Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Apr. 1: These guys are fools year round.

Where did that rock to my right come from?

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Yahoo! Answers:

robby the rock! thats where you went... krazy rock...

Your crack dealer?

From outer space that's a meteorite.. =)

Space aliens.

It's not there... It's the shrooms...
(Whoa... cool.)

Mars

That's not a rock....
(Yes it is... Oh, wait, my bad. It's a giraffe.)

under my bed!! 0-0
(I've been looking at it for a while now trying to figure it out, but I must admit that I have no idea what 0-0 is supposed to be/mean.)

defiantly not the ground April Fools!
(That would be ridiculous.)

sorry about that. Did i hit you?

came from your mum's bum she went walking one day got lost ate some freaky berrys triped out saw some rocks mistook them for candy ate one and then shat it out right next to you for you to see lol
(Dude, they've got these things now, they're all the rage. They're called commas. They break up your sentence to make it readable and come with the added bonus of helping mask the fact that you are mentally deficient.)

Sure it's a rock? Is it still to your right?

your back yard

Space

Popped out of your ear. no?

umm... i don't know

from your right hand???

wtf
(WTF indeed.)

it was there when you got there, the question is were did you come from(^_^)
(I hate to disappoint you, but that actually was the question. Turns out you're not clever at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.)

Were not you born with it?
(They told me no one would notice...)

Me, when I hit you with it repeatedly and then I hit you in the head. That's why you don't remember!

Outer space

its your pet rock, duh!
(Larry, I told you to stay home! Why did you follow me? Sorry, folks, I should have recognized him.)

I put it there yesterday. I thought it would be ironic.

That's Johnny. Don't you remember that night in Vegas?

It came from your right. you answered your own question.

Crap. Sorry, wasn't aiming for you. I was aiming for that jellyfish's head behind you. My bad . . .

through your window for asking questions like that

i threw at you but i missed

Monday, March 30, 2009

Mar. 31: You never know when I'll take something you say and turn it into a question.

So, I'm going to propose to my girlfriend and I've got this plan. She really likes animals, so I'm going to get a live raccoon, attach the ring to its leg, shave "I ♥ you" or "Will you marry me?" into its fur, and leave it in her house for her to find. What do you think? Good plan right?

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Yahoo! Answers:

hahah no wonder your alone
(Ouch.)

That's a terrible idea! Just figure out her favorite animal.
(Not worth it. Too much work.)

Is your last name "Darling"?
(No, it's not.)

It would be funnier if it was a dead raccoon

Hide the ring in the raccoon's poop and let her find the smell.
(Of course... Brilliant.)

oh my word.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! o ur serious.......

If she don't shoot it or you before she reads it.

Go with a badger, and put a bow on him too.

Oh gawd yeah!! Ooooo .. I know, then, when the raccoon launches itself towards your girlfriend, and attaches itself to her nose with it's razor-sharp fangs .. you can sing "You Light Up My Life". She'll say yes, guaranteed!!
*sigh* Why do other woman always get the romantic guys? :(


nooo?????? get a fake animal or a cat or dog!!! Racoons are vicious wild animals.
1) They wont sit still while you shave them dummy! They will attack you or not run where you want it to! WTH r u thinking?
2) It will freak her out. Trust me. Just do it another animal way. I suggest like take her to an animal shelter and tell her you picked out a cat or dog or bird or something and have the animal have a ribbon with the ring tied on around its neck or leg or something.
(I would rather attempt to shave a raccoon than a cat.)

Your kidding right? Or...are you pretending that you are pretending to kid?
(Um...yes...wait, no...uh.... *head explodes*)

Maybe u should get her a puppy wit a blanket around it that says that she gets a new cute puppy not a dirty creepy raccooon and she might get mad at u for shaving it and leaving a creepy raccoooon without her knowing and the dog when it gets older will always remind u of that hot night
(Run on sentence fail!)

raccoons are too vicious, if your gonna do that do a tamer animal.

it is good until the raccoon bites her and gives her rabies
(She'll understand.)

that is so tight! very very clever congratulations!
(I was holding out hope that no one would actually see this as a good idea.)

I'm thinking not. Sorry, but I really hope you're kidding.

cute but I think she'd kinda be freaked out about the raccoon part. Aw, just dont make it painful :S

lol put it in a cage lol she might freak if its eating her underwear

its a good plan but a racoon try maybe a feret
(Please explain to me how that's better.)

awww dont shave the poor animal :(

HAHAHAHA NOOO!!!!! dont do that well atleast not the "leave it in her house part"

how are you going to not get a wild racconn thats not going to attack her?
(I'm not. It'll be part of the magic of the moment.)

you will find out how good the idea is when you catch the raccoon
good luck shaving it
please email me the pictures of you and your coon

yea man! awesome thinking. i'm going to do something like that for my girlfriend too. Maybe something less rabid and less garbage eating though.

mmm not really. its a very creative and a unique idea.. but might be TOO crazy. or actually IS too crazy. u want to make it romantic and sweet, not crazy and weird. so lets think of something else other than having wild animals running around the house with sum fur messing. not so romantic

The raccoon will attack her but yeah do it, maybe then you can purpose to her in the hospital. good luck though, she will really appreciate it.

Um the raccoon part is crazy and if you shave i love you into its fur that's mean. First get a different animal and then figure out how to say I love you or will you marry me with out shaving it.

Well think of it this way.
She'll either think of it totally tacky but adorable and love it. Or
She'll be really offended that you abused and animal like that and yell at you for treating it so badly. Thus you should get another plan
so its 50/50 you decide whether you should take the risk or not
(50/50... I like those odds!)

actually i really don't think that is a good plan unless the raccoon is house trained and wont ripe up and of her stuff and unless she is like in love with animals that she would not mind you letting a raccoon rum wild through her house

umm it may be sneckey but it's your chose
*Source*: here
(Well said.)

Uhmm.. ok well there is a few minor (what's that word) faults in your plan
1)what if the racoon tears up her furnature
2) what if the racoon gets out and you never see that ring again
3)what if she thinks that it was cruel to shave that into an animal
4)what if she wants to keep the racoon?
5) don't you want to be there for her answer and how she reacts?
(Answers:
1) Don't care. It's not my furniture. Why do you think I'm using her house?
2) I'll just go pick up another one. It was only $.75 from that toy dispenser.
3) It wasn't meant to be.
4) She won't. She's allergic.
5) Are you kidding me? There's going to be a wild, hungry raccoon there. She can just tell me about it later.)

No what if it attacks her or what if she thinks it is mean for you to shave that into an animal. I think you should fine an other way to propose to her and GOOD LUCK! Oh Use a duck or a goose and tie the ring and a note around its neck and have it ask if she will marry you.

Horrible plan. The raccoon can be carrying diseases, can destroy the house, and if she cares for animals, she wouldn't want you to shave an animal and tie a ring around its foot. You should take her to the zoo and maybe ask if they can take you on a special private tour and then propose to her that way.

Not really. It will probably scare the crap out of her, if you leave it for her to find. It might also destroy her house, or part of it, depending on how long you leave the raccoon by it's self. And are you for sure she likes raccoons. Where would you even be getting this raccoon, if it's wild or something, it would be disgusting, and maybe have a disease.
(Oh, I don't know. I like to think that the dumpster behind my house is relatively clean.)

oh nooo.
dont do it, i loove animals too and i def wouldnt want you to take a an
imal and ruin its beautiful fur and scare it to death while shaving it. it might really scare her to come home and see a wild animal in the house. rethink it

Ummm sorta..
Maybe not the shaving part.. kinda gross haha.


Not a good idea. Even thought I love animals, I wouldn't recommend a raccoon, but I would recommend a dog. If she really loves animals and hates animal abuse, not a really good idea.

where the HECK are u gona get a raccoon?
dude if she likes anima
ls get her a CUTE PUPPY


(
Administrative Comment: I really freaked out the 'Singles and Dating' group with this one. And good news, ladies, no part of this is true, so I'm still available! You can contact me at [text limit reached])

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Mar. 30: I swear to you, I've never used any kind of recreational drugs. Now, with that in mind...

Walking down a winding yellow brick road toward a majestic castle, you spot a green dog. It approaches you and your companion, a flying marmoset named Scaggs, and informs you that the road to Atlantis has been blocked by a magical zeppelin. What do you do now?

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Yahoo! Answers:

turn around and walk back

shut the f up.
(Interesting strategy. According to Scaggs, you never actually were speaking, and he's pretty reliable as flying marmosets go. So good luck with that.)

kick the dog and keep it movin
(Legal note: Stupid Question of the Day does not condone any sort of violence against animals. Unless of course Steve is in some way involved.)

Wonder what the heck I am doing with my life by doing drugs. Just say no to drugs.

i would keep the dog.

Open my rolled up Magic Carpet. Weeeeeeeeeeee l can Flyyyyyyyyyy
Can you See me Mama?

I hope that I wake up


whoa....
(I know, right? Where do I come up with this stuff?)

i'd go anyways because i don't know this damn green dog. could be a trick.

I wake up..lol ..no i probably would ask what a magical zeppelin was and how to un block it..and then ask where i was and what a flyng marmoset was..a bad whitch or a good whitch?
(A bad whitch. Now, what are you talking about?)

blow my self up with a satchel charge

think i am in a fairytale and keep going seeing as my prince charming awaits me on da other side and good always wins in fairytales
(Except this one. You and Scaggs were just killed in a nasty zeppelin explosion. You should have listened to the green dog.)

get puking on a washbowl...

Turn around?

i think i would get the flying marmoset scaggs to pick up the dog and bring the dog over the zeppelin to Atlantis to go get help why you run around in circles.
*Source*: Man vs. Wild
(You see people? It's as simple as that.)

i would take the green dog home and sell it on ebay . im sure i could get a nice chunk for a green dog ...
(Especially one that talks...)

go back

get on the zeppelin of course.

(Oh good. I'm glad at least one person indicated that they knew what a zeppelin was.)

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mar. 27: Why, yes, I did just do this just so I could mock the people who actually care.

Why do Yahoo Answers points matter so much? Really, in the grand scheme of the universe, what's the point (thank you, that was a clever pun). You can't use them as currency. They don't do tricks. They are not a source of life. If anything, having a lot of points just proves you have too much spare time...

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Yahoo! Answers:

I know, they are useless, but you get to ask more questions. lol
(Can't criticize this one, because that's the only reason they matter to me.)

to level up...
(Hmmm... I used to know people who played Pokemon for that same reason. That's two strikes right there. One more and you might as well learn how to play Dungeons and Dragons.)

Because Y/A is a magical place.

The same with playing video games.
These things are just for entertainment.
And the more points you have, the more superior you feel
(Yeah, like that's any bett... Oh man, did you see that!?! I just hit every note in that Guitar Hero song! Boom, 500,000 points! And the crowd goes wild! *crowd noises made with breath* *crowd noises made with breath* I am so awesome...

Anyway, your answer was stupid.)

Because its a nice feeling not just with the points but others appreciate your answer and you able to help someone. From there on, you get inspired to search for an interesting question to answer.
(So the points matter because of the feeling you get that's totally independent of the points... I don't follow.)

Just because its fun. and you can ask/answer more questions and can waste more time/pass more time/piss more people off (what ever your choice/reason is for being here)

Here's an honest answer. It's kinda like the movie "you've got mail". I love it when my answer gets chosen as best and has some thumbs up as well. When I click on answers, I like it when it changes and tells me how I've done. Yeah, I know...I've got no life. Ok, so what...I'm enjoying what I do have.
(Good job. Way to embrace your pathetic life. I mean, who's on YA every day? Oh, wait a minute...)

cause their awsome and i only have spare time at nights

idk i think we should be abel to answer and ask more questions for no points!!
(And I think we should be Cain to answer and ask more questions for no points.)

They matter because you have to be better than all your friends who are also on Answers. When you start to notice them surpassing you, then you feel the need to kick it up a notch, and answer your butt off until you do better than them.

i just like being a Level 6 because I can answer unlimited questions :)
(So you answer a whole crapload of questions to acquire points because it enables you to answer infinitely more questions. I don't think the end justifies the means.)

Self-satisfaction that I can help some around.
having fun when I read joke and riddles section.
happy when i solve any problems
On the whole total mental satisfaction!!!!
(See the Administrative Rant at the bottom.)

They don't . you can't buy a thing with them, and you ll be suspended for a tiny reason anyway

Basically. It just means I don't have an aswering limit.
(You've got serious issues if you answer so much that it makes you stop.)

You farted! admit it!
(Never!)

I just like having a lot! ;)

I agree,but it is fun 2 earn points.

(Administrative Comment: For those who don't frequent Yahoo Answers, the whole thing is based on a points system. You lose 5 for asking a question and gain 2 for answering one. This question was inspired by another one I asked for which nearly everyone gave an answer similar to "2 pts" or "thanks for the 2 points". Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go give all of those answers a thumbs down (Ha! Take that!). Oh, but first...)

(Administrative Rant: I don't buy this whole business about getting an extraordinary amount of self satisfaction from answering questions. I'm on there a lot and a significant portion of the questions I encounter are crap like these:

OMG!!!!!!! My bf just broke up with me. I can't live w/o him! Help!!! (I'm 12) : (

I just swallowed a tack for 75 cents. If I can get a big enough magnet can I get it out without having to suffer in the end (if you know what I mean)?

Wher can I get some weed and not get cot?

And then half the answers oppose common sense. It's just not a good system. My point here is this: Kids, if you have a problem, give a few other resources a shot before you go to Yahoo Answers. Like your parents. Or a friend. Or Sean Connery.)

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mar. 26: I'm submitting this for an episode of House.

You have a very rare disease that necessitates the amputation of some part of your body. The disease isn't too picky, so you get to choose. If you just cut off a finger or a toe, you will die. What part of you goes?

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Yahoo! Answers:

My nipples.
(And we're off to a good start. Though he really only needed to sacrifice one. Bet he ends up regretting that later.)

My appendix or tonsils
*Source*: If you are not seeing this on Yahoo Answers the data has been poached, do not trust the forum or website.
(Oops.)

my UTERUS!!

my head

What about two toes then?
(You remain alive physically but your soul dies. It's like encountering a dementor, only worse.)

my butt.

my easily jealous part

One Of My Ribs

thighs >_>

one of my ears

A leg because then I could have a peg leg and take it off and scare random people

my belly button. theres no need for it.
(There will also be no need for the even larger hole left by the belly button amputation.)

Yeah I agree. . . appendix or tonsils!

My third nipple.

Something that isn't required. Like my tonsils.

my toe because i need my fingers lol jk
(Oh, you just died. That's what you get for not reading the question.)

My hair and appendix

some of my teeth

Does my uterus count? Cause I'd pay to get rid of that one. If not, one of my legs. Pretty much anything aside my arms and head are free game, I'm an artist, I don't think I'd fare well without them.

Haha my tonsil as they are removed anyways. But something outer would be any pimples that happens to be on my face, hey there a part of my body and an intrusion. Other than that I would say a conjoined twin if I had one.
(One would think that by offering up three answers you'd be able to produce at least one that's legit.)

My right eye. It's crap anyway.

my hair.
(You know what, this is cheating. You're dead too. Nope, you can't argue. You're dead.)

My ear. Maybe I'll put an earring in my nose.
(Seems logical.)

the web of my web toe, no loss...
(Hey, good job, you beat the system. Oh, nope, you just died.)

ear

My belly fat!

take my boobs

cut off my thunder thighs!
(That's a lovely visual.)

My gall bladder.

(Administrative Comment: I don't know what people are giving up entire body parts. All I said was that some part of them had to be removed. Personally, I would have gone with a small chunk out of my arm or something. There's no reason to cripple yourself...)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Mar. 25: A bit of a change...

(I'm trying something a little different today. Due to a severe lack of time and significant frustration caused by people not answering my questions, I took the approach today of using a question posted by someone else that I felt fit in well with this blog's theme. This way I have to do less work and, at the same time, I avoid depriving my adoring fans of their daily question. Nothing else changes, you still get an entertaining question and my commentary. Call it laziness. Call it a lack of creativity. Whatever you call it, I'll probably steal that name and use it if this becomes, say, a once-a-week kind of deal. OK, that's enough explanation. Today's question is...)

Poll: Have you ever been racist before?

posted by Beetlebot29

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Yahoo! Answers:

Yes...after having the same thing happen over and over again from a certain race, I tend to be prejudiced....

heck yeah. all the time

Nope never.

No, and don't plan on it!
(You don't plan on it? That would be interesting...

Friday the 26th - Lunch with Hank. Afternoon meeting. Insults and hate crimes directed at Asians.)

Who hasnt, whether it was jokingly or not, we are all a little racist.
(I don't know, I went school with some pretty racist dudes, and some of them were rather large...)

yeah all the time
white power

Well... I think that when people are younger they are, if they are raised to do so. But when you start to grow up you aren't as ignorant [Or at lease I hope so] and you can change your mind.
So my point is: Yeah I think that everyone was at one point when they were young and didnt understand the differences in people
('When they start to grow up you aren't as ignorant.' I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with that statement. My source... just click the 'Older Post' link down there at the bottom.)

yea with my friends lol and others in the street

Unfortunately, yes, in my head at times. Although I'm too polite and softhearted to hurt others in the face.
(That's so kind of you.)

hell yea.

i cant stand midgets

yes when i was teen age but not now

Before what? I've always tried never to be racist, as far as I can remember.
(Grammar fail!)

When i'm driving real fast on a race track!
(Haha, good one. Wish I had thought of that.)

yeah november 4th 2008

If politicians are a race then yes I have been
Otherwise no.

I hate racist people.

Not really, unless jokingly.
Edit: O.O ..I just realized I'm pretty darn racist with my asian friends...
(So let's follow this train of thought. He answers that he is only jokingly racist. But then he amends his answer to say he's racist to his Asian friends. Conclusion: Racist remarks to his Asian friends are not jokes.)

yes when i was little. i didnt really understand. i just thought racist things though i didnt every do anything wrong.
(All those racist toddlers are a real problem.)

Uhh, I believe we all have been racist, you dumb bimbo. I've been racist to asians, blacks, hispanics, germans, and even my french people. The only reason why I critized asians was because I said Judo is better than Aikido.

this one time I laughed at a gnome when he couldn't hang his coat up in my house. Thats about it.

yes, sadly :( I used to be medium racist, but then I realized how stupid I was being and how much it didn't make sense
(Now she's only a kid's size small racist.)

24/7 everyday of my life...
I EAT FROSTED CHEERIOS FOR BREAKFAST...
NOT COCO PUFFS

you would be lying to say you havnt been racist.
you would of brought it up some stage in your life.
but not to a full extent... well in some cases... to a full extent

Somewhat. I said a racist joke and felt bad about it.

Yep I'm very racist

No...It depends on the education and the degree of accepting people, whatever their skin color, or mental disabilities or others.....
(Anybody else notcie that she compared having a different skin color with having a mental disability?)

Yes and I still am.......

no im not racist actually i get very mad at racist people it ties into that dont be ignorant thing that i keep as my basic rule of life lol
(Judging from the overall appearance of this sentence, I think you need to adopt a new rule.)

In a way, I suppose so. It was when I was about 4 or 5 years old. My parents had taught me about what happened at Pearl Harbor, and for the next few weeks I was scared of anyone I saw who looked Japanese.

does sterotype count
(Can someone find a dictionary for this guy?)

hahahahah yes
i use to work at a fast food restaurant i was the only white girl for around 3 months. and as ignorant as it sound i turned racist. but now im back to normal.
(Makes it sound like a disease...)

(This guy went into a whole thing about how racism is bad and said that the only time he ever says anything that can be construed as racist is joking around with friends of a different race. It all sounded quite intelligent and legitimate until...)

If we were all so uptight about race all the time we'd never smile or enjoy life.

(Administrative Comment: As you can imagine, several additional people came up with very informed, intelligent, and noble answers to this quesiton...

I deleted them. That crap doens't belong here.

Things should be back to normal tomorrow. )

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mar. 10: He doesn't do it for the haul. It's just a way to show off his skill, a sport almost. You know, like curling.

You come home one day to find that your house has been broken into. You frantically search the house for your valuables, but everything seems to be there. But then you notice: there is one thing missing. But you're not really upset, because all you can think when you examine the empty space is "Well that's weird..." What did the thief take?

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Yahoo! Answers:

my laptop! Oh no, no more yahoo answers 4 me!:(:(
(Yes that would be tragic, as you obviously offer such relevant answers.)

the left overs in the fridge.. that would be weird =P

My dirty laundry. hehe

oh ****. where'd my undies go?
(Hmm, that would be bad. I mean, you're faced with two options if this happens. You either go out and buy new undies, or...well...)

my cow is missing.

my trash out =-))

um idk lol. If that was to happen i think they might take everything, but that would only happen if the guards are not by the entrance by the road.
(Guards? Where do you live, Buckingham Palace?)

My new box of tampons!

The trash!!!

um... a plant? lol i don't no.

The cookie jar

your door haha idk
(He broke into your house and took my door? Wow, he's good.)

your name plate
(Identity theft is a very serious thing.)

EVERYTHING!
(Yes, that wouldn't upset me at all...)

ur wife lolololol!!!
(I'm confused. Does that mean "laugh out laugh out laugh out laugh out loud"?)

Your spare house keys?
(No, your spare house keys.)

My husband!! Anyone have the # to that thief, I want to make sure he knows there is a NO RETURN policy! LOL

he took a **** in the toilet.
(Clever. A little crude, but clever nonetheless.)

My house spare keys Hahahahahahaha

edit
(No, I kind of like this one the way it is, thanks.)

the front door

The toilet paper.

My 4 ft tall plastic pear...

that so called piece of 'art' that my husband loves. It will be sorely missed!!! I had to run after the robbers to make sure they didn't forget to take it!

The door handle?
(Oh, I'm sorry, the correct answer was "What is the door handle?")

my bone =(
woof.

My entire ps2 collection

what was it??
(Now, you see, that's the question you're supposed to answer. Good try though. A few more attempts and I'm sure you'll get it down.)

dvd

the ham cooking in the roaster

my worn socks

My middle school yearbook

THE MICROWAVE!!
GET HIM!!!!

My peace of mind!!!

I reckon it's the door too.

THE DOOR!!!

The refrigerator ?

My Partners clothes that took up all the room in the wardrobe. Oh well time to go shopping :D
(Wait, she shares a wardrobe with her business partner? Well that's a little str- What's that? Uh huh. Oh.... I see. Sorry I asked.)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Mar. 23: Episode II (or is it IV?): Rejected Queston Day Strikes Back

Happy Monday everyone! That's right, it's that time again...Rejected Question Day! How sweet it is... a collection of my failures over the last month of question asking. Everybody wins. I get a day off where I don't have to worry about coming up with another outrageously creative question that brings joy to all who read it and maybe even some who don't. And you, instead of getting only one of those good questions, get four (that's right, four!) sub-par questions. Questions that maybe were a little over the head of the average Yahoo Answers participant. Some that just didn't get their chance to shine. Some that just down right sucked. But that doesn't mean you should just skip over them. No, not at all. Just think of them as Stupid Question of the Day B-Sides. That'll make it better.

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Question #1 (You never know when this could happen to you.)

You are walking down the sidewalk when you happen to stumble upon the nexus of the universe and are thrust into an alternate dimension where people live in houses made of food. What is yours going to be made of?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Dark Chocolate!!!

Mostly cheese, but I would have a chocolate wing as well.

Fruits. Fruit trees !!!

The roof is made out of Red Licorice;
The chimney made out of Dark Chocolate bricks, Cream Cheese in the middle, and the smoke out of Seven Up bubbles;
Walls made out of Dark Chocolate bricks with Cream Cheese in the middle of each brick, but painted over with an off white Frosting.
Windows made out of transparent and hard sheets of Cooked Sugar, and porch chimes out of Smarties and Tootsie Rolls;
A flower and tree garden made out of Chocolate roses, Oreo tulips, and 5 Flavor Lifesavers daisies, while proud trees stand ornamented with brand new fruits of every color, kind, and shape; but, with a twist: Apple trees have Kiwis, Orange trees have Strawberries, Lemon trees have Watermelons, Peach trees have Grapes, and on and on...
(That is truly a frightening amount of detail.)

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Question #2 (Come and listen to a story...)

You, a poor resident of the hills of West Virginia, are out hunting for food. You take a shot at something that looks edible, but you miss and your bullet strikes the ground and up from the ground comes a bubblin' crude. Oil that is. Black gold. Texas tea. You're now rich and decide to leave the hills. You think about going to Beverly Hills, but that's been done. Where do you go?

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Yahoo! Answers:

I'd travel around the world helping others where I could.
(Noble. But lame.)

Sorry, but the Clampetts were not from West Virginia... according to Wikipedia:
While Granny frequently mentioned that she was from Tennessee, the series never specified the state from which the Clampetts moved to California. However, they often referred to nearby towns such as Joplin, Branson, and Silver Dollar City, all of which are in southwest Missouri. Early episodes also contained several references to Eureka Springs, which is in northwest Arkansas.
=== Now... if there's a NEW family... the hills they go to is Atlanta.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
(So you tell me I'm wrong by citing a source which states that where the Clampetts were from is unknown. Meaning that I could be right. Good work.)

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Question #3 (This one actually got good response, but my knowledge of this particular subject is so limited that I had no idea if any of these were funny or not. Poor planning on my part I suppose.)

What is your favorite Pokemon and why?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Snorlax. I'd love to be able to sleep all the time and just wake up to eat.

Milotic. Just look at it...

gyarados
---- yeah!!

That legendary arctic one, I forgot its name. It's beautiful and a water-type (sort of). Water and fire were my favourites. I had a lovely tee with all my favourite water Pokemon but my mom threw it out. :( I wanted to keep it and put it in a frame.
*Source*: I used to want to be a Pokemon trainer
(I don't think a comment from me on this one is necessary.)

Deoxys. I think it's a Hoenn pokemon

Charizard!

Pikachu! He's so cute! That's the only pokemon character I know of lol

jiggly puff. she's got her own music and she draws on people.
♪ jiggly puff...♪
(And she kicks some serious butt in Smash Bros....)

iggly puff coz he draws on everyone hahah
(...Or it would if it wasn't apparently facing a gender crisis. Is it a he or she?)

gengar... when i used to play pokemon that thing was unstoppable

Don't really watch it anymore, but I guess Metagross.

pikachu! because that's like the only one i know

definitely Alakazaam. hes unstoppable and awesome and psychic!
(He cited his source as common sense. As a person who values logic, I am slightly offended that common sense would be used in this fashion.)

mew cuz hes cute.

Lucario, he's just aweome and so strong. He's close to a psuedo-legendary, but not quite though
(If something is "close to psuedo-legendary", is it really very close to legendary at all?)

I love umbreon cuz i have one in diamond and it is a level 100. It is like tottaly UNSTOPPABLE

*************************************************************************************

Question #4 (Biggest disappointment. I thought this one had potential.)

You are The Woodchuck, a superhero who patrols the city of Vancouver, defending the people from all kinds of crazy evil. If you could chuck wood, there's no telling what you'd be capable of. But for now you just protect a Canadian city. You have many enemies, but you've narrowed down the biggest, baddest villains to be your arch-nemeses Ozzy Osbourne, John Madden, and Mr. Rogers (he's surprisingly evil). Which of these poses the greatest threat to you and why?

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Yahoo! Answers:

Ozzy. He's the prince of darkness.

Madden

Ozzy usually to F'd up to be any harm,well except himself maybe.
John Madden cant half way understand what he's trying to say so, that could be a problem knowing what his threat is.
I would just fear Mr.Rodgers-He just creeps me out now that I'm older and think I actually sat and watched him...and liked it

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Mar. 20: Reversal

What is the question to this answer?

The duck hypnotized Steve while he was in Kentucky, which made Steve steal the paper shredder and do this.

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Yahoo! Answers:

(In order of accuracy.)

uhhhh

You silly, Steve never visited Kentucky. ;D It was Tennessee.

You are steve.
(No, and I wouldn't want to be. Steve has way too many animal issues:
http://onecuriousyahoo.blogspot.com/2009/02/feb-13-what-animal-would-be-most.html)

dollars dropped add support to your answer un dos tres
(.......?)

Steve shredded the duck? Huh?
(Only this far down because it included a question mark.)

Duuuuuuude! How did a duck in Kentucky learn to be a hypnotist? That's awesome, Duuuuuuude!
(Toootallly. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu*catchesbreath*uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.)

Why did Steve do what he did?
(I really wish I was as clever as some of these people.)

what was steve doing with the duck in kentuky?

what were duck and steve up to in Kentucky?

did steve get hipnotized in Kentucky and what did he do when hipnotized?
(Spelling fail!)

What did the duck do to steve which made Steve steal the paper shredder.
(Punctuation fail!)

Why was Steve in Kentucky and where is the paper shredder?

How did that duck get in the paper shredder?
(It's interesting to me that a duck would hypnotize someone only to make that person shove the duck itself into a paper shredder. A little counterintuitive, if you ask me.)

Why did Steve need confetti?:)

How did Steve tear up his.... tie? heh heh

what happened to the aflack paperwork, and why isnt steve back from KYyet?

Why did Steve eat those strange mushrooms he found in the woods?

How did our generation of ducks end up with feathers?

Where is Steve going with my goldfish?!?!?

What did Steve's duck do that really really set Steve off, causing him to confess his love for Julia, get rejected for the 3rd time, and steal a paper shredder from Office Depot to try and shred his underpants he stole from a rubber chicken factory in Kentucky?

What color is Tuesday?
(Never thought anyone would actually get it right...)

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Mar. 19: I don't even know the answer to this one, and I actually experienced it.

You arrive at your friends' house to a surprising scenario. The door is opened and there are many screaming people making a tunnel for you to walk through. You run through as a camera flashes in your face. At the end you blow out a candle and there are people telling you about yellow belts and pancakes. There's still a lot of general noise. This all occurs in 30 seconds. It's not your birthday. What's going on?

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Yahoo! Answers:

30 seconds in the limelight
and free cake
the party isn't for me?
I DONT CURR!
(I don't remember saying anything about cake.)

i am not sure. i was thinking is this a prank or something

than you messed up the surpriz for someone eles

What's surprising about that? My friends to that every time I go over to their house.
(Wow. I bet that gets old.)

Is I in heaven? Oh lawd, gracious be the world.

i am probably dreaming

I dont know whats going on...all i know is... PARTY!!!! =)

Congrats...you just stepped into the movie Ladykillers :D
(I have no idea whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.)

You're stoned?
(I don't think that I'm the one to most likely be on drugs in this scenario.)

its a surprise party for something else

maybe there's a party happeneing for someone else

circumcision party
(Well, that would explain the screaming...)

haha! either they THOUGHT it was your birthday
OR-----> you have amazing friends that are just throwing you a party :)

i graduated high school probably

someone is about to get an *** whooping.

your being filmed for funniest home videos?

that's easy... you're dreaming.. or they've probably mistaken you for your estranged friend. ;)
(Yeah, that happens a lot.)

tat day is named 4 u
(But my name isn't Tat...)

Lucy in the Skyyy with Diamooonds.
(Yes, she was ther... Wait. How did you know that?)

I don't know, but I think I'd get the heck outta there quick!!

????
(Strong response right there. Though that may accurately sum up my thought process through the whole deal.)

is this a joke??

Acid trip.

Maybe they will sacrifice you tomorrow,

I just found out that i am secretly a celebrity (well everyone else knows; just i dont.)

it's a fashion shoot! the belt is an item they're marketing, and the pancakes are part of the gimmick. the general noise is all the models, and agents and photographers, and your friend forgot to tell you his house would be the stage of the photo shoot. how close am i?

Hi Dear Some poor soul caught in a trap. It is wedding.
(That's quite the optimistic view of marriage.)

haha they need to borrow your money ;D haha no seriously that's insane but that would be awesome ^___^
(Pssh, they can try all they want to influence me with their candles and happiness, I'm not lending them $3.)

They are trying to get your endorphines going before they tell you that one of them ran over your dog this morning.
(That's just wrong.)

Im tripping on acid. Even though I dont even know what happens if you trip, but Ive heard many stories.

a happy dream!

An awkward gathering of crazy people.

I'm getting jumped in, into the secret society of yellow belts.
(Cool.)

somebody drugged me. i would nvr do drugs so somebody would have to drug me.

You just graduated! A Wedding I have to agree with the other poster she sounded extremely close with the Fashion Shoot lol.
(Wow, answered and all she did was steal three other people's thoughts. Good work.)

A Pagan ritual

(Administrative Comment: Yes, this did actually happened to me. Every bit of it. And, no, it...um...wasn't a circumcision party. That would have been awkward.)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Mar. 18: Insert clever question header here.

Wow, how did you do that?

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Yahoo! Answers:

(Administrative Comment: I normally don't do this, but due to the very broad range of quality in the responses, I have divided them up based upon where they fell in my brand new answer quality hierarchy, the sections of which are represented by the bold, all caps type.)

CAUSED ACTUAL PHYSICAL PAIN

durr>?!?!?!

do what.....?

KUZ im kool like that[:

BECAUSE I HAVE THE SKILLAGE FROM DA VILL AGE MAN WOOO

DEPRESSING LACK OF ORIGINALITY

easy lol
(Or was it...?)

It wasn't easy!

like this. (:

Just like that

I just... did.

Magic

Its magical :]

through magic! :)

just go skill mate. :)

I know, I'm so awesome :D

I am amazing

I'm just good like that.

Well, you know. It's easy when you're AWESOME.

lol You like that? Yeah- some people were just born with it. ::sigh:: I'm awesome, I know ;-D
Want to see it again?
.........................................
How was that?! Cool hu?

I'm a natural.

I didn't. Chuck Norris did
(Though certainly more creative than the others, I feel that this belongs here. Given Chuck's many appearances in answers, it just seems right.)

Ask your mom
(Same deal.)

OH, THAT'S SO LAME!

With a lot of practice

With love :) haha

I've never seen someone so impressed with the booger I just pulled out of my nose.
(Came very close to being in the previous category.)

I clicked the "Answer Question" button
YEP! I'm smarticle!
(Placed here solely for the use of the word 'smarticle'.)

with hands

With great force.
(Replace 'great' with 'the' and this one moves up at least a couple of spots.).

with a smile

STILL LAME, BUT SHOWS CAPACITY FOR ORIGINALITY

wiggled my nose

if i tell u...i have to kill u LOL

It was an accident, i swear!
(Actually I'm not even mad. That was amazing.)

I'm double-jointed. ;)

I pressed my trackpad.
(Could belong in the next one, but I'm playing it safe since I have no idea what she's talking about.)

Wasn't me - honest.

What you don't know won't hurt you !!

SOLID RESPONSES

I drove to Taco Bell and bought it.

Gene doping!

Why it's elementary, my dear Watson.
(Sherlock Holmes reference bumped this one up a spot or two.)

PUT IN WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT AND FOR THIS WE ARE GRATEFUL

i inserted the lime into the coconut and then i applied it to this simple formula:
(x(y):P +M) j (xhzi:Q + N) ! fz=ygP j Q
([t]L ^ [o]u:L ^ [i]u:(I(u):([t]I(u) ^ [i]z:I(u) ^ [o]z:z = u))(u))
(([t]L) & (['o]Sigma u.L) & ([i]Pi u.(nu I(u).(([t]I(u))
\cos x = \mathrm{Re}\{e^{ix}\} ={e^{ix} + e^{-ix} \over 2}
\sin x = \mathrm{Im}\{e^{ix}\} ={e^{ix} - e^{-ix} \over 2i}.
([i]Pi z.I(u)) & (['o]Sigma z.z=u)))(u)))
φ(n) = (p − 1)(q − 1) = n + 1 − (p + q),
σ(n) = (p + 1)(q + 1) = n + 1 + (p + q).

It took about $300, two bottlenose dolphins, a russian hooker and blowtorch. But as you can see, the results were worth it.

It was the most amazing thing! First I had to summon the aliens from the underworld to support the massive amount and then I called the coast guard to deliver pizza for all the soldiers curently battling illegal immigrants. Very tough job if you ask me. This should only be tried by professionals.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mar. 17: I'm honestly shocked that no one asked why they were doing this in the first place.

There's this boulder. You need to get it up a fairly sizable hill. There are two ways to do this. You can carry it up the dirt path yourself or use the convenient boulder-moving machine to do it for you. At this particular moment there's a man-eating yeti roaming around the machine. You have two options: carry the boulder or wait for the yeti to go away. The catch is that there are other rocks that need to be moved to other places, so time is scarce. What do you do?

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Yahoo! Answers:

I choose to turn around, go back home, get into my comfy clothes, and come on here and tell everyone that I just saw a man-eating Yeti and ask you all if you believe me or not :)

Huh???
(It's OK, don't think too hard. We wouldn't want you to hurt yourself and not be able to do anything with the boulder.)

throw the boulder at the yeti...than use the magical rock machine to move the rocks

beat the yeti with the boulder and be on my way.
(If you have the strength and ability to beat the yeti with the boulder, would it not be easier to just carry it up?)

idk lol
(There is perhaps no greater sign of ignorance than proclaiming you don't know something and laughing stupidly without actually using any words or sounds.)

you go a little ways up the hill then roll the boulder down and smash the yeti then put the boulder in the boulder moving machine and wallah

There's no such thing as a man-eating yeti so i'd use the boulder moving machine.
(Fine, then it's just a regular yeti...)

There's no such thing as a yeti so just use the boulder moving thingy.
(...or not. Geez. You people have no imagination.)

Any problem can be solved with the proper use of sufficient dynamite, a long enough fuse and a good cigar!

dont no dont care losr.

You Shoot the ------- yeti... I dont know

Kill the yeti and start moving the rocks. who knows if it will come back so be sure you get rid of it for sure. The other options won't help much cuz either way you're gonna have to wait.

Kill the yeti with your AK-47 then move the rocks.

i would probably carry the boulder up or maybe try and tackle the yeti haha

wait, because if you get eaten, then you won't have time to be alive. plus, it reduces the time and work needed to carry the boulders up. also, you won't get tired and fall down and die.
(The man makes several valid points. Not having time to be alive is a real drag.)

i say "**** this" and walk away

Hide.

Wait dude

Why the hell am I moving boulders when I've found the yeti!? Get the ------- camera!

The Yeti was very good with BBQ Sauce, and all the rocks were moved on time.

use the machien
its a MAN eating yeti
(Female respondent, in case you couldn't figure that one out on your own.)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Mar. 16: I'd go with my lucky cricket.

You arrive at an awesome rock show and you're ready to have some head banging, guitar shredding fun. The first few bands have rocked and its time for the headliner. The band comes out. They have seven guitarists, two drummers, a bassist who looks like he's ready to kill and a singer who you've heard has a voice that rivals that of God himself. You are stoked. The crowd is fired up as the band begins playing. Turns out, all they're playing is very much non-rocking tunes from Disney's Mulan. You are pissed. Something must be thrown at them. What do you throw?

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Yahoo! Answers:

a brick

Shoes?
(Is this a question? I really didn't think this one was that confusing...)

Ball gags...

a turd

Mickey Mouse made out of dog ****.
(I'm slightly curious as to how this is going to work because unless you have a dog that's quite talented, that's going to require some molding. I mean, Mulan rock would be unfortunate, but I don't know if it's that bad.)

no no no you got it all wrong you buy them all double shots of tequila and hope to god it gets better!

My shoe! haha. (:

a chair

My ticket stub THEN LEAVE

My chair

I read that somewhere people threw rocks at a Nickelback concert. Well deserved.

a screaming demand for my money back

The kid next to you that is actually enjoying this atrocity!
(Hey, I know that guy! Did you know he carries a purse?)

Don't you pay attention to who you're buying tickets for?
(How was I supposed to know that Mushu's Chinese Soldiers from Hell was a Mulan cover band?)

What is available to you? Rocks aren't really a good option because while exceptionally violent, they tend to knock out the annoying band quickly, thus ending the fun. Soft, rotten fruits and vegetables are a big favorite because they cause lasting damage (hard-to-remove smell, stains, etc.) without causing physical injury. Handfuls of mud work well, though they are odorless and may cause stainage to the throwers.

Water balloon so everything gets wet & ruined! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the kid next to me. actually. i'd probably be the one thats thrown- seeing as i'm pretty small and easy to pick up haha. boo for crappy bands playing songs from Mulan.

My best friend XD
(I hope you have a lot of friends.)

Uhhhh, well Nickelback showed that rocks are good. Personally I would throw other people :)

My handy-dandy RPG-7 that I acquired through my bud's father who is in the Navy... Of course, by "throw" it at them, I mean fire an RPG at them.

Chairs!

anything i can find. ;D

The guy sitting next to me.

nothing, they don't deserve to be given anything in my possession.

*stiffens* You insinuating that music from Mulan is bad?
(Maybe. What are you going to do about it?)

throw nothing... mosh on stage beating the living crap outta them :)

something big, hard, and painful!!!! XD
(Yes, that would be the general idea.)

A knife that hopefully kills someone up there...

i unscrew the cap from my water bottle and hurl it at the singer. or a discarded shoe (because there's always one of those at a rock/mulan concert)...

fecal matter
(The political correctness here is noble, but strangely out of place...)

rotten eggs!!!

my shoes, socks, soda, popcorn, the person beside me's shoes and popcorn, anything else that will give them brain damage..jk
(Shoes + socks + food = brain damage? I think it's time to invest in some new footwear.)

Nothing you could be sued for a number of reasons. I would try to get my money back or be compensated somehow for such crapiness!!
(Rock is about stickin' it to the man. You can't let a little felony and some jail time stop you.)

Watermelon.

3 grenades cause i was all ready pissed at them for being late with there gig kill em all lol

You throw crap at the crappy band so they're poopy as hell.
('Poopy as hell'. 'Nuff said.)

ummmm toilet paper
(But you have to make sure you do this before the people who are throwing some form of crap. Otherwise you're doing them a favor.)

how about nothing, that's not very nice

Used tampons!
(I really don't know what to say to that.)

sperm filled water balloons
(There are so many absolutely horrible jokes I could make here. Unfortunately, my sense of shame won't allow it.)

Imaginary Reese's Pieces.

Beer bottles, like in Blues Brothers, tomatos too.

Feces.

a bus

If they started playing songs from Mulan I'd be like, Hell yeah! i'll make a man outta youuu

round house kicks provided by chuck norris

A letter (tied to a brick) describing why I dislike their music.
(I admire your diplomatic approach.)

your mom

tomatoes...what else.....hmm... and eggs... wow thats mean..lol

(Administrative Comment: Maybe it's because I haven't been to too many myself, but I was completely unaware of what one needs to bring to a concert. Watermelons, eggs, knives... I don't know how I'm going to convince Chuck Norris to come. And I've got to tell you, I don't know how comfortable I am with doing whatever is necessary to sneak an RPG-7 into a show. Seems like a good way to lose a limb...)

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mar. 14: Hey, jerk, where's my question?!?

Well, yeah, I can explain that. You see, after a significant amount of deliberation and many discussions with the staff here at SQOD (me), it has been decided that new questions will no longer appear on weekends.

(*ducks* Hey! You idiot, that could have killed me! Then you wouldn't have ever had any questions again! Would you like that? That's right, Johnson, I'm talking to you. Yeah, I saw you throw that chipmunk. Don't even try to look innocent. *threatening glare* Anyway...)

You see, time is a bit scarce. A couple days off every week will provide a good break, fuel my creativity and (hopefully) lead to the ability to maintain high quality in every post. If I try to force a question every day quality will decline, you'll get hacked off and bored, stop bothering with this blog, and I'll be sad. No one wants that.

(Oh yeah, Johnson? Why don't you come over here and say that to me. I swear, one more word out of you and that chipmunk's coming right back at you!)

So, from now on, new questions will be posted Monday - Friday. And maybe there will be some weekends where we make an exception. You never know...

Besides, if you depend on this for weekend entertainment, you've got some serious problems. Really, that's just pathetic.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to figure out where my entertainment's going to come from this weekend.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Mar. 13: A question that plagued many children in the 90's...

Where in the world IS Carmen Sandiego?

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Yahoo! Answers:

The game is in my closet, I believe.
(That's not what I asked.)

in My pants

i dont know he must have ran

He's at the toy store.

Now there's a show I haven't heard in a long time. ---------------

New Mexico, I saw him at the sea side
("And if you'll buy that I'll throw the Golden Gate in free." I hope someone else gets that besides me.)

Oh ... i figured this out days ago (finally!) She is hanging out with Kate Monday and George Frankly from Mathnet. ((PBS!!)) Seriously .... this is the word on the street. I also heard that Chuck Norris was enlisted to help find them, but ... you know that's just because Chuck Norris can do anything. xoxo ♥
*edit* WRONG peoples. Carmen San Diego was NEVER in San Diego. In Madrid, Rio de Janeiro, London, Washington DC, Sydney and France ... but never in her namesake. *sighs* I used to love that game; and the show wasn't too shabby either. xo
(Wow. Went a little overboard there...)

I can tell you where he ISN'T.

I have her here with me. She is a babe and a half.

somewhere ....cant remember ...Stopped playing that game ages ago

in the store on the shelves waiting to be bought
(I don't know, I'm pretty sure that's illegal in quite a few countries...)

lol
(*cringes* See administrative comment from yesterday.)

lol. i heard she's in space now. stealing mars ROVERS

Only Chuck Norris knows.

She's not in San Diego
She's not in Los Angeles
She's not in San Bernado
She's not in my room.
I believe she's hidden in yours.

Up Your Anal Pore, And Around The Corner.
(Screen name: I Dance With No Pants. Connection? I think so.)

i never found out even when i played the games, or watched the show
(Hence my asking the question.)

I've had her locked up in my basement... Don't worry - I fed her.

Why in the world did you ask this question when someone asked it not too long ago?!
(I've been waiting for this to happen for a while now. People call me on asking questions multiple times quite often. But most of them are able to figure out that I'm not two different people, despite the screen names.)

Its in Nevada

Carmen Sandiego refers to a media franchise of educational computer & video games, television programs, books and other media featuring Carmen Sandiego
(Hey, look, I can copy information straight from Wikipedia too!

Imbecile derives from the Latin word imbecillus, meaning weak, or weak-minded.

I think mine's a little more relevant than yours though.)

(I tend to agree with these people. It's always seemed kind of obvious to me...)

San Diego, California

in san diego you dip----

San Diego duh!

San Diego perhaps?

In San Diego, duh! lol

(...but I think these people may be on to something...)

I don't know. Ask Waldo.

I heard she and Waldo was in France..they are getting married. I wonder if she is marrying the real him or not..hmmm...

If you know where Waldo is, then you will find Carmen. They are traveling together.

With WALDO

(...and this one will appeal to all you conspiracy theorists.)

She's masquerading as waldo dude you never knew?

(Administrative Comment #1: My knowledge of the Carmen Sandiego franchise is pretty much limited to the existence of this question, but there is one thing that I need to point out. Four people referred to Carmen as 'he' (another used to word 'it', but for the sake of keeping this comment at a higher intellectual level we will ignore him). Was Carmen Sandiego not a woman?

Administrative Comment #2: I think the last guy's got it. Waldo and Carmen must be the same person. It would explain why no one seems to know where Carmen Sandiego is, and why Waldo is so freakin' hard to find. I'm sorry, no one's that sneaky.)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Mar. 12: Hopefully none of these will ever actually catch on.

Because the English language isn't complicated enough, you decide to create a new bit of slang for all the young people to start using. What is it and what does it mean/how is it used?

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Yahoo! Answers:

cyrus
another name for a std
(I'm sorry, but if STD's come up in conversation enough to justify a slang term for them, you have way bigger issues to deal with than the English language.)

I would have youngsters start using more words like "neat-o", "swell", and "nifty" again.

"Valid" meaning "good, great, etc"
"That shirt is totally valid"

My cousin and I were watching Interview With the Vampire and there was these people making out and she was trying to tell me something about Lestat, but I didn't hear her, except Lestat, and I was like those people are Lestating, what?!?! Haha, so Lestating = Making out.
(Sounds like a solid flick.)

"I, Claudius," every time they wanted to make a statement or state their opinion in some other way...not a statement... Is that even possible? Of course, this must be delivered with the obligatory head twitch, so I'd probably get sued by people developing RSI whilst trying to be cool. Ah, the price of popularity!
(Anyone who can tell me what she's talking about gets a nickel.)

you got teddy-beared! oh yeah, you would just say it when you didnt know what to say lmaooooo

Not really I created new frases, and words that my whole school ended up using all i remember is ork-a-dork which was if you were in orchestra and tired of band geek
(I think I like 'frases' better than 'ork-a-dork'.)

TDF. To die for? Uhm... WEMB. What ever miss *****? TTE to the end? Sorry, idk. I'm not very good at this, lmao.
(See the administrative comment at the bottom of this page for response to this one.)

Flarp (v) - to trip over one's own feet
EX: I totally flarped at school today.
=D My friend and I came up with that one about 2 months ago.

"we don't care about the young folks talkin' bout the young style"

calling random people a doofy ( like my son does ) or norm for someone whom is like semi stupid
Two-fin- ( it's used in my house ) the two finger rule one two hold your bottom lip up and the other to wipe away the tear . umm and i dunno anymore that i would create for like slang .
(Important announcement: 'Doofy' is now the official slang term of Stupid Question of the Day, as it applies so well and would make many of my comments more succinct. Expect to see it in the future. Maybe.)

(The following responses were to this question under the heading "What would you have the young people say?" Apparently this is a sensitive issue for the younger generation...)

Um, just because were young we have to have our own language? Gee, we are humans too. How offending...

What the hell?
I'm sure when you were growing up you had 'slang' words too.
I know my dad and mom did. They are in their 40's and 50's.
How hypocritical.

My mom is 40 something and uses more slang than I do. She also makes up her own words.
*Source*: "Omg, Jayy, wtf?!"
(Your mom is a sperritrop.)

(Administrative Comment Old Man Rant: Ahem... "Gall darn young'uns and their dad burn, voodoo chatspeak! Back in my day we took the time to type out entire words and phrases, not just a bunch o' letters that don't make a lick o' sense. Down right inconsiderate. Don't even spell anything! Yer just somehow s'posed to know what it means... And it's overused! I mean, criminy, they're even using it in everyday speech now. Kid came up to me the other day using this garbage, thought he was speaking Latin or some other devil language to me. Started yelling bible verses at him 'til he ran away. Turns out he was just trying to tell me that I'd dropped my wallet. He should have just said that... now I don't even have my trusty ol' billfold! And, really, if you youngsters were actually LMAOing as much as you said you were there would be A's all over the ground. It'd be anarchy! What do they teach in those blasted schools these days? Turning society into a group of illiterate, gangbanging ruffians. Well guess what young people: ITTSYCKHIFTBTTLADBM! That's right, how does it feel? Confused? Good! Now you know how I feel everytime I flip on the consarned television or use this glorified adding machine you call a computer and its internet. It's called English, use it! Or rather, ICEUI! Yeah, that's right young'uns, who's LOLing now? Huh?!)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Mar. 11: This actually happened to a buddy of mine in Nashville. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

You're teeing off on a Par 3. Using your 7 iron, you let loose on the best shot you've hit all day. The ball soars majestically through the air and comes down on the green. You get pretty excited when you see it going for the hole. This could be a hole in one! Your excitement builds as the ball nears the flag. It's about 3 feet away and still rolling when you are all of a sudden eaten by a bear. 1-10, how much does this suck?

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Yahoo! Answers:

11

not that bad 1

def. a 2....

Quiero hamberguesa

10.00001 That would totally suck!

uhh...ok? 5

this was all good until you mentioned a bear 1 ...!!!
(What do you have against bears?)

12 that always happens when im golfing

1

12- and I don't even golf!!

1 being not sucky-10 being majorly sucky...i'd say 1 (you got to see a ------- bear! and you almost got a hole in one. That's like getting two awesome things for the price of one. :D

How often does someone get to say that they got a hole in one and eaten by a bear at the same time?! I give it a -5 because it's awesome.

9

I thought you were gonna say, "AND SOME KIDS RUSH OUT OF THE BUSHES AND GRAB THE BALL BEFORE IT MAKES ITS DEPARTURE INTO THE HOLE". lol me and my friends would always hang out at the local golf course and steal balls as people hit them off.
(I would very much like to express to you what I think of you and your friends. But alas, I see no point in having to censor myself.)

it depends if your ball goes in

lol. I didn't see that coming. I'd say that's a 9. It would be a 10 if a terrorist had suddenly captured you and tortured you until you died.

it doesnt suck nearly as bad as u obviously r at life. i mean do you know your a loser? or is this new news to u?
(He made retaliation entirely too easy on this one so I'm just gonna say "Yes, I know" and move on.)

That would be a 10 (worst) since I didn't know if the ball went in the hole. I've played golf for over 45 years with no hole in ones. Now, if I knew I had a hole in one then it would only be a 5. :-)

Yes.
(Alright...)

1 There is no cleverness to it! And adding the 'Par 3' and '7 iron' just confuses the reader. And then, a bear eats you? It makes no sense and is not clever or funny at all!
(Yeah, I guess you'd have to know what golf is to get this one. I apologize. In the future I will use terms such as "a not-long-hole" and "shiny metal club" to make it easier for you to understand.)

well hopefully the bear started at your feet so your head can still see if the ball went in the hole. If it went in, i'd say it was a pretty good way to end the day.... :)

1. Sucks quite a bit.
(The only person who used the ratings system where 1 was the worst... way to think outside of the box.)

the bear just wants to cuddle with you so 1.

Well bear makes it 10 the fact that I'm golfing makes it 50

1 being the least and 10 being the most i would say 10 b/c i didnt understand a thing
(bear - n. any of the plantigrade, carnivorous or omnivorous mammals of the family Ursidae, having massive bodies, coarse heavy fur, relatively short limbs, and almost rudimentary tails.
Hope that helps!)

7. though I am not much of a golf fan.

11

why would a bear be on a golf course?lol

1 golf is for idiots
($50 says he's a NASCAR fan.)

Bob, if this was going on, a bear would not have any chance at all with me!
Regards, Dan
(Dan, you would never see the bear coming and it would completely own you. Trust me, I would know. - OCY)

4

I'm more worried about that flying shark staring at me in the trees.

-78. I've always wanted to see the inside of a bear! Although I'd probably be dead...so idk.
(Probably.)

Bears are just unfriendly these days, but it didn't used to be that way. I remember when bears showed up on the golf course with gifts for everyone. I rate their new personalities a 10 for suckiness.

10 hahaha what a funny question.

(Administrative Comment: This one deserves a breakdown:

Answered 1-10 - 54%

Answered outside of 1-10 - 17%

Didn't bother to give a number at all - 23%

Insulted me - 6%

Insulted me well - 0%)