May 11: I think the Polish are tougher than everyone gives them credit for.

You are right at the center of an assassination plot. Unfortunately, the center is a bad place to be, as you are to target. You shouldn't have pissed off the Polish. You need to carry a weapon with you, but due to budget limitations and the current barometric pressure, you can only carry one to defend yourself against the world class polish assassins. Your options are as follows: nunchucks, 7 angry badgers, or a light saber (but you do not have the force). Which weapon do you choose and why?

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Yahoo! Answers:

light saber!!

What do you have against the Polish?
(A Polish guy once ran over and killed my guard zebra.)

isn't a nunchuck a wii controller?

Nunchucks, cuz they fit in my pocket... badgers are too big and the light saber can only work with the force.

ANGRY BADGERS!!! their teeth will eat thru anythin

Light saber fo shizzle
(Good choice. Shizzle is their best assassin. What will you use fo the others?)

angry bagers
VvvvvV
^^^^^^^
grrrrrrr

My bare hands! I laugh at your weapons and the polish.... Seriously the polish assassins? They are just as bad as the french and will surrender immediately.

I choose 1939. I destroy the Polish with a totalitarian Nazi.
(Good call.)

light saber because it's coolest and probably the most effective

Greatest question ever ...you are a god!.I would go with the badgers,for the simple fact that there's strength in numbers.And there just so dam cute.
(Did everyone hear that? A god.)

The Badgers. I could easily carry them in a burlap bag. I would need thick leather gloves to reach into the bag, but it would require no skill to use them.
Numb-Chucks are difficult to use. I once saw a guy knock himself with a pair.
And I can hurl a Badger much further than I can swing a light-saber.
Well you can throw the light-saber, but you can only do once. With the bag of Badgers I will have more ready in case I miss.
I work for the National Badger Association. We are lobbying Congress to protect your right to protect yourself with Badgers.
(You, sir, are a great public servant.)

Got to be the 7 angry badgers. That gives you seven chances to evade your would-be-assassins. While a badger is dealing with an assassin you can be heading out the back door.
Besides, they would be trained to deal with an armed human, but how many get trained in hand to badger combat?
(Only Shizzle. He's good.)

light saber. Good thing I'm best friends with Luke skywalker 'coz he'll get me out of anything =)
(Psh. Luke Skywalker is a pansy. The most useful thing he ever did outside of blowing up the Death Star was get his hand cut off. And even then he didn' t have the courtesy to die.)

nunchucks are slow and would take many hits to do good damage.
if i do not have the force the light saber would not do me much good now would it?
do the seven angry badgers. they can attack seven assassinators.

The nunchucks. Because everyone is scared of how much nun a nunchuck chucks if a nunchuck could chuck nuns.
(Great answer.)

if the grenadine doesn't taste right, you're not drinking cherry coke.
why else would you go to wisconsin and buffalo?
(Yeah... you just got whacked by a small Polish man. And no one will miss you.)

7 Angry Badgers.

The weapon I've always carried ...my walking stick
(That wasn't a choice.)

Lightsaber-Nunchucks
(That would be so awesome.)

Nothing beats an angry badger; seven in one place is like the Tsar bomb of the animal world.

The angry badgers, obviously. That will give me the ability to fight off the assassins on multiple fronts. And then once I have dispatched them I can put the badgers in my pants and pick up chicks. They will ask me if that's an angry badger in my pants or if I'm just happy to see them. And I will answer, slyly, with a knowing look in my eyes, "both."
(And then they would walk away as you quickly and painfully realize the consequences of sticking and angry badger in your pants.)

If I had the force, then lightsaber for sure, but otherwise it would have to be the angry badgers.
Then there is the difficult decision of whether to use them sparingly, or all at once...

lightsaber-nunchuck wielding badgers. 7 of them.
I may not have the force, but they sure as hell do.

I would go with the 7 badgers. I would refer to them as the Magnificent Seven and give them names of dead composers. They would be called Schubert, Brahms, Wolfgang, Johan, Chopin, Berlioz, and Pete. They could defend me from multiple simultaneous attacks.

I'm pretty sure the polish would absolutely @#$% themselves if i whipped out a light saber, it would take them days to figure out how to screw in the bulb anyways.
(It was never my intention to open up an assault on Polish people...)