While playing mah jong in the lab one day, you are, through a series of unfortunate events, blasted by uber-powerful zeta radiation (twice as strong as gamma radiation, not quite the level of theta radiation). The process involves every molecule of you being ripped apart, transformed, mutated, and sautéed until you once again become whole. It's incredibly painful, but after the ordeal is over you figure there must have been some benefit, like the acquisition of a superpower. So over the next few days you do some random things to try to coax the superpower out into the open. One day it finally works, but you could not be more disappointed. You have the lamest, most unfortunate super power ever. What is it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yahoo! Answers:
the power to always get top contributor in yahoo answers
The power to kill people with your Farts
HAHAHAH!!!!
(I'm assuming you would be the only one immune to them. It'd kinda suck if you weren't. Constantly living in fear of the day when you let your guard down for a moment too long...)
The power to show up at work on time.
Anything from Wonder Woman..lol
You can eat chicken with your fingers.
what the fcck.
(Listen here, 'thesexchick' (if that is your real name), let's get something straight. If you are going to curse at me in your baffled state of unexplainable confusion, you could at least have the decency to use the correct spelling and punctuation.)
Able to leap a pebble in a single bound!
the ability to file taxes on time
(Actually, there are real benefits to this. You see, by filing on time, or maybe even a little early, you...
*Several minutes later*
...and that's why a flat rate tax would be better than the current bracket system.)
flying but upside down and backwards
the power to not have any powers
(Good one.)
High level in any facebook application.
oops
forgot to rhyme
i should teach myself a lesson
put me in a box
send me off
thats my aggression
(I cried a little when I read that.)
the power of long nailss seriously break one and its over
The hero shakes his head and blinds the villain with his dandruff.
Yea, I know... EWWWW!!!
(Yeah, any superhero that could be defeated by a spill on the shampoo aisle at Wal-Mart is pretty lame.)
The power of casting invisible rays of light... that do nothing..
The power to shoot poop missiles at 100 mph.
(That would make life complicated.)
To be able to summon spaghetti with your mind
I mean, why would you need that? Unless you were hungry.
Being able to jump half a centimeter higher then before.
like the guy in epic movie. you grow chicken wings and bok like a chicken!!
The power to invariably be attracted to married and otherwise unavailable women.
(This is true... and a little sad.)
The ability to instantly grow your toe nails to any length at will.
the power to kill people with your stinky feet
X-ray vision....I can get this from my weeds.....
(I'll go ahead and assume that "weeds" was not intended to be plural.)
The Superpower that invokes "nothing".
(How long did it take you to come up with that one?)
The superpower of turning into a rock.
That's right...a rock. :)
(I don't know, Kirby can turn into a rock. And maybe you've noticed, Kirby can kick some serious butt.)
the power to melt toasters
the power to turn everything you touch into corn
(When you grab a toaster, does it turn into melted corn?)
the 100 yard shart
(I only have an educated guess at what a 'shart' is (though I'm fairly confident in that guess), but I think the poop missile guy has you beat.)
The power to change the channel with my mind. But it would save money on batteries though.
(What, are you kidding? That would be incredible. I mean, I'm on the couch, a commercial comes on, the remote's way over on the table... How many times has this happened? And it could all be solved with one simple radiation-induced superpower!)
The power to give people gas. It might be fun for a while but then you'll get sick of hearing the brttttttttt noise.
complete knowledge of how to vote correctly
the power to be able to turn off the TV with my mind.
actually, that might be pretty helpful....
(Darn right.)
The ability to perfectly recite any passage from Moby Dick.
(Then everyone would call you Ishmail, which would be a terrible name for a superhero.)
Being able to pee standing up if you are a girl
(I don't think you understand just how convenient this is. I mean, you... You know what? I've said enough.)
Killer body odor ! Anyone who gets too close to you dies.
to know when people post the same question in more than 1 category
(Oh, you got me. What are you going to do, report me? 'Cause the question's already up and I have about 1000 other screen names ready to go at a moment's notice. I will not be silenced!)
ur hair grows extreamly fast
To fart really bad.... that anyone can smell it will faint...
To stay away from Yahoo Answers
to turn to water. I could drink you then.
(I think you've got it backwards.)
The ability to rewind 8-track tapes with your mind.
The ability to drink and not get a buzz,
Being able to talk to cheese and then never being able to eat it because whenever you put it in your mouth it constantly says "Bob, I am your father"
(Wow, you can't eat the cheese and you have to live with the thought that there may be a little man named Bob living in your mouth...)
the ability to climb trees so you could be friends with the monkeys
to drink a laptop
(...and not get a buzz.)
Every time you yawn you turn a pinkish-green colour for a few minutes.
The super power is ....... the ability to write super lame questions on yahoo answers.
(Don't need that one.)
The ability to smell farts before they happen.
I just disgusted myself with that one
(It's always a good day when over 10% of the answers have to do with flatulence.)
the ability to turn invisible but only when nobody is looking...
or the ability to turn oxygen to carbon dioxide...
or even the ability to glow in the dark like a firefly... and i mean like a firefly because only your behind glows in the dark... lolz
(You just put a 'z' on the end of 'lol'... You are officially my least favorite person on the planet.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment