kick me down the mountain when you saw me?" The giant looked thoughtfully at the rabbi and, smirking slightly, said, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!")
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Try to get the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms to help you out, maybe that'll help.
(I tried, but he just kept running away screaming something like, "You'll never get me Lucky Charms!" Psychopath...)
Why not just give him Trix?
(They're mine.)
quit poppin pills then u'll prolly be better........................
nothing beats the stopping power of a .357 Magnum revolver or a .40 cal semi-auto pistol.
Give him his **** Trix. He'll leave you alone if you give him a box.
(As I said, they're mine.)
I give don't know why we can't just give it too him. Poor guy.
I want a world where rabbits can eat cereal without being chased by crazy kids.
Add some cyanide to the next bowl... just make sure the wife don't know or well, then again, I'll be an alibi.. ;)... lol, jk
you're a retard
give the box to the trix rabbit.
(If I'm a retard for asking the question, what does that make you for answering it?)
trap him
like the ones in movies.
idk!
(Yes, because I've seen all those movies where the people are trapping rabbits.)
give him a job and directions to a walmart
I always felt sorry for the Trix Rabbit b/c he never actually got to sit down and take a bite of the cereal. Maybe he needs to get a real rabbit job so that he can afford his own Trix cereal...
*Source*: Growing up feeling sorry for the Trix Rabbit, Charlie Brown not being able to kick Lucy's football, and Lucky the Leprechaun from Lucky Charms cereal...
(That's a sad childhood.)
With a GIANT ROBOT!!!! AND LAZERS
do it like Wil. E Coyote and call the acme company...
(Yeah, that worked out soooo well for him.)
The simplest way to stop him is to take out his everlasting batteries, that will stop him in his tracks lol...!
(I think you're slightly confused, but I have to say... The Trix rabbit running on Energizer would be an unstoppable force.)
(Administrative Comment: Long ago in a land far away from here there was a village that was situated at the foot of a small mountain. The people who lived in this village were the Trids, a secluded group known chiefly for their small stature. Overall the Trids were a happy people. They enjoyed chocolate, chess, and frolicking. But one thing that made the Trids sad was that they could not frolic on the mountain by their village. You see, there was a giant who lived on this mountain overlooking the village of the Trids, and anytime a Trid would try to ascend even a short way up the mountain, the giant would come and give them a swift kick to send them rolling back down into the village. This troubled the Trids. Why would anyone want to do this to such a harmless, happy group of folks? One day one of the smarter Trids had a great idea. "Let's call the rabbi from the next town," this Trid exclaimed, "he'll know what to do!" His fellow villagers found this to be a fantastic idea, for this particular rabbi's wisdom was praised throughout the land. So the Trids invited the rabbi to the village and, after learning of the predicament faced by the poor Trids, he agreed to go and see if he could talk some sense into the giant. The next day the rabbi set off up the mountain, always ready to be kicked back down again. But the rabbi marched on for several minutes without a kick. Finally he saw the giant sitting on a rock a little way up the slope. He carefully approached. The giant looked up and saw him, but did nothing. After a momentary pause, the rabbi continued up to where the giant was sitting. Getting the giant's attention, the rabbi said, "Mr. Giant, forgive me, but I don't seem to understand. Why did you not come and kick me down the mountain when you saw me?" The giant looked thoughtfully at the rabbi and, smirking slightly, said, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!")
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
June 11: You can blame this one on Mother Nature.
Setting - A lonely old diner, sometime in the distant future. Outside it rains. An old man sits alone at the bar. A young business traveler enters.
Youngster: Wow, it's really coming down out there. I had to pull off the road, let it pass.
Geezer: Ha, you think this is a story do ye. You've never seen a storm young'un. Let me tell ye about one of the greatest storms I ever did see...
Youngster: Actually, sir, I'd rather you di-
Geezer: It was back in the summer of, oh, I believe it was 'Ot 9. 'Twas a day like any other. Until the rains came. You could see it darkening in the distance. The horizon warned of a gale not often seen in these parts. And it delivered on its word. When the sirens sounded we knew it was a-comin' this way. But this had o'course happened before, so we worried not. But soon the sky became dark as the dead o' night. Right after we brought the dog safely into shelter the rains began. First a drizzle. Then a steady shower. And then a downpour. Sheets and sheets of water. And the wind. Lord Almighty, the wind! It howled louder than a pack o' wolves. The weatherman spoke of it ripping up 100 year old oak trees. Oh, how it blew!
Youngster: Wow, that sounds like quite a storm. Now I real-
Geezer: 'Twasn't 20 minutes later that the power did begin to flicker. Just on and off at first. But then the big one hit. No electricity at all. And meanwhile the storm raged. The rain fell. The wind blew. The Ranger game was canceled. But it didn't matter, for we were not destined to watch any more TV that night anyway. The electricity was gone, and it seemed as if it would never return. It did eventually, but it was over 6 hours later. 6 hours! 'Twas a boring night. Phones were dead. Computers inaccessible. Everything entertaining needed a plug! Perhaps the greatest travesty was that it prevented the posting of my question. My fan's tears fell like the rain outside. A sad day indeed! But, yes... that, son, was a storm.
Youngster: Hmm... What do you mean "posting of a question"?
Geezer: You are too nosy, sonny Jim. Can't an old man sit in peace? Go away!
Youngster: But you-
Geezer: You heard me! Skedaddle!
*Young business traveler goes to the other side of the diner*
Geezer: Dad blame young'uns, always buttin' inta other people's business. Probably uses chatspeak like the rest of 'em...
Youngster: Wow, it's really coming down out there. I had to pull off the road, let it pass.
Geezer: Ha, you think this is a story do ye. You've never seen a storm young'un. Let me tell ye about one of the greatest storms I ever did see...
Youngster: Actually, sir, I'd rather you di-
Geezer: It was back in the summer of, oh, I believe it was 'Ot 9. 'Twas a day like any other. Until the rains came. You could see it darkening in the distance. The horizon warned of a gale not often seen in these parts. And it delivered on its word. When the sirens sounded we knew it was a-comin' this way. But this had o'course happened before, so we worried not. But soon the sky became dark as the dead o' night. Right after we brought the dog safely into shelter the rains began. First a drizzle. Then a steady shower. And then a downpour. Sheets and sheets of water. And the wind. Lord Almighty, the wind! It howled louder than a pack o' wolves. The weatherman spoke of it ripping up 100 year old oak trees. Oh, how it blew!
Youngster: Wow, that sounds like quite a storm. Now I real-
Geezer: 'Twasn't 20 minutes later that the power did begin to flicker. Just on and off at first. But then the big one hit. No electricity at all. And meanwhile the storm raged. The rain fell. The wind blew. The Ranger game was canceled. But it didn't matter, for we were not destined to watch any more TV that night anyway. The electricity was gone, and it seemed as if it would never return. It did eventually, but it was over 6 hours later. 6 hours! 'Twas a boring night. Phones were dead. Computers inaccessible. Everything entertaining needed a plug! Perhaps the greatest travesty was that it prevented the posting of my question. My fan's tears fell like the rain outside. A sad day indeed! But, yes... that, son, was a storm.
Youngster: Hmm... What do you mean "posting of a question"?
Geezer: You are too nosy, sonny Jim. Can't an old man sit in peace? Go away!
Youngster: But you-
Geezer: You heard me! Skedaddle!
*Young business traveler goes to the other side of the diner*
Geezer: Dad blame young'uns, always buttin' inta other people's business. Probably uses chatspeak like the rest of 'em...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
June 10: The key is working on the transition from sitting to sprinting.
It's 2016, and you're about to live your lifelong dream. You are representing your home country in the olympics, and you've reached the final match of the Duck, Duck, Goose event. Fame and glory await you. But the match will be tough. Your opponents are fierce. There's the Nigerian, the Swede, the Spaniard, the Hungarian, and (in a big upset) the Peruvian. But you, you will be victorious, because you have a fool-proof gameplan. What is it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Wow, I should really update my calender
(It's amazing how time flies when you're doing some intense Duck, Duck, Goose training.)
Goose the first person. That'll surprise them!
(That never works.)
My plan is to give them all a good hit of marijuana before the game. So before the game they will all get stoned. So when they are playing they can just run around and do random stuff. So i win!! Yay me!!!
Intensive body odor. NOBODY wants to get that much yuck on their hand.
(I don't think you should be willing to sacrifice your hygiene to where you stink so bad no one will touch you. It's not worth it.)
My lifelong dream isn't to be in the Olympics, hell I've never even watched them before.
take a small pocket knife with you and when that ****** foreign basterd calls you a goose give him a quick stab in the ankle. I bet that **** will work
HAHA ROFLOLMFAOMG at the first answer.
Same. I only watch swimming and gymnastics :p
(Really? Really? ROFLOLMFAOMG? *exasperated beyond the point of comment*)
I want to be a super saiyan though... : (
(Good for you.)
its getting up before they tap me
(That's a good way to get a lifetime ban from the International Duck, Duck, Goose League.)
uhhm
shorter people will have shorter limbs right? So Ill tag the shortest one there after faking it. I will still need to work on my agility though
Oil slicks in the back of my shoes man : ] gets them EVERYTIME
What if I don't plan on going to the olympics or ever playing Duck, Duck, Goose with other countries? If I had to answer, I guess I'd just stick it out there and try my best? Does that count?
(No. That's lame.)
drink a red bull before the match to give me the boost i need to out run them.
(And wings. Don't forget about the wings. That will be a huge advantage.)
keep hitting them on their heads really hard until i knock them out =]
Wow, unreal, I never gave it a thought, lol, but I'm working on it now...!
I would duck first...but then duck and goose simultaneously. I better get my finger ready...
I would duck the Nigerian, duck the Spaniard, duck the Hungarian, and duck the Peruvian, but then GOOSE the swede! The Swede sounds like the slowest of all of them.
With my luck he'd be some ultra-fast bodybuilder -_-
(Administrative Comment: I'm actually kind of disappointed that no one pointed this out, but... I'm pretty sure you can't actually win Duck, Duck, Goose. It just goes on and on until somebody gets tired of it. I could be wrong. It has been a long time.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
Wow, I should really update my calender
(It's amazing how time flies when you're doing some intense Duck, Duck, Goose training.)
Goose the first person. That'll surprise them!
(That never works.)
My plan is to give them all a good hit of marijuana before the game. So before the game they will all get stoned. So when they are playing they can just run around and do random stuff. So i win!! Yay me!!!
Intensive body odor. NOBODY wants to get that much yuck on their hand.
(I don't think you should be willing to sacrifice your hygiene to where you stink so bad no one will touch you. It's not worth it.)
My lifelong dream isn't to be in the Olympics, hell I've never even watched them before.
take a small pocket knife with you and when that ****** foreign basterd calls you a goose give him a quick stab in the ankle. I bet that **** will work
HAHA ROFLOLMFAOMG at the first answer.
Same. I only watch swimming and gymnastics :p
(Really? Really? ROFLOLMFAOMG? *exasperated beyond the point of comment*)
I want to be a super saiyan though... : (
(Good for you.)
its getting up before they tap me
(That's a good way to get a lifetime ban from the International Duck, Duck, Goose League.)
uhhm
shorter people will have shorter limbs right? So Ill tag the shortest one there after faking it. I will still need to work on my agility though
Oil slicks in the back of my shoes man : ] gets them EVERYTIME
What if I don't plan on going to the olympics or ever playing Duck, Duck, Goose with other countries? If I had to answer, I guess I'd just stick it out there and try my best? Does that count?
(No. That's lame.)
drink a red bull before the match to give me the boost i need to out run them.
(And wings. Don't forget about the wings. That will be a huge advantage.)
keep hitting them on their heads really hard until i knock them out =]
Wow, unreal, I never gave it a thought, lol, but I'm working on it now...!
I would duck first...but then duck and goose simultaneously. I better get my finger ready...
I would duck the Nigerian, duck the Spaniard, duck the Hungarian, and duck the Peruvian, but then GOOSE the swede! The Swede sounds like the slowest of all of them.
With my luck he'd be some ultra-fast bodybuilder -_-
(Administrative Comment: I'm actually kind of disappointed that no one pointed this out, but... I'm pretty sure you can't actually win Duck, Duck, Goose. It just goes on and on until somebody gets tired of it. I could be wrong. It has been a long time.)
Monday, June 8, 2009
June 9: If you take the same thing and put it in a casino in Vegas, way more people end up dead.
You are a contestant on the new Let's Make A Deal Extreme. You have reached the big deal of the day and are faced with three doors. Now you have two options. The first is to take your chances and pick a door. Behind one door is the grand prize: eternal happiness, love, and more money than you've ever seen (it's crazy what they give away nowadays). Behind another door is a huge gator that will no doubt disembowel you in the most painful way possible. The last one contains an illusion of the grand prize which lasts for 5 seconds, after which you are disemboweled by a slightly smaller gator (you get to die with a false sense of joy). Your second option is to walk away with your winnings for the day: $2.38 and some acne cream. Do you try a door or walk away? And what door would you pick if you go for it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
DOOR !
(GATOR!)
errrr??
(Oh, that's a shame. They reserve the biggest gator for indecisive people.)
What kind of acne cream?
I pick door 2.
-crosses fingers-
(You won! Oh, wait... nope. Gator.)
id take 2.38 and the acne cream, always dreamed of clear skin, lol but i dont want to risk being slaughtered alive by a gator on a game show, thats just not me....hehe
So I have a 66% of being disemboweled by a huge gator in the most painful way possible?
I'll take the acne cream.
(Actually it's more like 67% with rounding.)
$2.38 and some acne cream? I'd be more than happy to trade it for a chance at eternal happiness!
(Not even recognizing the existence of the gators... That's bold.)
i think i could do with the acne cream
I'd pack my bag with the $2.38....they can keep the acne cream. I would then whine about it not being fair play with those two gators....
I'd walk away with the $2.38 and acne cream. I'm not going to risk my life.
I'd walk away with the cash and the cream! I've always been insecure about my acne, besides, there's a 2/3 chance that I'll get the gator if I pick the doors!
I would bring a gun with me and shot the aligator and choose another door. And then if they dont let me then I would shot them and take the grand prize =]
(If you had read the rules beforehand you would have seen that firearms are strictly prohibited and that anyone violating this rule loses a chance at the grand prize. It is instead replaced behind its door with a gator of equal or lesser size than the largest one along with a moderately sized crocodile and a copy of Deadliest Catch: Season One.)
Hey, for $2.12 I could buy two ice cream cones at Mcd's. Isn't that eternal happiness?? Besides, $2.38 and one tube of acne cream richer than when I came.
I would walk away. I'd rather make my own extreme happiness than risk losing everything.
if i'm on that show i obviously have no life anyways.. i'd take my chances.. door number one
(You truly have no life now. You just got gatored.)
Um hello? Risk my life? I don't think so. At least walking away I would be happy with my acne cream.
DUH... I would choose a door and pick the one with the grand prize: eternal happiness, love, and more money than I've ever seen.
(DUH... You don't know where it is beforehand. I hope you get the gator.)
I would go for it. If I got one of the gators, I would stab it's eyes, for it would immediately let go (one of their weaknesses!)!!!!
At least I'd have my life!
(I don't think you understand how very large these gators are.)
I'd definitely walk away
I'd walk away with the money and the acne cream. I could buy some chocolate, and sell the acne cream at my next yard sale and buy MORE chocolate! Mmm...
walk away, my life is just fine, i'm not going to gamble it.
good creativity though.
walk away. life is more important than money, especially since there is a 2 out of 3 chance of dying. But if it were a cartoon i would pick one of the doors.
I'd walk away rather than losing my acne cream : )
I really need one cause I have this annoying acne on my face that I really want to get rid of.
and $2.38 is really worth it. I could buy something worthy on eBay
well nothing will happened to your life if you don't take risks..sometimes you have to gamble and accept it if you lost..so yeah bring it on..lol.
(Accept it if you lost. How appropriate given the most probable result... This a great way to model the five stages of grief.
Denial - "Oh, I did not just pick the gator door."
Anger - ""I knew I should have picked door number three! Stupid! Stupid!"
Bargaining - "Please Mr. Gator, don't eat me. I'll give you my Wheat Thins!"
Depression - "I am sad that a gator is about to disembowel me."
Acceptance - "That gator is seconds from tearing me to shreds. Oh well, at least I got on TV!")
(Administrative Comment: Door number three really did contain the eternal happiness, love, and wealth. It's really a shame no one picked it.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
DOOR !
(GATOR!)
errrr??
(Oh, that's a shame. They reserve the biggest gator for indecisive people.)
What kind of acne cream?
I pick door 2.
-crosses fingers-
(You won! Oh, wait... nope. Gator.)
id take 2.38 and the acne cream, always dreamed of clear skin, lol but i dont want to risk being slaughtered alive by a gator on a game show, thats just not me....hehe
So I have a 66% of being disemboweled by a huge gator in the most painful way possible?
I'll take the acne cream.
(Actually it's more like 67% with rounding.)
$2.38 and some acne cream? I'd be more than happy to trade it for a chance at eternal happiness!
(Not even recognizing the existence of the gators... That's bold.)
i think i could do with the acne cream
I'd pack my bag with the $2.38....they can keep the acne cream. I would then whine about it not being fair play with those two gators....
I'd walk away with the $2.38 and acne cream. I'm not going to risk my life.
I'd walk away with the cash and the cream! I've always been insecure about my acne, besides, there's a 2/3 chance that I'll get the gator if I pick the doors!
I would bring a gun with me and shot the aligator and choose another door. And then if they dont let me then I would shot them and take the grand prize =]
(If you had read the rules beforehand you would have seen that firearms are strictly prohibited and that anyone violating this rule loses a chance at the grand prize. It is instead replaced behind its door with a gator of equal or lesser size than the largest one along with a moderately sized crocodile and a copy of Deadliest Catch: Season One.)
Hey, for $2.12 I could buy two ice cream cones at Mcd's. Isn't that eternal happiness?? Besides, $2.38 and one tube of acne cream richer than when I came.
I would walk away. I'd rather make my own extreme happiness than risk losing everything.
if i'm on that show i obviously have no life anyways.. i'd take my chances.. door number one
(You truly have no life now. You just got gatored.)
Um hello? Risk my life? I don't think so. At least walking away I would be happy with my acne cream.
DUH... I would choose a door and pick the one with the grand prize: eternal happiness, love, and more money than I've ever seen.
(DUH... You don't know where it is beforehand. I hope you get the gator.)
I would go for it. If I got one of the gators, I would stab it's eyes, for it would immediately let go (one of their weaknesses!)!!!!
At least I'd have my life!
(I don't think you understand how very large these gators are.)
I'd definitely walk away
I'd walk away with the money and the acne cream. I could buy some chocolate, and sell the acne cream at my next yard sale and buy MORE chocolate! Mmm...
walk away, my life is just fine, i'm not going to gamble it.
good creativity though.
walk away. life is more important than money, especially since there is a 2 out of 3 chance of dying. But if it were a cartoon i would pick one of the doors.
I'd walk away rather than losing my acne cream : )
I really need one cause I have this annoying acne on my face that I really want to get rid of.
and $2.38 is really worth it. I could buy something worthy on eBay
well nothing will happened to your life if you don't take risks..sometimes you have to gamble and accept it if you lost..so yeah bring it on..lol.
(Accept it if you lost. How appropriate given the most probable result... This a great way to model the five stages of grief.
Denial - "Oh, I did not just pick the gator door."
Anger - ""I knew I should have picked door number three! Stupid! Stupid!"
Bargaining - "Please Mr. Gator, don't eat me. I'll give you my Wheat Thins!"
Depression - "I am sad that a gator is about to disembowel me."
Acceptance - "That gator is seconds from tearing me to shreds. Oh well, at least I got on TV!")
(Administrative Comment: Door number three really did contain the eternal happiness, love, and wealth. It's really a shame no one picked it.)
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