Apr. 29: Why so serious?

So here's the deal. In my personal opinion, this question is absolutely ridiculous. I almost scare myself sometimes with some of the crap I come up with, simply because it can not be a good sign for my sanity. Even though the ultimate question here is a very simple one, I really thought that the means I used to get there would make it clear that I wasn't looking for serious responses. However, I was wrong. A little over half of these are legit answers, but we'll just have to deal with it. I mean, it's this or nothing. And I know you don't want nothing. And if you do you should let me know so I can stop spending precious time coming up with questions. OK, now that we have that out of the way:

You're cruising along the highway in your RV when you hit an old man. Terrified, you get out to see if you can help him. He definitely looks dead. You turn to get back in the RV and drive away (no one saw you... you know you'd do it), when you hear movement. It's the old man getting up. Relieved, you begin to apologize, but he interrupts you: "Sonny, I'm gonna grant you three wishes". You are really confused, but play along. Your first wish is for more wishes. He hits you with his cane and tells you that you can't do that. "Just fer that, I'm only giving you one, and it can't be anything fer yerself". What's your wish?

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Yahoo! Answers:

help!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuyG0jiAoBfmIdpqaBu3YUbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090428214550AA51kBp
(This is a perfect example of the pathetic things you find on Answers. Though I have to say, the last guy who answered has a point.)

Nice question, I'd probably wish for world piece.
(Which piece? I hear the southern hemisphere's quite nice.)

world peace/cure for cancer
i know those are two but we can pretend its one
(No we can't. Magic old guys don't bargain.)

for my crush to like me
(Unless you are the most conceited person alive, that would be for your benefit, and therefore would violate the old man's rule. You now owe the old man a wish.)

I'd wish for every human being on the planet to be completely and totally open minded
(That's stupid and you're wrong.)

for my family and friends to be eternally happy

Proof that there is no god.

For the girl i hav a crush on to fall for me.
(See my comment above.)

i wish my dad won the lottery

for david archuleta to be my just friend...
(Who doesn't? ......... Who's David Archuleta?)

A cure for cancer, and world peace
(Two things. Sorry.)

I would wish that there would be no more suffering in the world, of any kind.

a very lucky life, bcuhz then when u play gambling, u win lots of moneyy, and when ur lucky, u can meet a lucky guy/girl, when yuhr about to fall, but u didnt bcuhz u were lucky.
(This is just a hunch, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that no amount of luck is going to do you any good. Why? Oh, I don't know... bcuhz.)

to have great realationships and love for the rest of my life

too have more love and passion from my husband.
(That's actually kind of sad.)

All I need is $120,000 to jumpstart my life.
That, or I would wish to be David Beckham so I can get the girl I want. She works in the cosmetics department at my store.
All the people wishing for "good things for others" already have good things of their own. I don't, so it's hard for me to be selfless. My life is already "selfless" by default.
(I don't even know where to begin...)

I would wish for the ability to make an impact on many peoples life in a positive way before i die.

that he would change the "one rule wish" and make it so EVERYONE can have as many wishes as they want.
(Hmmm... that may actually work. Unfortunately it's just like saying "The next sentence is a lie. The previous sentence is true" to a robot. It'll only end in zero wishes and someone's head exploding.)

it's not even a riddle, dude.

A multi-million lotto ticket for my friend who will go halvsies with me....
(Good work. There's no way I can shoot this one down.
Greedy jerk...)

i wish that you allow me to get more wishes
(*bludgeoned to death with cane* You have to be a complete fool to ask for that again.)